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sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaNonymous
@sortanonymous.bsky.social
920 followers 89 following 1.8K posts
19 - He/Him - Cis/Autistic
PFP: @aridee.bsky.social
Meta Knightmare writer and not-so-long-suffering Bengals fan
GTFO - Bigots, Nazis, etc

https://tumblr.com/sortanonymous
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sortanonymous.bsky.social
Love how these are the first two replies
November 8, 2025 at 4:21 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 10 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #week10 #nflweek10 #sortasports #sortapicks #predictions
*Raiders-Broncos (TNF): Broncos *Falcons-Colts (Berlin, Germany): Colts *Jaguars-Texans: Jaguars *Bills-Dolphins: Bills *Browns-Jets: Browns *Patriots-Buccaneers: Patriots *Saints-Panthers: Panthers *Giants-Bears: Bears *Ravens-Vikings: Vikings *Cardinals-Seahawks: Seahawks *Rams-49ers: Rams *Lions-Commanders: Lions *Steelers-Chargers (SNF): Chargers *Eagles-Packers (MNF): Packers 2025 Picks halfway through (Weeks 1-9): 94.5/135, or exactly 70% 2024 Week 10 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2%
November 7, 2025 at 1:19 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 9 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #recap #week9 #nflweek9 #sortasports #sortapicks
*Ravens-Dolphins (✅): Easy target for a get-right game. *Bears-Bengals (✅): My 4th full year being a fan of this team and I'm already becoming numb to shit like this. *Falcons-Patriots (✅): Patriots will never stop haunting the Falcons, I see. *49ers-Giants (✅): 49ers are showing just how banged-up you can be to still have a shot at a division. *Colts-Steelers (❌): They're just that immune to a cold streak before they've clinched 9 wins apparently. *Chargers-Titans (✅): Yep, this Wild Card loss is going to be painful once all the injuries are too much to ignore. *Vikings-Lions (❌): Vikings are too strange to fold that easily. *Panthers-Packers (❌): Cardiac Cats are back for a new generation! *Broncos-Texans (✅): Houston really wants to be the anti-Bengals, I guess. *Saints-Rams (✅): Rams continue to be the dark horse. *Jaguars-Raiders (✅): So Jaguars to not just win the first-ever multi-touchdown overtime, but to win on such a weird deflection and break the field goal record to make Justin Tucker wince even more this year! (Also pretty Raiders for them to literally invent a new way to lose an NFL game like that lol) *Chiefs-Bills (✅): Bills own them in the regular season, yadda yadda, how will it hurt in January this time? *Seahawks-Commanders (✅): Already a disaster night for Washington even before Daniels (in garbage time?!?) got that much more dangerously close to being the new RGIII. *Cardinals-Cowboys (❌): Cardinals got the win they absolutely needed. In light of what happened this morning with one of these two teams, though, that's honestly all that feels right to say about this game, if it even matters anyway. 2025 Week 9 Picks: 10/14, or 71.4% 2025 Picks halfway through (Weeks 1-9): 94.5/135, or a less nice, but exact 70%
November 7, 2025 at 1:03 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Something I felt the need to say before posting anything for SortaPicks again (tw/cw: mentions of a real-life suicide)

National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is 988
Before I post anything else for SortaPicks, I'd just like to send my condolences to the family and friends of Cowboys DE Marshawn Kneeland, who, just days after scoring his first career touchdown on a blocked punt, tragically lost his life last night at age 24, with it appearing that he claimed his life amidst declining mental health. All I can even say amidst a tragedy like this is that you are never alone. There's always people out there who love you and whose lives are all the better because of you. If you need help, it's more than okay to go to them for help, because you don't deserve to fight alone.
