soft pretty aesthetic at odds with his personality

I need him emotionally unstable and high and throwing himself at yqy bc he decided thats a good idea (its not)

it only makes him more harsh about the stuff he thinks is bullshit lmao

Whiny, pouty, "doesn't qi-ge want to spend time with his xiao-jiu?" It activates places in his brain his not proud of.

just to be clear i don't think he's indifferent to sj's well being, it's obvious that he does care, and i know he'd have a lot more to think about as a sect leader at the end, it's just that to me it doesn't seem like something that's important in his decision making until it's too late.

i mean i don't think poor, trauma fueled decision making and pain/punishment seeking and feeding his own guilt are mutually exclusive behaviors. i think they go hand in hand in this case. idk its extreme to only take action when you get sent legs in a box, it would require an extreme mindset.

Yqys weird. It seems like maximum pain is the point and sj's well being matters less than feeding his guilty concious

I was imagining begging, for yqy not to leave him again, that he'll be good this time please don't hurt him, sometimes in a very childish tone of voice and very obviously afraid. Not specifics, but the implications would be pretty clear.

it's confusing and alarming. makes him more ornery when yqy finds him just to "check" on him.

he can't imagine qi-ge doing...../that/, but whatever slowly developing sexuality he has is fixated on the idea. gentle hands and a soft smile looking at /him/, laying him down, but it's not qi-ge anymore, it's yqy with his broad shoulders deep voice.