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sweetlumps.bsky.social
Sweet Lumps
@sweetlumps.bsky.social
66 followers 78 following 120 posts
I bring a certain "je ne sais pourquoi"
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sweetlumps.bsky.social
If you see this, post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation.
Map showing "Lower Dicker" north of "Upper Dicker" alongside a screenshot from There's Something About Mary with the caption "Well, how the hell did you get the Lower Dicker above the Upper Dicker"
November 28, 2025 at 5:33 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
Some people call me the space cowboy, some call me
A gasoline pump at a Shell station that says THE GIVING PUMP on it
September 17, 2025 at 1:31 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
September 16, 2025 at 12:16 AM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
[clerk at the comptroller’s office]
What’s the business address, sir?
[me, sweating profusely, registering a fake business]
uhhhhhh
A building in downtown Silver Spring with the words ONE INVENTA PLACE on it
September 14, 2025 at 8:09 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
I upgraded to a new phone recently, and the thumbnails for my iTunes playlists seem a bit... off
iTunes playlist named "Black and Queer." The thumbnail photo is the album cover of Neil Diamond's "12 Songs."
September 12, 2025 at 12:13 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
[whispers] Crunchatize me Cap'n
a box of Cap'n Crunch "Oops All Berries" bearing the slogan "Crunch-a-tize me cap'n!"
September 9, 2025 at 12:03 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
August 25, 2025 at 1:27 AM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
When I was younger I thought Seth Green and Jamie Kennedy were the same person and then I saw Enemy of the State and lost my fucking mind
Seth Green and Jamie Kennedy, who are decidedly two different human people, in Enemy of the State.
August 4, 2025 at 4:32 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
I went down an internet rabbit hole last night, and while reading the Wikipedia entry for Pauly Shore's "Biodome" (don't ask) I stumbled across this nugget
A wikipedia screenshot of text reading as follows: The producers of Bio-Dome originally intended to film in the real Biosphere 2, but permission was denied by Steve Bannon who had become involved in managing the facility. "We're not in the movie business", Bannon told the producers, "and we're focused on a very big effort here to turn around and legitimize the science and education program." Instead, Tillman Water Reclamation Plant in Van Nuys, California, was used.
July 26, 2025 at 10:15 AM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
Just walked into my local Michaels in July and I dunno you guys, I’m beginning to think maybe private equity is not so good at running businesses
It’s a Halloween display. At the front of the store. In July.
July 22, 2025 at 9:42 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
Cats have an unshakeable, inborn understanding of squatters' rights
This is a picture of my cat, Riker, lying on my pillow when I want to lie down to go to sleep. He's a good boy, a sweet boy. But he absolutely rejects that the bed is "mine." He was here first. He spends most of the day here. He's put his fucking time in.
July 22, 2025 at 3:31 AM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
Me receiving the news that @josephsmemecoat.bsky.social has gone another day without posting
June 20, 2025 at 12:41 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
THIS VEHICLE DOES NOT
Prince George's County (Maryland) bus with writing on the back that says "THIS VEHICLE DOES NOT" and like, that's it.
June 20, 2025 at 12:10 AM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
Pro wrestling meme format: Undertaker standing behind an oblivious AJ Styles. AJ Styles is "Pundits making light of entire industries being devastated and enshittified by LLMs." Undertaker is "100 'news analysis' bots for the price of 1 pundit."
June 17, 2025 at 5:14 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
I made a thing, nerds
image of the Klingon moon Praxis, post-destruction, with the caption "PRAXIS is not just a moon in the Klingon Empire"
April 25, 2025 at 10:08 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
Here's an ad-free CNBC live feed if anyone's looking
April 3, 2025 at 4:20 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
I made this 5 years ago and... WELP
Customized Magic: The Gathering card. Artwork features Chuck Schumer. 0/1 white creature, mana cost 3WW, "Fallen Empires" expansion (ha), creature type "Spineless." Abilities are "When another player declares an attack, roll a die. If you roll a 6, send a strongly worded letter in two weeks. Otherwise, do nothing."
March 14, 2025 at 5:17 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
Screenshot of George W. Bush from the 2004 Presidential Debates -- the "you forgot Poland" moment. Meme text reads "YOU FORGOT GOLFING."
February 24, 2025 at 4:59 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
serious black-and-white portrait of an older Bob Dylan with the following text inset: "New Kids on the Block has a bunch of hits / Chinese food makes me sick / and I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer / I like girls that wear Abercrombie & Fitch"
February 17, 2025 at 2:33 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
This came with my health insurance card in the mail, and I'm saving it for the next time someone asks for a business card
A little wallet card, about the size of a credit card, with the words INTENTIONALLY BLANK on it
January 3, 2025 at 5:36 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
good news, fellow battery-chewers of bluesky
AI search result to query "are AA batteries kosher." The following AI overview is given at the top of search results: Yes, some AA batteries are kosher, including Duracell's alkaline AA batteries. AA batteries are typically made of steel, zinc, manganese, potassium, graphite, paper, and plastic. Under normal use, alkaline batteries are non-toxic and not considered hazardous waste.
November 18, 2024 at 1:41 AM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
they’re evolving
Plastic Easter eggs at the Dollar General. They’re done up in camouflage. Plastic Easter eggs at the Dollar General in hot pink camouflage.
March 15, 2024 at 9:27 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
In case you’re wondering about the state of Google search in 2024, here’s what they served up after the first dozen or so results for “Prince George’s County Public Schools”: several years-old news stories and a bunch of propaganda under the suggested search “reasons not to go to public school”
3 news stories about school shooting lockdown alerts from 6-8 years ago 3 blog posts from 2018-2023: “9 reasons your child should not go to school”; “100 reasons why you shouldn’t go to school”; “why I don’t want to send my kids to public school”
February 2, 2024 at 12:42 AM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
“Which one, Georgetown?”
A bus ad for The Catholic University of America which reads “There are more than 200 Catholic universities in America. Only one is THE Catholic University of America.”
January 27, 2024 at 8:54 PM
sweetlumps.bsky.social
why does this look like david cross doing a bit
Screenshot of a Netflix comedy special called WORKIN' MAN featuring alleged comedian Dusty Slay
January 17, 2024 at 10:07 PM