November 7, 2025 at 12:31 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Some chuds really going through it rn XD
November 5, 2025 at 4:19 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
@jeff-gluck.bsky.social summed up what happened with the NASCAR Xfinity championship perfectly on Twitter. I just hope he's right about this awful format finally changing (and not just with a 3-3-4-shaped bandaid)
What a strange vibe at the track. I’m having trouble putting into words. It’s like oddly subdued. If the format wasn’t already changing, I’d feel outrage and anger. But it is changing. It just didn’t change soon enough. I feel bad for Zilisch. But at the same time, I also feel bad for Love. Because the reaction to the format is not fair to him after he had the performance of his life. He shouldn’t have to apologize for it or defend it. The fact a championship could be accompanied by such a numb feeling is obviously another sign the system needs to change. But again, it already is. Last night was a crisis averted for NASCAR with Corey Heim winning, particularly the way he did it. People around the garage felt relief today. Tonight, NASCAR’s luck ran out.
November 2, 2025 at 2:33 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Out of boredom, I looked at every World Series where a team went home with a 3-2 lead (in a 2-3-2 format anyway), got out my kinda old doodle board, and tracked how many times each of the 3 possible scenarios happened (hopefully it's not too hard to read and I got all this right lol)
*Led 3-2 going home and won Game 6 (12/26): 1930 A's, 1935 Tigers, 1951 Yankees, 1953 Yankees, 1977 Yankees, 1980 Phillies, 1993 Blue Jays, 1995 Braves, 1996 Yankees, 2009 Yankees, 2013 Red Sox, and 2022 Astros *Led 3-2 going home and lost Game 6, but won Game 7 (5/26): 1931 Cardinals, 1947 Yankees, 1960 Pirates, 1964 Cardinals, and 1997 Marlins *Led 3-2 going home, but lost both Games 6 and 7 (9/26): 1926 Yankees, 1934 Tigers, 1952 Dodgers, 1958 Braves, 1968 Cardinals, 1973 Mets, 1979 Orioles, 2016 Cleveland, and 2019 Astros
October 31, 2025 at 3:11 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 9 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #week9 #nflweek9 #sortapicks #sortasports
*Ravens-Dolphins (TNF): Ravens *Bears-Bengals: Bears *Falcons-Patriots: Patriots *49ers-Giants: 49ers *Colts-Steelers: Colts *Chargers-Titans: Chargers *Vikings-Lions: Lions *Panthers-Packers: Packers *Broncos-Texans: Broncos *Saints-Rams: Rams *Jaguars-Raiders: Jaguars *Chiefs-Bills (National CBS): Bills *Seahawks-Commanders (SNF): Seahawks *Cardinals-Cowboys (MNF): Cowboys 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 84.5/121, or a very nice 69.9% 2024 Week 9 Picks: 11/15, or 73.3%
October 31, 2025 at 12:29 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 8 Recap #nfl #nflrecap #nflpicks #picks #week8 #nflweek8 #sortapicks #sortasports
*Vikings-Chargers (✅): Well, as if the story of Wentz couldn't get more depressing. *Dolphins-Falcons (❌): LMAO I guess i kinda called it when I said the '09 Rams could beat these guys by 31 the week after they'd beat the '85 Bears by 31. *Jets-Bengals (❌): Because this pathetic franchise doesn't deserve another original thought this week (other than how deserving it would be if this was the only team to lose to the Jets all year), I'll just copy-paste my rant to my fellow young, but battered Bengals fan friend after this disaster: "Pardon the language turnaround, but this franchise is a fucking joke. I finally have enough trust in them to pick them to win a football game this year against one of the worst quarterbacks of the decade and the coach who ran out the clock right after a fake punt, and this is what happens. A defense that would make the worst offenses from 100 years ago running on pure bathtub booze look like the 2007 Patriots on steroids too powerful for Barry Bonds. Joe Burrow needs to wake up, smell the monster, and flee to a franchise that even remotely