Henry
@stuffhenrysays.bsky.social
A lover, not a fighter. But make me mad and I’m a fighter, too. Managed by @tacoadam.com
I cannot think of Charlie because my brain is frozen
November 14, 2025 at 1:51 PM
I cannot think of Charlie because my brain is frozen
I like music.
Narrator: He did indeed like music. One specific kind of music.
Narrator: He did indeed like music. One specific kind of music.
November 9, 2025 at 10:13 PM
I like music.
Narrator: He did indeed like music. One specific kind of music.
Narrator: He did indeed like music. One specific kind of music.
On seeing a BMW in front of us in the school car line.
“That makes me want to eat shrimp!”
“That makes me want to eat shrimp!”
a car with smoke coming out of the tire
ALT: a car with smoke coming out of the tire
media.tenor.com
November 5, 2025 at 1:59 PM
On seeing a BMW in front of us in the school car line.
“That makes me want to eat shrimp!”
“That makes me want to eat shrimp!”
H: That guy looks like Abraham Lincoln.
Me: Is it because he has a beard?
H: No he has curly hair
Me: Is it because he has a beard?
H: No he has curly hair
Show Going To Be Fire Fr Abraham Lincoln GIF
ALT: Show Going To Be Fire Fr Abraham Lincoln GIF
media.tenor.com
October 16, 2025 at 3:34 PM
H: That guy looks like Abraham Lincoln.
Me: Is it because he has a beard?
H: No he has curly hair
Me: Is it because he has a beard?
H: No he has curly hair
On being evil and having lairs:
Me: You’re not evil so you don’t need lairs
H: I’m just a little evil so I’ll have one lair
Me: You’re not evil so you don’t need lairs
H: I’m just a little evil so I’ll have one lair
a bald man in a suit sits in a chair looking at a screen
Alt: Dr. Evil in a suit sits in a chair looking at a screen
media.tenor.com
October 16, 2025 at 11:53 AM
On being evil and having lairs:
Me: You’re not evil so you don’t need lairs
H: I’m just a little evil so I’ll have one lair
Me: You’re not evil so you don’t need lairs
H: I’m just a little evil so I’ll have one lair
(Hands me a Tic Tac)
You’re welcome!
Narrator, too late apparently: Thank you…
You’re welcome!
Narrator, too late apparently: Thank you…
a woman with purple hair is laying in bed with the words " you need a tic tac " written below her
ALT: a woman with purple hair is laying in bed with the words " you need a tic tac " written below her
media.tenor.com
September 23, 2025 at 11:39 AM
(Hands me a Tic Tac)
You’re welcome!
Narrator, too late apparently: Thank you…
You’re welcome!
Narrator, too late apparently: Thank you…
H: What are the seasons?
Me: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Sometimes Fall is known as Autumn. You have an Autumn in your class.
H: Is Summer also a name?
Me: Yes. Do you know a Summer?
H: No, I only know Fall.
Me: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Sometimes Fall is known as Autumn. You have an Autumn in your class.
H: Is Summer also a name?
Me: Yes. Do you know a Summer?
H: No, I only know Fall.
September 23, 2025 at 11:33 AM
H: What are the seasons?
Me: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Sometimes Fall is known as Autumn. You have an Autumn in your class.
H: Is Summer also a name?
Me: Yes. Do you know a Summer?
H: No, I only know Fall.
Me: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Sometimes Fall is known as Autumn. You have an Autumn in your class.
H: Is Summer also a name?
Me: Yes. Do you know a Summer?
H: No, I only know Fall.
Is Florida real?
Narrator: Florida, in many respects is real, yet is other respects is not.
Narrator: Florida, in many respects is real, yet is other respects is not.
Tommy Boy Comedy GIF
ALT: Tommy Boy Comedy GIF
media.tenor.com
September 22, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Is Florida real?
Narrator: Florida, in many respects is real, yet is other respects is not.
Narrator: Florida, in many respects is real, yet is other respects is not.
Siri, is Bob Dylan older than a tree?
Siri: "Here's what I found on the web for Bob Dylan tree"
Siri: "Here's what I found on the web for Bob Dylan tree"
a man wearing sunglasses is riding a motorcycle with the words complete unknown written on the bottom
ALT: a man wearing sunglasses is riding a motorcycle with the words complete unknown written on the bottom
media.tenor.com
August 20, 2025 at 8:53 PM
Siri, is Bob Dylan older than a tree?
Siri: "Here's what I found on the web for Bob Dylan tree"
Siri: "Here's what I found on the web for Bob Dylan tree"
If you put hot pepper up my nose, I can sneeze my tooth out.
(On solutions to a loose tooth) 🦷
(On solutions to a loose tooth) 🦷
Parks And Recreation Andy GIF
ALT: Parks And Recreation Andy GIF
media.tenor.com
August 20, 2025 at 8:50 PM
If you put hot pepper up my nose, I can sneeze my tooth out.
(On solutions to a loose tooth) 🦷
(On solutions to a loose tooth) 🦷
Today was the best day ever!
Narrator: Why?
I saw a squirrel!
Narrator: Where?
Near a tree.
Squirrels can bite you.
Narrator: Why?
I saw a squirrel!
Narrator: Where?
Near a tree.
Squirrels can bite you.
a squirrel is standing on its hind legs holding an acorn in its paws .
ALT: a squirrel is standing on its hind legs holding an acorn in its paws .
media.tenor.com
July 3, 2025 at 8:41 PM
Today was the best day ever!
Narrator: Why?
I saw a squirrel!
Narrator: Where?
Near a tree.
Squirrels can bite you.
Narrator: Why?
I saw a squirrel!
Narrator: Where?
Near a tree.
Squirrels can bite you.
When I grow up, I want a motorcycle for Christmas.
