Steve Whitaker
@stevewhitaker.bsky.social
Eighth-grade science teacher.
Reposted by Steve Whitaker
What has one thumb and is rapidly getting redder?
This floor!
This floor!
July 3, 2025 at 6:42 PM
What has one thumb and is rapidly getting redder?
This floor!
This floor!
Who's got two thumbs and is learning how to use a table saw ONE thumb who's got one thumb
July 3, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Who's got two thumbs and is learning how to use a table saw ONE thumb who's got one thumb
Young me: Oracle, when I am older will I still go to the club on weekends
Oracle: Yes
Me: sweet
Oracle: it will be Costco
Oracle: Yes
Me: sweet
Oracle: it will be Costco
June 29, 2025 at 11:02 AM
Young me: Oracle, when I am older will I still go to the club on weekends
Oracle: Yes
Me: sweet
Oracle: it will be Costco
Oracle: Yes
Me: sweet
Oracle: it will be Costco
I think about this line a lot.
June 25, 2025 at 11:23 AM
I think about this line a lot.
🎶 I don’t know but I’ve been told /
I’m not very talented at making up cadences
I’m not very talented at making up cadences
June 20, 2025 at 4:00 PM
🎶 I don’t know but I’ve been told /
I’m not very talented at making up cadences
I’m not very talented at making up cadences
George Washington felt old as he stood.
“My dear Martha, please rest assured,
as my body goes south
with these teeth in my mouth
At least I will always have wood.”
“My dear Martha, please rest assured,
as my body goes south
with these teeth in my mouth
At least I will always have wood.”
June 16, 2025 at 7:44 PM
George Washington felt old as he stood.
“My dear Martha, please rest assured,
as my body goes south
with these teeth in my mouth
At least I will always have wood.”
“My dear Martha, please rest assured,
as my body goes south
with these teeth in my mouth
At least I will always have wood.”
“Proof of age, sir?”
“I have a playlist on my phone that’s just covers of Toto’s ‘Africa.’”
“Enjoy your beer.”
“I have a playlist on my phone that’s just covers of Toto’s ‘Africa.’”
“Enjoy your beer.”
June 13, 2025 at 10:02 AM
“Proof of age, sir?”
“I have a playlist on my phone that’s just covers of Toto’s ‘Africa.’”
“Enjoy your beer.”
“I have a playlist on my phone that’s just covers of Toto’s ‘Africa.’”
“Enjoy your beer.”
An excellent twist ending would be that God is non-binary and they want to have a word with MAGA
May 23, 2025 at 2:36 PM
An excellent twist ending would be that God is non-binary and they want to have a word with MAGA
I suck at haikus /
Because I am no good at /
Counting
Because I am no good at /
Counting
May 22, 2025 at 8:42 PM
I suck at haikus /
Because I am no good at /
Counting
Because I am no good at /
Counting
Greatest wallpaper ever? Yes.
May 19, 2025 at 9:53 PM
Greatest wallpaper ever? Yes.
No one has more misplaced faith in me than my Apple Watch
May 18, 2025 at 9:45 PM
No one has more misplaced faith in me than my Apple Watch
Democrats in Congress rn
May 14, 2025 at 10:26 AM
Democrats in Congress rn
The opposite of a conclave is a convlex
May 8, 2025 at 12:11 AM
The opposite of a conclave is a convlex
I think if Jesus came back today, he'd take a quick look around and then do one of those comedic slow backwards walks out of frame
April 20, 2025 at 3:40 PM
I think if Jesus came back today, he'd take a quick look around and then do one of those comedic slow backwards walks out of frame
Good job, Rory McIlroy!
But our Green Jacket is in another castle!
But our Green Jacket is in another castle!
April 14, 2025 at 10:13 AM
Good job, Rory McIlroy!
But our Green Jacket is in another castle!
But our Green Jacket is in another castle!
I'm positive that Post Malone is a character played by Shia LaBeouf
April 12, 2025 at 12:02 PM
I'm positive that Post Malone is a character played by Shia LaBeouf
Get me to God's country
March 31, 2025 at 11:53 AM
Get me to God's country
Compared to all of... this, the new season of Black Mirror is going to feel utopian
March 29, 2025 at 1:12 PM
Compared to all of... this, the new season of Black Mirror is going to feel utopian
Pete Hegseth is a dick
March 26, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Pete Hegseth is a dick
DoorDash: food's here
Pete Hegseth: we're bombing Yemen tomorrow
Pete Hegseth: we're bombing Yemen tomorrow
March 24, 2025 at 8:36 PM
DoorDash: food's here
Pete Hegseth: we're bombing Yemen tomorrow
Pete Hegseth: we're bombing Yemen tomorrow
I knew I shouldn't have bought this Dyson Turbo Bidet xTreme
March 23, 2025 at 9:44 AM
I knew I shouldn't have bought this Dyson Turbo Bidet xTreme
There are abolitionist writers hiding aboard this ship! Harriet Beecher Stoweaways!
March 22, 2025 at 5:36 PM
There are abolitionist writers hiding aboard this ship! Harriet Beecher Stoweaways!
She blinded me with science. But mostly an icepick
March 20, 2025 at 12:01 AM
She blinded me with science. But mostly an icepick
I baked a cobbler this morning. Poor little guy kept right on making shoes until the end
March 19, 2025 at 10:50 AM
I baked a cobbler this morning. Poor little guy kept right on making shoes until the end
Are you a leprechaun or a leprechaun't?
March 17, 2025 at 11:43 PM
Are you a leprechaun or a leprechaun't?