deserves him. He deserves to do what Stafford did against us and win a Super Bowl on a franchise that isn't a goddamn meme. And if we happen to somehow be good enough to play in that Super Bowl years later, we deserve to lose. We deserve to get fucking diced to pieces at a 1989 Broncos level by the QB we almost destroyed and Mike Brown deserves to get his incompetence rubbed in his face if it's the last game he ever watches from the owner's box too fancy to deserve his crusty, cheap ass. I hate loving this team so much." [breathes for a little bit] ... Okay, back to the show! :D *Bears-Ravens (❌): Typical Chicago consistency in being inconsistent! *Browns-Patriots (✅): I may hate the Browns, but Myles Garret deserves so much better than this. *Giants-Eagles (✅): The Giants look like they're kinda sorta maybe back on track for like 1.75 games, and apparently that's enough for the football gods (and also frankly themselves in last week's case) to bury them with everything including the kitchen sink, complete with the injuries that would come from that. Now it's not even funny anymore, but just sad. *49ers-Texans (❌): We're nearly halfway through and I still have no idea what the hell to make of either of these teams. *Bills-Panthers (✅): Well, at least the MeowMix Memorial Streak was fun while it lasted. *Buccaneers-Saints (✅): Geez, can the Saints even be a good jobber anymore? *Titans-Colts (✅): Yeah, not much of a shock that the Colts are doing a good job at continuing their attempt at a '99 Rams arc against this out-of-tune Nashville pile-up. *Cowboys-Broncos (✅): That defense sure is living up to the second half of the name Dallas(s)! *Packers-Steelers (✅): My defense may be an unslavageable disaster, but at least it's not an absurdly expensive unsalvageable disaster! *Commanders-Chiefs (✅): I don't know whether to feel more annoyance at the Chiefs getting hot again or more complete indifference at the Commanders since losing Jayden. 2025 Week 8 Picks: 9/13, or 69.2% 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-8): 84.5/121, or still a very nice 69.9%
October 31, 2025 at 12:17 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Me, someone who's been awful at managing backlogs of all types of media since I was in like 6th grade
October 26, 2025 at 8:47 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Here's my segment for the SortaPicks recap. It's literally just my stream-of-consciousness thoughts to a friend who's frankly endured this shit even longer than I have, but this utter meme of a franchise doesn't deserve an original segment anyway. #bengals #firezactaylor
Pardon the language turnaround, but this franchise is a fucking joke. I finally have enough trust in them to pick them to win a football game this year against one of the worst quarterbacks of the decade and the coach who ran out the clock right after a fake punt, and this is what happens. A defense that would make the worst offenses from 100 years ago running on pure bathtub booze look like the 2007 Patriots on steroids too powerful for Barry Bonds. Joe Burrow needs to wake up, smell the monster, and flee to a franchise that even remotely deserves him. He deserves to do what Stafford did against us and win a Super Bowl on a franchise that isn't a goddamn meme. And if we happen to somehow be good enough to play in that Super Bowl years later, we deserve to lose. We deserve to get fucking diced to pieces at a 1989 Broncos level by the QB we almost destroyed and Mike Brown deserves to get his incompetence rubbed in his face if it's the last game he ever watches from the owner's box too fancy to deserve his crusty, cheap ass. I hate loving this team so much.
October 26, 2025 at 8:45 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
The Los Angeles Dodgers rn (credit to SportsLogos.net for the logo) #worldseries
Dodgers after Game 1 (over meme of Jack in the ice in The Shining) - "Go to Canadia, they said. It would be easy, they said."
