Sir Michael
@sirmichael.bsky.social
Creator of the Sturdy Wheelbarrows podcast and the grandson who continues to be persecuted for wearing jean shorts to his grandad's funeral :(
I enjoy the TV show The Traitors. But I believe there are ways to make it even better. Here are my ideas:
November 12, 2025 at 7:07 PM
I enjoy the TV show The Traitors. But I believe there are ways to make it even better. Here are my ideas:
I knew the first COP30 event after Dick Cheney's death would be hard but not this hard :( Can't stop imagining his excited face as he walks around doing his thing; decrying green energy, enriching himself at the expense of an inhabitable future and plotting more war crimes. He'd have been so happy 💔
November 10, 2025 at 8:04 PM
I knew the first COP30 event after Dick Cheney's death would be hard but not this hard :( Can't stop imagining his excited face as he walks around doing his thing; decrying green energy, enriching himself at the expense of an inhabitable future and plotting more war crimes. He'd have been so happy 💔
GREAT day! Met some local youths outside the village shop who asked me to buy them a packet of cigarettes for use in “an anti-smoking billboard campaign” they're working on. I was happy to help! When I gave them the packet they ran to a nearby alley to get started. Good luck with the campaign, kids!
November 7, 2025 at 4:24 PM
GREAT day! Met some local youths outside the village shop who asked me to buy them a packet of cigarettes for use in “an anti-smoking billboard campaign” they're working on. I was happy to help! When I gave them the packet they ran to a nearby alley to get started. Good luck with the campaign, kids!
It's so strange. Back in mid 2000s, I really thought that the day Dick Cheney died would be one of joy and celebration. And I was correct.
November 4, 2025 at 5:46 PM
It's so strange. Back in mid 2000s, I really thought that the day Dick Cheney died would be one of joy and celebration. And I was correct.
Reposted by Sir Michael
Just paid the aul' income tax for the year and consequently have about two beans left to rub together, so if you've been looking for a bit of Irish art now's a very good time to buy. It's this or train the crows to rob billionaires and I'm running out of cheese bribes
A cost-of-living crisis isn't the easiest time to sell art, but: www.ciaraioch.com is where you can support my work, with each archival-quality print on textured heavy paper being produced here in Ireland, shipping internationally in eco-friendly packaging, with free mini-treats in every order 🎁
November 3, 2025 at 10:00 AM
Just paid the aul' income tax for the year and consequently have about two beans left to rub together, so if you've been looking for a bit of Irish art now's a very good time to buy. It's this or train the crows to rob billionaires and I'm running out of cheese bribes
If any of you ever wish to avoid attending an event but need an excuse to get out of it, please feel free to use me. Simply complete this form, give it to the person(s) inviting you to said event and you'll be in the clear 👍
November 2, 2025 at 3:04 PM
If any of you ever wish to avoid attending an event but need an excuse to get out of it, please feel free to use me. Simply complete this form, give it to the person(s) inviting you to said event and you'll be in the clear 👍
If anyone's at a loose end tonight and wants to see something insane, check out the user manual for the Ebac E-Care+ AWM96D2-WH washing machine. I just found a punctuation error in the table of contents!! You don't see slip-ups like that every day!
October 29, 2025 at 7:35 PM
If anyone's at a loose end tonight and wants to see something insane, check out the user manual for the Ebac E-Care+ AWM96D2-WH washing machine. I just found a punctuation error in the table of contents!! You don't see slip-ups like that every day!
Hope this doesn't inconvenience anyone but if any of you are thinking of dressing up for Halloween as the electrician who fixed my grandad's oven in 1986, please don't. I've recently learned that he passed away in 2013 so it would be a little disrespectful. Please choose a different costume instead.
October 27, 2025 at 7:24 PM
Hope this doesn't inconvenience anyone but if any of you are thinking of dressing up for Halloween as the electrician who fixed my grandad's oven in 1986, please don't. I've recently learned that he passed away in 2013 so it would be a little disrespectful. Please choose a different costume instead.