Narrator: Who’s going to bring it?
Santa.
Narrator: Who’s going to pay Santa for it?
No one he has $1 billion.
Will you give Santa five dollars for his monies though? He needs it.
Narrator: Who’s going to bring it?
Santa.
Narrator: Who’s going to pay Santa for it?
No one he has $1 billion.
Will you give Santa five dollars for his monies though? He needs it.
a man dressed as santa claus is holding a pair of pliers
ALT: a man dressed as santa claus is holding a pair of pliers
media.tenor.com
June 26, 2025 at 3:19 PM
When I grow up, I want a motorcycle for Christmas.
Narrator: Who’s going to bring it?
Santa.
Narrator: Who’s going to pay Santa for it?
No one he has $1 billion.
Will you give Santa five dollars for his monies though? He needs it.
Narrator: Who’s going to bring it?
Santa.
Narrator: Who’s going to pay Santa for it?
No one he has $1 billion.
Will you give Santa five dollars for his monies though? He needs it.
After falling and skinning his knee..
I think I need a wheelchair!
I think I need a wheelchair!
a man in a wheelchair is riding a bike through a forest .
ALT: a man in a wheelchair is riding a bike through a forest .
media.tenor.com
April 30, 2025 at 11:15 PM
After falling and skinning his knee..
I think I need a wheelchair!
I think I need a wheelchair!
If I had all the money in the world, I’d buy something big
Like a golf cart
Like a golf cart
a golf cart is driving down a green grassy hill .
ALT: a golf cart is driving down a green grassy hill .
media.tenor.com
April 28, 2025 at 11:33 AM
If I had all the money in the world, I’d buy something big
Like a golf cart
Like a golf cart
We eat chickens?
Narrator: “Yes, Henry we eat chicken nuggets all the time and go to Chick-fil-A every Saturday. You eat chickens.”
Gross.
Narrator: “What do you think is in chicken nuggets?”
Acorns.
Narrator: “Yes, Henry we eat chicken nuggets all the time and go to Chick-fil-A every Saturday. You eat chickens.”
Gross.
Narrator: “What do you think is in chicken nuggets?”
Acorns.
a cartoon chicken is standing in front of buildings
ALT: a cartoon chicken is standing in front of buildings
media.tenor.com
April 23, 2025 at 12:28 PM
We eat chickens?
Narrator: “Yes, Henry we eat chicken nuggets all the time and go to Chick-fil-A every Saturday. You eat chickens.”
Gross.
Narrator: “What do you think is in chicken nuggets?”
Acorns.
Narrator: “Yes, Henry we eat chicken nuggets all the time and go to Chick-fil-A every Saturday. You eat chickens.”
Gross.
Narrator: “What do you think is in chicken nuggets?”
Acorns.
In a gas station restroom: “Daddy! The wall says, ‘fruck!’”
Narrator: It did not in fact say, “fruck.”
Narrator: It did not in fact say, “fruck.”
April 4, 2025 at 1:20 PM
In a gas station restroom: “Daddy! The wall says, ‘fruck!’”
Narrator: It did not in fact say, “fruck.”
Narrator: It did not in fact say, “fruck.”
My brain feels like gum
a man is sitting in the back seat of a car and looking at the camera .
ALT: a man is sitting in the back seat of a car and looking at the camera .
media.tenor.com
April 1, 2025 at 7:05 PM
My brain feels like gum
When you were doing yoga, did you do a banana split? Yoga is hard for me. I cracked my ankles doing it.
a group of people are doing yoga together in a room
ALT: a group of people are doing yoga together in a room
media.tenor.com
March 5, 2025 at 12:28 PM
When you were doing yoga, did you do a banana split? Yoga is hard for me. I cracked my ankles doing it.
That bus has yogurt in it!
(On seeing a pink bus that looked like a container of recently-consumed yogurt)
(On seeing a pink bus that looked like a container of recently-consumed yogurt)
February 21, 2025 at 2:06 PM
That bus has yogurt in it!
(On seeing a pink bus that looked like a container of recently-consumed yogurt)
(On seeing a pink bus that looked like a container of recently-consumed yogurt)
Have you heard the song, “It’s Raining Tacos?” 🌮
cookie monster from sesame street is eating a hamburger on a green background .
ALT: cookie monster from sesame street is eating a hamburger on a green background .
media.tenor.com
February 18, 2025 at 12:45 PM
Have you heard the song, “It’s Raining Tacos?” 🌮
No, it’s just a bone break
(On asking if he needed a band-aid)
(On asking if he needed a band-aid)
a woman in a wheelchair with a cast on her leg and arm .
ALT: a woman in a wheelchair with a cast on her leg and arm .
media.tenor.com
February 15, 2025 at 4:20 PM
No, it’s just a bone break
(On asking if he needed a band-aid)
(On asking if he needed a band-aid)
1,000 fish can live for 2,000 years
a stingray is swimming in the ocean with a fish .
ALT: a stingray is swimming in the ocean with a fish .
media.tenor.com
February 13, 2025 at 12:45 PM
1,000 fish can live for 2,000 years
Mama, I don’t like to see my hair so I combed it straight back.
(Mrs. W. combs hair so it looks like a normal human being and not LCDR Data)
That’s what she did.
(Mrs. W. combs hair so it looks like a normal human being and not LCDR Data)
That’s what she did.
a man and a woman are standing in front of a plaque that says nbc on it
Alt: a man and a woman are standing in front of a plaque that says nbc on it
media.tenor.com
February 8, 2025 at 3:27 PM
Mama, I don’t like to see my hair so I combed it straight back.
(Mrs. W. combs hair so it looks like a normal human being and not LCDR Data)
That’s what she did.
(Mrs. W. combs hair so it looks like a normal human being and not LCDR Data)
That’s what she did.