October 25, 2025 at 1:11 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL Week 8 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #nflweek8 #week8 #sortasports #sortapicks
*Vikings-Chargers (TNF): Chargers *Dolphins-Falcons: Falcons *Jets-Bengals: Bengals (Wow, it feels too good to be true picking them with confidence for the first time since... I don't even know when!) *Bears-Ravens: Bears *Browns-Patriots: Patriots *Giants-Eagles: Eagles *49ers-Texans: 49ers *Bills-Panthers: Bills *Buccaneers-Saints: Buccaneers *Titans-Colts: Colts *Cowboys-Broncos: Broncos *Packers-Steelers (SNF): Packers *Commanders-Chiefs (MNF): Chiefs 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-7): 75.5/108, or a very nice 69.9% 2024 Week 8 Picks: 13/16, or 81.3%
October 24, 2025 at 12:09 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL Weeks 6 + 7 Recaps (Yes, I procrastinated so much on these last 2 reviews that I'm doing a double feature here lol; 1st pic is Week 6 and the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th pics are Week 7) #nfl #sortasports #sortapicks #nflpicks #nflrecap #picks #week6 #nflweek6 #week7 #nflweek7
SortaSports: SortaPicks (SUPER LATE) 2025 NFL Week 6 Review *Eagles-Giants (❌): So uhhh that's concerning for Philly. But wow, maybe the Giants could really build off this into something! (Yes, I wrote this AFTER Week 7 lol) *Broncos-Jets (✅): Subjecting Fieldsball to British eyes should be worthy of a trial at the Hague. *Seahawks-Jaguars (❌): Good ol' Jags consistency in being inconsistent, I guess. *Chargers-Dolphins (✅): I've seen rocks sink less rapidly than the Dolphins. *Rams-Ravens (✅): Don't worry, getting Lamar back will solve all your problems, right guys? :D *Cardinals-Colts (✅): Big Red truly is in the red right now. *Cowboys-Panthers (❌): In what's quickly becoming a weird-ass season, Carolina really seems interested in being the weirdest-ass team of all. *Patriots-Saints (✅): The Pats Maye be back. *Browns-Steelers (✅): The Turnpike Rivalry being a pike in Cleveland's side, shocking. *Titans-Raiders (✅): This is literally the 4th time in 5 years where the first overall pick was stuck with a horrible coach whose failure could be seen a mile away and got fired mid-season. Literally when will franchises freaking learn?!? *49ers-Buccaneers (✅): A certain Queen song is becoming very relevant to this era of 49ers football in regards to how often they go down with injury, and despite how close they've come to it, it sure as shit ain't "We Are the Champions". *Bengals-Packers (✅): Well, at least we only looked kinda incompetent and not completely incompetent, I guess? *Lions-Chiefs (❌): Goddamn it, they're actually back maybe. *Bills-Falcons (❌): Uhhh, Bills? You doing okay? *Bears-Commanders (❌): Okay, you're definitely not doing okay, Commanders. 2025 Week 6 Picks: 9/15, or 60% (40% less than Week 6 of 2024) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-6): 64.5/93, or 69.4% (down 1.8% from last week) SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL 2025 Week 7 Recap *Steelers-Bengals (❌): Wait, the Bengals got into another close high-scoring shootout that wasn't decided until the final seconds due to defensive ineptitude on the final drive... and WE were the ones who won? Against Pittsburgh? Wow. I actually forgot how it felt to be on the good side of these. I know this won't amount to anything, but I'm enjoying it while I can! (And also we're somehow not completely out of this division race despite not deserving it one bit lmao) *Rams-Jaguars (✅): Uhhh are the Jags really the best franchise to push to London like it's their alternate home? *Patriots-Titans (✅): Drake Maye bounced back from a bad coach in his rookie year and no help on the O-line to show off his potential in year 2. Cam Ward is just begging to the football gods that the same will hold true for him, because prospects for year 1 in this dump are GRIM. *Saints-Bears (✅): Bears are looking dangerously close to being a competent NFL franchise. I actually can't believe it, damn. *Dolphins-Browns (✅): The Dolphins' locker room sounds more lost than a jewel from the Louvre, geez. *Panthers-Jets (✅): Now I'm kinda pissed at myself for using up all my half-decent plane puns for the Jets