Timesaving tip for any other filing cabinet enthusiasts out there:
If you're checking out pictures of filing cabinet on Google image search, don't bother scrolling past the 6,508th image. The filing cabinets pictured after that aren't as good, imo 👎
If you're checking out pictures of filing cabinet on Google image search, don't bother scrolling past the 6,508th image. The filing cabinets pictured after that aren't as good, imo 👎
October 21, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Timesaving tip for any other filing cabinet enthusiasts out there:
If you're checking out pictures of filing cabinet on Google image search, don't bother scrolling past the 6,508th image. The filing cabinets pictured after that aren't as good, imo 👎
If you're checking out pictures of filing cabinet on Google image search, don't bother scrolling past the 6,508th image. The filing cabinets pictured after that aren't as good, imo 👎
In prison, snitches get stitches. But there should be other rhyming punishments too:
-No online shopping for anyone eavesdropping
-Snoring at night? In your breakfast omlette, you'll find only egg white
-Keep your cell clean or no dressing up for Halloween
-No fresh pears for those who use swears
-No online shopping for anyone eavesdropping
-Snoring at night? In your breakfast omlette, you'll find only egg white
-Keep your cell clean or no dressing up for Halloween
-No fresh pears for those who use swears
October 18, 2025 at 7:23 PM
In prison, snitches get stitches. But there should be other rhyming punishments too:
-No online shopping for anyone eavesdropping
-Snoring at night? In your breakfast omlette, you'll find only egg white
-Keep your cell clean or no dressing up for Halloween
-No fresh pears for those who use swears
-No online shopping for anyone eavesdropping
-Snoring at night? In your breakfast omlette, you'll find only egg white
-Keep your cell clean or no dressing up for Halloween
-No fresh pears for those who use swears
It's hard for us to appreciate the true scale of Mount Everest. So to put it in a context that we can all understand, here's a comparison chart showing the height of Mount Everest alongside other tall things
October 15, 2025 at 6:50 PM
It's hard for us to appreciate the true scale of Mount Everest. So to put it in a context that we can all understand, here's a comparison chart showing the height of Mount Everest alongside other tall things
WARNING: Local youths in the park are offering to verify people's Instagram account for €150. DO NOT PURCHASE. After I paid, I gave them my phone for the verification process but when they gave it back, they had changed my username to “AVerifiedDork”. I AM 99% CERTAIN IT IS NOT A LEGITIMATE BUSINESS
October 13, 2025 at 7:20 PM
WARNING: Local youths in the park are offering to verify people's Instagram account for €150. DO NOT PURCHASE. After I paid, I gave them my phone for the verification process but when they gave it back, they had changed my username to “AVerifiedDork”. I AM 99% CERTAIN IT IS NOT A LEGITIMATE BUSINESS
A former teacher of mine once told me that there are no stupid or unnecessary questions and I carry those words of wisdom with me every day online
October 8, 2025 at 6:18 PM
A former teacher of mine once told me that there are no stupid or unnecessary questions and I carry those words of wisdom with me every day online
Oh no, this is embarrassing 🙈 Word has got out about my donation of over €0.99 to the local owl sanctuary. I must have forgotten to tick the “Anonymous” box by accident 🤦♂️ Now everyone's hailing me as a hero. Please, everyone, this isn't about me! The staff at the sanctuary have done just as much!
October 6, 2025 at 7:25 PM
Oh no, this is embarrassing 🙈 Word has got out about my donation of over €0.99 to the local owl sanctuary. I must have forgotten to tick the “Anonymous” box by accident 🤦♂️ Now everyone's hailing me as a hero. Please, everyone, this isn't about me! The staff at the sanctuary have done just as much!
