Six Flags Official
@sixflags-official.bsky.social
“Official” account for all Six Flags amusement parks. Follow for all Six Flags updates, news, and announcements!
Visit our site: https://www.sixflags.com/
SATIRE and PARODY of course. Not real account.
Visit our site: https://www.sixflags.com/
SATIRE and PARODY of course. Not real account.
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November 25, 2025 at 7:43 AM
google how get rid of demonic entity Siri Google how to purge summoned hellbeast from themepark easy please thank you
Hey so uhm. big news. Yeah Trump and Clinton were yknow “doing it” at one of our parks. We didn’t wanna say anything, frankly we tried getting them to leave but Putin kept telling us we’d get nuked if we stopped it so we just tried to hide it. Srry :/
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
November 18, 2025 at 9:57 PM
Hey so uhm. big news. Yeah Trump and Clinton were yknow “doing it” at one of our parks. We didn’t wanna say anything, frankly we tried getting them to leave but Putin kept telling us we’d get nuked if we stopped it so we just tried to hide it. Srry :/
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
Kings Island, Ohio on Sunday night!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
October 15, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Kings Island, Ohio on Sunday night!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
u got bloons td6?
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
October 12, 2025 at 11:28 PM
u got bloons td6?
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
Sorry for the lack of content, folks! Our power went out for several months and we haven’t bothered fixing it, as no one gives a shit anyways! Just pay us exorbitant amounts for necessities such as water (like normal) and everything will be fine. Happy rollercoastering!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
July 21, 2025 at 11:32 PM
Sorry for the lack of content, folks! Our power went out for several months and we haven’t bothered fixing it, as no one gives a shit anyways! Just pay us exorbitant amounts for necessities such as water (like normal) and everything will be fine. Happy rollercoastering!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
I can see you reading this.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
March 19, 2025 at 12:37 AM
I can see you reading this.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
Why are potatoes so fucking good like wtf
-Six Flags Management
-Six Flags Management
March 6, 2025 at 4:24 PM
Why are potatoes so fucking good like wtf
-Six Flags Management
-Six Flags Management
Happy to alert everyone that in a similar manner to the United States Governmenr, we have begun firing all Emergency Medical Personnel (and pretty much anyone certified to do more than help you park). Happy Rollercoastering!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
February 19, 2025 at 4:37 PM
Happy to alert everyone that in a similar manner to the United States Governmenr, we have begun firing all Emergency Medical Personnel (and pretty much anyone certified to do more than help you park). Happy Rollercoastering!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
something something gulf of america blah blah blah IT SHOULD BE GULF OF SIX FLAGS. someone good at geography and/or history back me up on ts i know im right bcuz I said so
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
February 12, 2025 at 3:46 AM
something something gulf of america blah blah blah IT SHOULD BE GULF OF SIX FLAGS. someone good at geography and/or history back me up on ts i know im right bcuz I said so
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
Just heard that MoonPie has declared the State of Florida to now be known henceforth as "MoonPieTown". You fucks, you want war? Florida was ours to conquer, you snuck in before we built a location. Watch your back. Nowhere is safe.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
February 12, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Just heard that MoonPie has declared the State of Florida to now be known henceforth as "MoonPieTown". You fucks, you want war? Florida was ours to conquer, you snuck in before we built a location. Watch your back. Nowhere is safe.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
In the amusedment park. straight up “sixing it”. and by “it”, haha, well. let’s justr say. My flags.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
February 10, 2025 at 4:31 PM
In the amusedment park. straight up “sixing it”. and by “it”, haha, well. let’s justr say. My flags.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
We are glad to announce that our Gold & Prestige Membership systems will no longer actually do anything in or outside the park except charge you $399.99 monthly. For the foreseeable future, these Membership systems also remain uncancelable. Happy Rollercoastering!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
February 8, 2025 at 6:46 PM
We are glad to announce that our Gold & Prestige Membership systems will no longer actually do anything in or outside the park except charge you $399.99 monthly. For the foreseeable future, these Membership systems also remain uncancelable. Happy Rollercoastering!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
After several hours, we have successfully taken over 23 separate Burger King locations by force. Casualties were heavy but our employees stand strong. Come fight us, you cowards.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
January 9, 2025 at 4:32 PM
After several hours, we have successfully taken over 23 separate Burger King locations by force. Casualties were heavy but our employees stand strong. Come fight us, you cowards.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
Yes, Six Flags managers get a holiday break. No, the employees don't. That's not our issue to deal with!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
December 23, 2024 at 1:29 AM
Yes, Six Flags managers get a holiday break. No, the employees don't. That's not our issue to deal with!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
This fucking guy just shit all over one of our parks tf
December 17, 2024 at 4:44 PM
This fucking guy just shit all over one of our parks tf
Ritualistic Cannibalism is nowhere near as bad as people say it is at any one of our Six Flags amusement parks.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
December 16, 2024 at 4:50 PM
Ritualistic Cannibalism is nowhere near as bad as people say it is at any one of our Six Flags amusement parks.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
issue resolved
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
December 13, 2024 at 4:27 PM
issue resolved
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
We will happily accept TIME’s nomination for “worst business of the year”. Take that you Twitter/X fucks.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
December 12, 2024 at 4:33 PM
We will happily accept TIME’s nomination for “worst business of the year”. Take that you Twitter/X fucks.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
even we wouldn’t be that shitty of a healthcare company wtf
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
December 11, 2024 at 4:34 PM
even we wouldn’t be that shitty of a healthcare company wtf
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
Security footage from December 2nd shows that UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson was NOT in our park prior to the events on December 4th. Happy rollercoaster-ing!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
December 10, 2024 at 4:21 PM
Security footage from December 2nd shows that UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson was NOT in our park prior to the events on December 4th. Happy rollercoaster-ing!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
Don’t go into surgery 2morrow. I’m paying a doctor to steal your organs.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
December 9, 2024 at 4:24 PM
Don’t go into surgery 2morrow. I’m paying a doctor to steal your organs.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
Don’t come today, we want to have free time too.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
December 8, 2024 at 6:30 PM
Don’t come today, we want to have free time too.
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
Unfortunately, all rides are scheduled for maintenance today. It would have been easier to do them on separate days, but we like money. Happy rollercoaster-ing!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
December 7, 2024 at 5:12 PM
Unfortunately, all rides are scheduled for maintenance today. It would have been easier to do them on separate days, but we like money. Happy rollercoaster-ing!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
All ELECTRICITY has been cut & entrance gates have been LOCKED in order to punish guests for not paying us enough money. Happy rollercoaster-ing!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
December 6, 2024 at 4:19 PM
All ELECTRICITY has been cut & entrance gates have been LOCKED in order to punish guests for not paying us enough money. Happy rollercoaster-ing!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
Food stands have been restocked! All visitors at any of our parks will now be able to purchase chips that cut up the inside of your mouth even more and make life excruciatingly painful for 2 hours. Happy rollercoaster-ing!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management
December 5, 2024 at 4:39 PM
Food stands have been restocked! All visitors at any of our parks will now be able to purchase chips that cut up the inside of your mouth even more and make life excruciatingly painful for 2 hours. Happy rollercoaster-ing!
- Six Flags Management
- Six Flags Management