Knife Witch
LightNews LightNews
banner
slodwick.com
Knife Witch
@slodwick.com
140 followers 93 following 430 posts
All parties are advised to chill. (she/her)

Liberal | Feminist | Trans rights are human rights | BLM | Free Palestine
Posts Replies Media Videos
slodwick.com
We got like... 5 or 6 inches of snow over the past couple days. The leaves weren't even off the trees yet!
A large black dog standing in the middle of a snowy backyard scene. The dog's tracks are visible where he's been walking through the fairly deep snow. Another house, a shed, and a large tree, all coated in a blanket of fluffy snow, are also visible.
November 11, 2025 at 11:11 PM
slodwick.com
My feelings as a human in 2025:
A TikTok comment by user bradcraz which reads, “I am not smart enough to have this many people dumber than me.“
October 17, 2025 at 2:03 AM
slodwick.com
Thanks to this article on Book Riot, I feel fine about my reading. bookriot.com/how-many-boo...
A quote from an article by Chris Arnone at Book Riot: "Statistically, averages are useful, but are heavily skewed by outliers. The median is the mathametical breaking point for a statistical group, with roughly half of numbers sitting above or below it. The median for the 2016 study and the better indicator of the average reader in America is four. The average American reader reads four books each year. Feeling better about your TBR pile now, aren't you?"
September 26, 2025 at 4:15 PM
slodwick.com
What movie do you consider "perfect"?
From "Hot Fuzz": the interior of a police vehicle involved in a high-speed chase. Danny (Nick Frost) is in the left seat, hands on the wheel, and Nicholas (Simon Pegg) is in the right seat, wielding a gun. Both men look suitably intense. Between the two men, a large white swan is visible in the back seat. The swan's face is hard to read.
September 22, 2025 at 3:27 AM
slodwick.com
Information from my AO3 profile. My pseuds: slodwick. I joined on: 2008-09-16. My user ID is: 31
September 6, 2025 at 11:13 PM
slodwick.com
It feels like the soul companion to this one
A tumblr post by puppercat: my intrusive thoughts during fall young man there r leaves all around i said young man eat a leaf off the ground with a comment by r5h i said young man won't they make a cool sound when you stuff! them! in! your! leaf hole
August 12, 2025 at 5:22 PM
slodwick.com
re: previous post, I also think about this one a disturbing amount
A tweet by @fuckthem00n: fly me to the moon let me kick it's fucking ass let me show it what i learned in my moon jujitsu class
August 12, 2025 at 6:04 AM
slodwick.com
reskeet with a tweet you still think about
A tweet from user @PleaseBeGneiss: [restaurant] RACCOON (in trench coat): one egg WAITER: one egg? *suspicious* you're not from around here, are you? RACCOON: t-two eggs? WAITER: ah yes, that's a normal quantity of eggs RACCOON: *excitedly* five eggs! WAITER: *eyes narrow*
August 12, 2025 at 6:02 AM
slodwick.com
A pale blue Moomin with glasses and smiling eyes, holding a knife, and cursing. It's-a me!
August 10, 2025 at 12:10 AM
slodwick.com
a splendid tweet by @Fred_Delicious on the bad site that reads: "this is like kendrick vs drake but with two drakes"
June 6, 2025 at 1:07 AM
slodwick.com
Aside from all the obvious issues one could have with Gavin Newsom and his garbage podcast, I am also super disturbed by that damn comma. WTF. Why is it there?!
A close-up of the subtitle on the promotional image for the "This is Gavin Newsom" podcast, which reads," Episode 4: And, This is Steve Bannon." I hate nearly everything about this graphic (and the podcast as a whole). The teal background color is nice.
March 12, 2025 at 9:04 PM
slodwick.com
Happy (early) Thanksgiving, US pals!
A blue Tupperware bowl containing an extremely traditional serving of vivid red cranberry jelly, which is to say retaining the shape of the can it came in, and a big serving spoon. Behind the bowl is a perhaps less- traditional can of Coke Zero.
November 27, 2024 at 9:44 PM
slodwick.com
Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy that isn't a selfie.
From the Gubbins game app, a cartoon lemon with a smiley face on a yellow background the same shade as the lemon paired with letters in multicolored boxes that read, “PRICKS REMAIN MAD”
November 26, 2024 at 2:19 AM
slodwick.com
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy.