Thinking of becoming a successful businessperson? Here's everything you'll need to know
October 4, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Thinking of becoming a successful businessperson? Here's everything you'll need to know
With box office revenues falling, Hollywood could boost profits by combining popular genres. My idea? A violent mafia film that's also a heartwarming kids' movie; A toddler is appointed boss of the mafia. The kid slowly teaches the mobsters to have fun and they start doing murders more playfully ❤️
October 1, 2025 at 6:32 PM
With box office revenues falling, Hollywood could boost profits by combining popular genres. My idea? A violent mafia film that's also a heartwarming kids' movie; A toddler is appointed boss of the mafia. The kid slowly teaches the mobsters to have fun and they start doing murders more playfully ❤️
US fan behaviour at the Ryder Cup is being criticised so here are some milder insults to yell at rival golfers:
- "You don't always safely eject USB devices”
- “You wrote a blog post claiming the final Game of Thrones season was very satisfying"
- “You know little about Ottoman Empire trade routes"
- "You don't always safely eject USB devices”
- “You wrote a blog post claiming the final Game of Thrones season was very satisfying"
- “You know little about Ottoman Empire trade routes"
September 28, 2025 at 2:47 PM
US fan behaviour at the Ryder Cup is being criticised so here are some milder insults to yell at rival golfers:
- "You don't always safely eject USB devices”
- “You wrote a blog post claiming the final Game of Thrones season was very satisfying"
- “You know little about Ottoman Empire trade routes"
- "You don't always safely eject USB devices”
- “You wrote a blog post claiming the final Game of Thrones season was very satisfying"
- “You know little about Ottoman Empire trade routes"
There's a lot of conspiracy theories about why Kieran Culkin looks so much taller in Succession than he does in Home Alone. Some say camera angles, others say CGI or a secret doppelganger and I respect those views. But, for me, it's more likely down to a simple case of good old-fashioned witchcraft.
September 25, 2025 at 6:55 PM
There's a lot of conspiracy theories about why Kieran Culkin looks so much taller in Succession than he does in Home Alone. Some say camera angles, others say CGI or a secret doppelganger and I respect those views. But, for me, it's more likely down to a simple case of good old-fashioned witchcraft.
The question I get asked most frequently is, "Michael, what is your opinion of the Wikipedia page on doors?" Well, here are my full and honest thoughts
September 23, 2025 at 6:21 PM
The question I get asked most frequently is, "Michael, what is your opinion of the Wikipedia page on doors?" Well, here are my full and honest thoughts
My one criticism of Premier League footballers? The lack of imagination when exchanging souvenirs after games. They only ever swap shirts. Show some imagination, guys. Give your opponent a gift voucher for a local butcher shop. Learn woodworking and carve them a lovely doorstop. Show them you care ❤️
September 21, 2025 at 5:36 PM
My one criticism of Premier League footballers? The lack of imagination when exchanging souvenirs after games. They only ever swap shirts. Show some imagination, guys. Give your opponent a gift voucher for a local butcher shop. Learn woodworking and carve them a lovely doorstop. Show them you care ❤️
Reposted by Sir Michael
Please stop casting evil spells on me. It’s mean and it hurts my feelings
September 19, 2025 at 2:13 AM
Please stop casting evil spells on me. It’s mean and it hurts my feelings
Reposted by Sir Michael
Comedy gold, I promise you, read it and weep tears of joy
Never forget the time I had to contact my local costume shop on Facebook. The last-minute hospital pass by David to Sonya is exquisite.
September 17, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Comedy gold, I promise you, read it and weep tears of joy
Never forget the time I had to contact my local costume shop on Facebook. The last-minute hospital pass by David to Sonya is exquisite.
September 17, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Never forget the time I had to contact my local costume shop on Facebook. The last-minute hospital pass by David to Sonya is exquisite.
Just wanted to jump and register my Champions League predictions ahead of the big kick-off. Hope I don't end up with egg on my face! 🙈
Winners: Not sure yet
Runners-Up: Too tough to call
Dark Horse Team: I don't know
Underachieving Team: No idea. Could be anyone
Top Scorer: Impossible to tell
Winners: Not sure yet
Runners-Up: Too tough to call
Dark Horse Team: I don't know
Underachieving Team: No idea. Could be anyone
Top Scorer: Impossible to tell
September 16, 2025 at 3:26 PM
Just wanted to jump and register my Champions League predictions ahead of the big kick-off. Hope I don't end up with egg on my face! 🙈
Winners: Not sure yet
Runners-Up: Too tough to call
Dark Horse Team: I don't know
Underachieving Team: No idea. Could be anyone
Top Scorer: Impossible to tell
Winners: Not sure yet
Runners-Up: Too tough to call
Dark Horse Team: I don't know
Underachieving Team: No idea. Could be anyone
Top Scorer: Impossible to tell
My performance evaluation for the captain of the Titanic
September 13, 2025 at 7:40 PM
My performance evaluation for the captain of the Titanic