Helle
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straightfromhelle.com
Helle
@straightfromhelle.com
Modern day Schleprock
Reposted by Helle
My favorite fairytale is Law & Order. The bad guys go to jail and the good guys feel bad about it over whisky.
March 13, 2025 at 2:05 AM
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please make my gravestone a skee-ball machine and if you just want to come play skee-ball with no other type of grieving agenda that's totally cool with me (who is dead)
October 29, 2025 at 11:22 PM
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An extremely offline friend just referred to the lockdown as "Two Thousand and Covid" and that is how I will be referring to it from now on.
October 29, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Thou shall celebrate the resurrection of your savior with fireworks ~ Book of Holler Ch 1 V 1
April 20, 2025 at 1:14 AM
Stranger Things led me to believe there’d be more slimy tentacled monsters in the upside down. I guess they got the slimy part right.
April 7, 2025 at 12:24 AM
Freddie says it’s Frenchie Friday. He likes to put his toys under the coffee table & then gets mad when he can’t get them out.
April 5, 2025 at 12:31 AM
Streaming services as restaurants:

Netflix = Taco Bell
Disney = McDonalds
Peacock = Raising Canes
Prime = Applebees
Paramount = Olive Garden
Max = Longhorn
Apple = McCormick & Schmicks
April 5, 2025 at 12:21 AM
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It's easy to never have to look below the surface, when you've always lived above it
March 19, 2025 at 4:27 PM
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I wish dread burned more calories.
March 18, 2025 at 11:23 AM
One of my kids is leaving tomorrow to live abroad and I think I’ve felt every emotion there is today.
March 17, 2025 at 10:47 PM
My favorite fairytale is Law & Order. The bad guys go to jail and the good guys feel bad about it over whisky.
March 13, 2025 at 2:05 AM
Reposted by Helle
Maybe she’s born with it.
Maybe it’s trauma response.
March 13, 2025 at 1:45 AM
2 am: oh shit I must remember to do xyz

7 am-10 pm:

10 pm: set reminder to do xyz tomorrow
March 13, 2025 at 1:12 AM
Lovely view of the Worm Moon from the back porch tonight
March 12, 2025 at 11:46 PM
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Should have fled into the wilds this week.
November 4, 2024 at 12:44 PM
In my younger years, I was such a heavy sleeper that I slept through an earthquake & a hurricane. Now, the moon shining too brightly into my window wakes me up.
March 11, 2025 at 12:18 PM
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You may look at it as you lost an hour of sleep, but I look at it as I lost an hour of insomnia.
March 9, 2025 at 9:52 PM
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Sure, make fun of my cargo pants but sooner or later you're going to need a cocktail shaker or a map of 11th century France.
March 9, 2025 at 11:07 AM
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Jesus only had 12 followers…

‘Cuz he never re-skeeted anyone.
March 9, 2025 at 3:05 PM
You may look at it as you lost an hour of sleep, but I look at it as I lost an hour of insomnia.
March 9, 2025 at 9:52 PM
Reposted by Helle
Happy Weekend, folks. Read books. Make art. Piss off fascists.
March 8, 2025 at 12:08 AM
For the last 2 ½ years, I’ve been battling a life altering injury & trying to hold the American companies responsible. Because of all their shell companies & legal maneuvers, I’ve lost. Our system of justice is shit. Don’t stay at a Hyatt property in Mexico.
March 6, 2025 at 1:00 AM
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If you think cats are assholes, just wait until you get to know human beings.
March 5, 2025 at 11:53 AM
First time having a King Cake tonight & I have to say I wasn’t expecting baby Jesus to be a choking hazard.
March 5, 2025 at 1:02 AM
Kieran Culkin better name that baby Oscar.
March 3, 2025 at 4:49 PM