simple nitwit
@simplenitwit.bsky.social
A long time ago I was slacks_stacks on Twitter. I lost and grew back an entire toenail during the pandemic.
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tried asking the town oracle for guidance but he's in one of those "arguing with a tree" moods
June 16, 2025 at 3:57 AM
tried asking the town oracle for guidance but he's in one of those "arguing with a tree" moods
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put a slice of havarti in the CD player. thought i’d give the mates a laugh. played the most beautiful song i’d ever heard
June 16, 2025 at 1:25 AM
put a slice of havarti in the CD player. thought i’d give the mates a laugh. played the most beautiful song i’d ever heard
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Making coffee consumes 5 ENERGY. You currently have 4 ENERGY. Are you sure?
You have been knocked out.
You have been knocked out.
April 21, 2025 at 12:11 PM
Making coffee consumes 5 ENERGY. You currently have 4 ENERGY. Are you sure?
You have been knocked out.
You have been knocked out.
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The anthropomorphic gingivitis monsters from toothpaste commercials are real. I just watched a pack of them drag a horse into a storm drain
April 7, 2025 at 3:02 PM
The anthropomorphic gingivitis monsters from toothpaste commercials are real. I just watched a pack of them drag a horse into a storm drain
Currently trying to find a better home for my art page than IG or FB so I’ve created one here and we’ll see how it goes :) @cjklassen.bsky.social
January 23, 2025 at 9:06 AM
Currently trying to find a better home for my art page than IG or FB so I’ve created one here and we’ll see how it goes :) @cjklassen.bsky.social
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A sandwich sandwiched between 2 other sandwiches is called a Cubic Sandwich and is illegal to make or even think about
January 15, 2025 at 6:32 PM
A sandwich sandwiched between 2 other sandwiches is called a Cubic Sandwich and is illegal to make or even think about
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it is vegan to put a little saddle on a lobster
January 15, 2025 at 6:38 AM
it is vegan to put a little saddle on a lobster
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Still can't find my post where I said something about motha lickas but that's fine I'm going to go do something off my phone for a bit like rummage through bins or seek closure from an old flame
January 13, 2025 at 10:49 PM
Still can't find my post where I said something about motha lickas but that's fine I'm going to go do something off my phone for a bit like rummage through bins or seek closure from an old flame
Quite a day today, I saw my first free-roaming cybertruck, and nabbed a blueberry the size of a toonie
January 12, 2025 at 6:23 AM
Quite a day today, I saw my first free-roaming cybertruck, and nabbed a blueberry the size of a toonie
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i am not for everyone i am for like, five people and i apologize to them constantly
December 29, 2024 at 2:45 PM
i am not for everyone i am for like, five people and i apologize to them constantly
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If you've ever been pressured into joining a standing ovation, get up and clap
December 20, 2024 at 9:34 PM
If you've ever been pressured into joining a standing ovation, get up and clap
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explaining to people why i'm sticky before they ask me
December 14, 2024 at 7:32 PM
explaining to people why i'm sticky before they ask me
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im starting a business where some guys come and pump your walls full of bees
December 1, 2024 at 9:19 PM
im starting a business where some guys come and pump your walls full of bees
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When you're good friends with doomsday preppers and they ask you to bring 10-12 cans of beans to friendsgiving
November 28, 2024 at 3:12 AM
When you're good friends with doomsday preppers and they ask you to bring 10-12 cans of beans to friendsgiving
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A cybertruck passed the bus I’m on and everyone booed which didn’t help anything but felt pretty good
November 22, 2024 at 5:09 PM
A cybertruck passed the bus I’m on and everyone booed which didn’t help anything but felt pretty good
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My kids are convinced Diet Cokes will give me early onset Alzheimer’s but who even are these kids
May 22, 2024 at 10:52 AM
My kids are convinced Diet Cokes will give me early onset Alzheimer’s but who even are these kids
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Thrilled to get this book signed today
March 13, 2024 at 6:31 PM
Thrilled to get this book signed today
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Not trying to tell you your business but it's time to change that poultice
October 11, 2024 at 3:58 PM
Not trying to tell you your business but it's time to change that poultice
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*massaging temples, eyes closed* be a dear and fetch my Dr. Gnarly Goblin Elixir™
October 9, 2024 at 6:46 PM
*massaging temples, eyes closed* be a dear and fetch my Dr. Gnarly Goblin Elixir™
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i bet being a frenchfry going into the hot oil feels good for a sec
September 29, 2024 at 8:37 PM
i bet being a frenchfry going into the hot oil feels good for a sec
Just found out all my friends have been eating dirt
October 10, 2024 at 2:20 AM
Just found out all my friends have been eating dirt
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POV you’re cleaning out your parents house and get to your mother’s art room
September 23, 2024 at 2:11 AM
POV you’re cleaning out your parents house and get to your mother’s art room