failing last year. *Eagles-Vikings (❌): The Eagles did all they could to hand Minnesota the win on a silver platter, and yet both Carson Wentz and also KOC having a foolish amount of faith in Carson Wentz slapped the win back onto Philly's face whether they wanted it or not. *Raiders-Chiefs (✅): How long until the gum is the only thing keeping Pete sane at night? (Week 7 Recap continues on next pic) (Week 7 Recap con't) *Giants-Broncos (✅): One of those unbelievable comebacks where it's hard to find something new about it other than that New York seems to have at least one moment per decade where they have one of the worst chokes of all time and somehow manage to scapegoat someone on special teams every time. (Like yeah, missing 2 big extra points sucks, but was he the only one that gave up 33 points in one quarter? Was that backup longsnapper with the snapfu (followed immediately by a potential missed PI on the holder's desperation heave) the one who blew them a 24-point lead in 20 minutes against a washed 49ers team in the '02 Wild Card? Was the rookie punter with the line drive punt to DeSean (which he briefly fumbled!) the one who blew a 21-point lead in 7 minutes with the division on the line in 2010? I was literally just thinking about stuff like that when this disasterpiece happened. Okay, don't worry, I'll get off my soapbox now lol) *Colts-Chargers (❌): Wow, Chargers just couldn't wait until January or even November to get Chargering, I guess. *Packers-Cardinals (✅): Guess Green Bay still hasn't forgiven them for 51-45 or the Hail Larry after all. *Commanders-Cowboys (❌): You better not be trying to turn Daniels into the next RGIII, I swear. (Week 7 Recap continues on next pic) (Week 7 Recap con't) *Falcons-49ers (✅): At this rate, Atlanta could beat the '85 Bears by 31 and then lose to the '09 Rams by 31 the very next week, and I wouldn't be too surprised. *Buccaneers-Lions (✅): Guess reality was gonna set in eventually for Baker and co. *Texans-Seahawks (✅): The only reason Seattle merely flirted with barfing this game to the Texans instead of outright handing it straight to them was that they knew they had to go easy on Seattleites that night hours after George Springer had just broke their hearts and chewed them out and spit them out and then stepped on them and threw them down a sewer and called them names and then laughed. (Yes, that still hurts and I've never even set foot within like 2,300 miles of Seattle lmao) 2025 Week 7 Picks: 11/15, or 73.3% (1.7% less than Week 7 of 2024) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-7): 75.5/108, or a very nice 69.9% (0.5% higher than last week)
October 23, 2025 at 3:11 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Seattle Mariners
October 21, 2025 at 11:07 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks (Super Late) 2025 NFL Week 7 Picks #nfl #week7 #nflweek7 #sortapicks #sortasports #nflpicks #picks
*Steelers-Bengals (TNF): Steelers (already lost, but I swear it's not just a punishment to myself) *Rams-Jaguars (London, U.K.): Rams (See, I'm not that mean to myself! I think.) *Patriots-Titans: Patriots *Saints-Bears: Bears *Dolphins-Browns: Browns *Panthers-Jets: Panthers *Eagles-Vikings: Vikings *Raiders-Chiefs: Chiefs *Giants-Broncos: Broncos *Colts-Chargers: Chargers *Packers-Cardinals: Packers *Commanders-Cowboys: Commanders *Falcons-49ers (SNF): Falcons *Buccaneers-Lions (MNF ABC/ESPN): Lions *Texans-Seahawks (MNF ESPN): Seahawks 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-6): 64.5/93, or 69.4% 2024 Week 7 Picks: 12/16, or 75%
October 19, 2025 at 6:03 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
@nflplayoffscenarios.com I realize this really doesn't mean much right now, but as someone who likes keeping track of how many games teams are up or down by, what's up with Green Bay? How many do they trail Detroit by? How many are they up on the 3-1 teams by? Tie + bye = max confusion lol
October 10, 2025 at 3:32 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks (slightly late) 2025 NFL Week 6 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #picks #nflweek6 #week6 #sortapicks #sortasports #sports