💯
A tweet from @NotABigJerk that reads, "i'm not falling for that hot take. that's clearly someone with a fetish for getting yelled at. i refuse to participate in that kind of perversion"
November 23, 2024 at 5:00 PM
slodwick.com
Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy.
A post that reads "This account is" above a black & white photograph of a sandwich board sign outdoors. The sign reads in all caps: "PRO BLACK, PRO BROWN, PRO WEED, PRO GAY, PRO CHOICE, PRO TRANS"
August 20, 2024 at 6:03 AM
slodwick.com
If you see this, I IMPLORE you to post a picture from whatever device you're using without explanation.
Screencap that reads: "This account is" followed by a black and white photo of a customized sandwich board sign on a sidewalk reading "PRO BLACK, PRO BROWN, PRO WEED, PRO GAY, PRO CHOICE, PRO TRANS"
May 27, 2024 at 6:38 PM
slodwick.com
A Twitter post by @urbanfriendden which reads: "(eats exactly one apple) where is my health you wretched orb"
May 14, 2024 at 4:09 AM
slodwick.com
Reminds me of this:
A social media post from user bumblebeebats: "I feel like some people need to relearn Genre Expectations... 'Man, this tragedy sucks!!! Why did they just do XYZ, then everything could have ended happily!!' well, then it wouldn't be a tragedy, would it. 'Man, this lighthearted teen romcom is terrible, it's so sappy and unrealistic!!' Well, yeah, if it had been gritty and dark, it wouldn't have been a lighthearted romcom, would it. Is the writing actually bad or are you just trying to order a milkshake from a Home Depot"
January 21, 2024 at 4:05 PM
slodwick.com
IKIK it's a lot, but this kept circling my brain last night.
It often feels like people are still working under the same misapprehension about social media, which is to say: Twitter’s users are not its customers. They are its product. Advertisers are the customers, paying for the time/attention/engagement of those users, and Twitter is merely the vehicle by which it is delivered. Imagine Twitter was actually an ice cream shop. The Twitter users are not the customers eating in the dining room, they are the dairy cows out back. The actual customers, the people buying the cones, are the advertisers. That’s how the ice cream shop of Twitter makes its money. Granted, it never made a ton of money, but it was basically the only real shop in town, and it was wildly popular, so it made enough to stay afloat. Now comes this guy – let’s call him Enol – who already has a couple businesses (though zero experience running an ice cream shop), and he thinks he can run that place better. Plus, he’s rich and bored, so he just… buys it. He’ll figure it out out! First, he fires most of the counter staff and dishwashers. Then he guts the restaurant, throwing out the tables and chairs; he even sells off the appliances, leaving the few folks he retains with just a single cooler to store the ice cream. A few folks try to give him some helpful advice or loan him a copy of “Restaurants for Dumbys”, but he fires them, too. Enol (who loves to loudly proclaim that he’s an animal lover) decides to open up the doors in the back and just let the cows in. The cows, as you might expect, mostly wander around, knocking stuff over and shitting everywhere, because what else are they gonna do? And, when no one’s looking, a few wolves also sneak in, too. The wolves are also shitting and sometimes they take down some of the cows, which leads a lot of the remaining cows to sneak back out the door and run for greener pastures. Finally, even Enol, this mega animal lover, takes a cheeky shit himself now and then in the middle of the dining room. Now when customers walk in, they see a gross, shitty, overrun mess instead of the ice cream shop they saw last time. They’re like, “Hey, man, this is disgusting! I don’t want to eat in this unsanitary, dangerous environment. I think I might take my money and buy something at that new bakery restaurant down the street, or maybe the waffle truck outside. At least those places have a decent score from the Health Department. Also, are those wolves eating your cows?” Enol stands in the center of a ring of snarling wolves, covered in shit and blood, and says, “Fine. Take your money and go fuck yourself. I don’t need you – I have cows!” And as the customers are slowly backing away from this unhinged dude and out of the restaurant, he continues, “Just be aware, if this place goes bankrupt and closes, it’ll be your fault!” Ruining a perfectly serviceable restaurant and then childishly blaming the customers because you don’t know how to restaurant is… actually pretty in line with the sort of person I believe Enol to be. A lot of us cows saw this coming, but that doesn’t make it less sad.
November 30, 2023 at 5:02 PM
slodwick.com
Perennial.
A screenshot of a tweet by user @dietz_meredith that reads: "one of the sluttiest things a dude can do is roll up his sleeves"
November 29, 2023 at 12:21 AM
slodwick.com
tell us a perfect album that came out when u were 16

easy.
The cover art for Fiona Apple's album "Tidal": an extremely blurry extreme close-up of a white woman's face (Apple herself). She noticeably has very pale blue eyes, and the whole image is overly bright/washed out.
November 8, 2023 at 6:59 PM
slodwick.com
a bloody skeet ulrich as whatever the hell his character's name is in scream standing next to neve campbell, with the caption "we all go a little mad sometimes"
August 18, 2023 at 11:12 PM