He's a law abiding citizen it makes me SICK

Me when I've just settled in bed and the dog walks to another room and starts barking at 5 second intervals for no good reason

Inexplicably my body after 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep

He gettn gakked on the yak from tha front to tha back

My brain to me anytime there's a microscopic change in someone's tone:

Getting this tattooed on my lower back