*Eagles-Giants (TNF): Eagles *Broncos-Jets (London, U.K.): Broncos *Seahawks-Jaguars: Jaguars *Chargers-Dolphins: Chargers *Rams-Ravens: Rams *Cardinals-Colts: Colts *Cowboys-Panthers: Cowboys *Saints-Patriots: Patriots *Browns-Steelers: Steelers *Titans-Raiders: Raiders *49ers-Buccaneers: Buccaneers *Bengals-Packers: Packers *Lions-Chiefs (SNF): Lions *Bills-Falcons (MNF ESPN): Bills *Bears-Commanders (MNF ABC): Commanders 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-5): 55.5/78, or 71.2% 2024 Week 6 Picks: 14/14, or 100% (First and still only perfect score in SortaPicks' young history)
October 10, 2025 at 1:52 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks (slightly late) NFL Week 5 Review #nfl #nflpicks #nflpredictions #nflreview #week5 #nflweek5
*49ers-Rams (❌): Are the 49ers trying to steal the Rams' zombie cred? *Vikings-Browns (✅): When you're making Kirk Cousins look clutch, then that's not a good sign no matter what country you're in. *Giants-Saints (❌): Giant butterfingers. *Broncos-Eagles (❌): Why do I feel like this will break something in Philly, and not in a good way? *Texans-Ravens (✅): Why of course the Ravens wait to implode until the Bengals are too broken to respond. *Raiders-Colts (✅): I was literally just thinking that the Raiders won't as ungodly awful this year lol *Cowboys-Jets (✅): Dak REALLY wants to try for an MVP one more time before he inevitably gets Romo'd, huh? *Dolphins-Panthers (❌): Forget any bland jokes about how cooked the Fins are, because let's just focus on how great it is to have Hornets guy commentating NFL games now! *Buccaneers-Seahawks (❌): Imagine telling people during the original Expansion Tank Bowl of '76 that this was the type of game these two would produce 50 years later? And also that their quarterbacks in that game would have such freaking weird careers? *Titans-Cardinals (❌): Forget generational trauma, because now Zoomer Cardinals fans have their own special version of "They are who we thought they were!" *Lions-Bengals (✅): Like I said, absolutely broken. And I don't think putting an Elite arm punter behind that wet paper O-line is gonna help much. *Commanders-Chargers (❌): Damn, the Chargers aren't going to Charger early, are they? *Patriots-Bills (❌): Drake Maye have figured it out now! *Chiefs-Jaguars (❌): Jacksonville is truly the NFL's Twilight Zone. You may not lose there often as a visiting team, but if you do, it may be in a way you sure as hell won't forget. In the Chiefs' case, a pick-six and The Trip-Six that have K.C. in all the more trouble. 2025 Week 5 Picks: 5/14, or 35.7% (14.3% worse than Week 5 last year, and my worst week of picks to date 😭) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-5): 55.5/78, or 71.2% (down 7.7% from last week) (Also just ignore my stats from last year besides week-by-week since I think I miscounted on some of those lol)
October 10, 2025 at 12:44 AM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Honestly I'm especially proud of the final few seconds lmao (iykyk)
Picture of outgoing Dodgers pitcher and famous postseason hero/Pride Month respecter Clayton Kershaw frustrated at potentially going out on a whimper in Game 3 of the 2025 NLDS, with the text above reading, "Don't worry, I'll make sure to wear a hat to the retirement party, so long as I can put "4.63 in 196 1/3" on it."
October 9, 2025 at 7:36 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
Yeah that sounds about right (Also side note: Maybe this is aiming a tad young for this Skeet's likely target audience, but am I the only one who remembers Ka-bob-bles from like the mid-2010s? I honestly liked those more than normal Lunchables when I was younger. No idea if they're still around lol)
October 5, 2025 at 6:08 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
I know I'm like 3 days late to this, but SNF Packers-Cowboys (and really any NFL tie) be like
Image of Anais, Darwin, and Richard Watterson in completely neutral faces in front of a banner saying "today is the day" and surrounded by beige balloons. From The Amazing World of Gumball - s05e06a: "The Fuss" (2017)
October 1, 2025 at 4:52 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks 2025 NFL Week 5 Picks #nfl #nflpicks #nflpredictions #picks #week5 #nflweek5
