swearclock ⌚︎
@swearclock.bsky.social
Throw away your watches - they are obsolete. A bot by Rob Manuel. Add your suggestions here: bit.ly/swearclockform
Alan Titchmarch Peggs Monty Don With A Rake Handle, Whilst Nellie The Dog Looks On With A Bemused Expression. It's 11:00PM
November 12, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Alan Titchmarch Peggs Monty Don With A Rake Handle, Whilst Nellie The Dog Looks On With A Bemused Expression. It's 11:00PM
Cock Jockey Wilson Said I'm In Heaven When You Squirm Then I Cum Buckets It's 10:00PM
November 12, 2025 at 10:00 PM
Cock Jockey Wilson Said I'm In Heaven When You Squirm Then I Cum Buckets It's 10:00PM
Three, Four, Jizz On The Floor. It's 9:00PM
November 12, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Three, Four, Jizz On The Floor. It's 9:00PM
Fuck Me! I'm A Swearing Clock It's 8:00PM
November 12, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Fuck Me! I'm A Swearing Clock It's 8:00PM
Boot Your Grandad In The Conkers It's 7:00PM
November 12, 2025 at 7:00 PM
Boot Your Grandad In The Conkers It's 7:00PM
Bum The Cat Until It Bursts It's 6:00PM
November 12, 2025 at 6:00 PM
Bum The Cat Until It Bursts It's 6:00PM
They're Filming Porn In Your Air B'n'b, It's 5:00PM
November 12, 2025 at 5:00 PM
They're Filming Porn In Your Air B'n'b, It's 5:00PM
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November 12, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Shit On My Tits It's 4:00PM
Alexa, Order More Anal Lube It's 3:00PM
November 12, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Alexa, Order More Anal Lube It's 3:00PM
The Stuck Suez Ship Is No Longer Stuck In The Suez Canal But Stuck In My Shitter It's 2:00PM
November 12, 2025 at 2:00 PM
The Stuck Suez Ship Is No Longer Stuck In The Suez Canal But Stuck In My Shitter It's 2:00PM
Why Is There Sweetcorn In Your Poo? You Don't Even Eat Sweetcorn. It's 1:00PM
November 12, 2025 at 1:00 PM
Why Is There Sweetcorn In Your Poo? You Don't Even Eat Sweetcorn. It's 1:00PM
Piss In A Water Bomb And Throw It At Your Dad It's 12:00PM
November 12, 2025 at 12:00 PM
Piss In A Water Bomb And Throw It At Your Dad It's 12:00PM
Down The Park Doing It Doggy Style For Chewits It's 11:00AM
November 12, 2025 at 11:00 AM
Down The Park Doing It Doggy Style For Chewits It's 11:00AM
Spunk Over A Photo Of A Pentium 4 It's 10:00AM
November 12, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Spunk Over A Photo Of A Pentium 4 It's 10:00AM
Use A Whale's Cock To Split Jimmy Krankie Into Two It's 9:00AM
November 12, 2025 at 9:00 AM
Use A Whale's Cock To Split Jimmy Krankie Into Two It's 9:00AM
Time To Arrange An Awkward Snog With Your Mate On Cctv To Avoid Prosecution For Being A Massive Bent Corrupt Cunt Who Killed Thousands. It's 8:00AM
November 12, 2025 at 8:00 AM
Time To Arrange An Awkward Snog With Your Mate On Cctv To Avoid Prosecution For Being A Massive Bent Corrupt Cunt Who Killed Thousands. It's 8:00AM
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November 12, 2025 at 7:00 AM
Flash Your Gash For Cash On Only Fannies It's 7:00AM
Wham, Ham, Thank You, Sam Cam. It's 6:00AM
November 12, 2025 at 6:00 AM
Wham, Ham, Thank You, Sam Cam. It's 6:00AM
Shit Out A Perfect Sphere It's 5:00AM
November 12, 2025 at 5:00 AM
Shit Out A Perfect Sphere It's 5:00AM
Nail A Huge Shit To Your Front Door Bell To Discourage Unsolicited Callers It's 4:00AM
November 12, 2025 at 4:00 AM
Nail A Huge Shit To Your Front Door Bell To Discourage Unsolicited Callers It's 4:00AM
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November 12, 2025 at 3:00 AM
We Have The Power To Rebuild Him. Faster, Stronger, Filthier. The Bionic Cock. It's 3:00AM
Slap My Back Passage With Your Luncheon Meat Truncheon It's 2:00AM
November 12, 2025 at 2:00 AM
Slap My Back Passage With Your Luncheon Meat Truncheon It's 2:00AM
Mixing Your Own Shit On Your Breakfast Cereal And Naming It 'Weetashitx' To Try And Sound Witty! It's 1:00AM
November 12, 2025 at 1:00 AM
Mixing Your Own Shit On Your Breakfast Cereal And Naming It 'Weetashitx' To Try And Sound Witty! It's 1:00AM
Join The Cult Of Arse Worship It's 12:00AM
November 12, 2025 at 12:00 AM
Join The Cult Of Arse Worship It's 12:00AM
Your House Smells Like Your Dad's Unwashed Bell-End It's 11:00PM
November 11, 2025 at 11:00 PM
Your House Smells Like Your Dad's Unwashed Bell-End It's 11:00PM