Yeah it just mean I can't do any other cons and it's kinda bothering me Tbh.

And yeah I get it sleeping between eleven pm and seven am is abnormal at a con but this is what I've always been like and it's only more essential to my health to keep a normal schedule regardless of where I am.

Otherwise cons are just... Awful for me.

I'm fucking TIRED and I didn't DO anything today.

And it's like, none of this will ever resolve itself. The world will never get un-fucked to some degree. I'll never be cured of this illness. All I can do is find ways to cope. Cope and seethe and be miserable and try to hide it but obviously if I'm making a post about it I'm not hiding it very well

It's a wonder I don't drink, smoke, or some other way of coping. I just distract myself with photos, with porn, with movies I've seen a hundred times. I spent all day inside today despite feeling okay, when last Monday I wanted to go somewhere and felt like shit.

Today I just didn't have the spoons

I'll prolly do more of ya just haven't had time yet :)

And that's why I went in today instead of telling them to fuck off, because I felt like I was obligated to.

But eventually maybe my health will force me to say no.

I can't even acknowledge that maybe I have a right to these two WFH days because a medical professional urged me to split the difference instead of going back full time and still has my back on that.

I feel like I'm cheating because I have an "accommodation" beyond the usual and I don't deserve it.