*49ers-Rams (TNF): Rams *Vikings-Browns (London, U.K.): Vikings *Giants-Saints: Giants *Broncos-Eagles: Eagles *Texans-Ravens: Texans *Raiders-Colts: Colts *Cowboys-Jets: Cowboys *Dolphins-Panthers: Dolphins *Buccaneers-Seahawks: Seahawks *Titans-Cardinals: Cardinals *Lions-Bengals: Lions *Commanders-Chargers: Chargers *Patriots-Bills (SNF): Bills *Chiefs-Jaguars (MNF): Chiefs 2025 Weeks 1-4 Picks: 50.5/64, or 78.9% 2024 Week 5 Picks: 7/14, or 50% 2024 Weeks 1-5 Picks: 46/71, or 64.8%
October 1, 2025 at 4:43 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
SortaSports: SortaPicks NFL Week 4 Review #nfl #nflpicks #nflreview #nflweek4 #week4 #sortasports #sortapicks (Yes, I screenshotted on my phobe with a white background this time instead of on a black background on my laptop because my phone's 😐 emoji is that much better than my laptop's lol)
*Seahawks-Cardinals (✅): The Seahawks defense went from untouchable for 55 minutes to swiss cheese for the last 5, Kyler and the Cardinals look even more unsustainable, and I still don't know what to think of this shitshow(/pos?) division going into yet another TNF division showdown. *Vikings-Steelers (❌): Damn, the Vikings really just had to have no O-line and barely much more of a QB at the worst possible time. Even when they had full potential to expose how washed Tomlin is and how bailed out he is by T.J. Watt and Pals. *Commanders-Falcons (❌): Falcons really interested in being one of those gloriously inconsistent teams that ends with a point differential of like +150 and a record of like 8-9, huh? *Saints-Bills (✅): Saints looking to be one of the most entertaining and deceptively competitive Tank Bowl champions ever, I see. *Chargers-Giants (❌): Well that sure felt like a Dart in the back. *Titans-Texans (✅): They ass indeed. *Browns-Lions (✅): Elite teasing by Cleveland early on, at least until Flacco unleashed one last beautifully Elite arm punt before looking at the flowers. *Panthers-Patriots (✅): Drake Maye not be wasted after all! (No doubt about it though, Carolina is going down in flames. Maybe Bryce will pull a Darnold and look good on a real franchise 5 years from now or something.) *Eagles-Buccaneers (✅): Falcons fans must be seething seeing how good the Eagles are at teasing epic chokes just to hold on anyway. *Colts-Rams (✅): Well, Indy tried, but their flaws started showing badly against an actually pretty good Rams team. Now time to see if they learn not to drop the season at the 1 when trying to rebound. *Jaguars-49ers (✅): Jacksonville having a quietly solid start to the season while also toying with Purdy wasn't on my bingo card for the first month, but okay! *Ravens-Chiefs (❌): Goddamn it, they may be back. That or the Ravens are like actual trash even putting aside Lamar going down? *Bears-Raiders (✅): I really have no idea if the Bears are onto something or just coasting by on mid teams. Raiders certainly getting more antsy in their gum-chewing though. *Packers-Cowboys (😐): Welp, the Micah revenge tour quickly gave way to a beautiful mess of awful defense and blocked PAT pick-twos, and ultimately, despite the Packers' best efforts in being more indecisive than me not knowing what snack to have at 1 am, one of the best games of the year ended with a tie due to the NFL not thinking through its new OT rules with the time limit. (Hopefully the new tie emoji is good, although it honestly looks way lamer on my laptop than my phone.) *Jets-Dolphins (✅): When you make the Dolphins look so solid against you and waste Garrett Wilson like that, you really know you're cooked. (Also I really wouldn't recommend seeing that ugly Tyreek Hill injury unless you have a strong stomach. All I can say is that at least now Tyreek probably knows how he's made his exes and kids feel.) *Bengals-Broncos (✅): Well, guess it was about time the universe course-corrected and my spoiled ass got to know how a classic Bungles season felt. 2025 Week 4 Picks: 11.5/16, or 71.9% (+3.1% from Week 4 of 2024) 2025 Picks so far (Weeks 1-4): 50.5/64, or 78.9% (+18% from Weeks 1-4 of 2024)
October 1, 2025 at 3:54 PM
sortanonymous.bsky.social
You know what, I'd say we're both right and deserve a cookie on this one
The Simpsons Movie release dates: July 21, 2007 (Springfield, Vermont) July 27, 2007 (rest of the United States)
September 29, 2025 at 7:02 PM