Selena Maranjian
@selenamaranjian.bsky.social
Woman worrier, over-judger, catastrophist, cautiously optimistic, order Muppet. Love books, great TV, wooden jigsaw puzzles, and modern board games. Longtime (contract) writer for The Motley Fool. Sharing some humor to help us deal with stress. She/her.
Pinned
Like #funny things, left-leaning #politics, #photography, #maps, #books, #boardgames, #TV, mammatus #clouds, #investing, #business, #nature, #art, #miscellany, #stocks, #quotes, Oxford commas, and #quirky stuff? Follow me. #FF (If you have like-minded followers, reshare? Thanks!)
RT:
@stevesilberman
I was on the phone with Apple support for a long time today, so I asked the guy (who was very nice and solved my problem) where he was speaking from geographically. "I'm in Saskatchewan," he said, "where it's so flat, you can watch your dog walk away from you for weeks."
@stevesilberman
I was on the phone with Apple support for a long time today, so I asked the guy (who was very nice and solved my problem) where he was speaking from geographically. "I'm in Saskatchewan," he said, "where it's so flat, you can watch your dog walk away from you for weeks."
November 11, 2025 at 5:20 PM
RT:
@stevesilberman
I was on the phone with Apple support for a long time today, so I asked the guy (who was very nice and solved my problem) where he was speaking from geographically. "I'm in Saskatchewan," he said, "where it's so flat, you can watch your dog walk away from you for weeks."
@stevesilberman
I was on the phone with Apple support for a long time today, so I asked the guy (who was very nice and solved my problem) where he was speaking from geographically. "I'm in Saskatchewan," he said, "where it's so flat, you can watch your dog walk away from you for weeks."
Clever posts of yore:
@amishschool
Wife asks me to grab her a spoon and makes a helpful spooning motion so I don't return with bowling pins or a goat.
@mommajessiec
Making a password as a teen: dolphinsarecool
Making a password as an adult: Dolphinsarecool!2
@amishschool
Wife asks me to grab her a spoon and makes a helpful spooning motion so I don't return with bowling pins or a goat.
@mommajessiec
Making a password as a teen: dolphinsarecool
Making a password as an adult: Dolphinsarecool!2
November 11, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@amishschool
Wife asks me to grab her a spoon and makes a helpful spooning motion so I don't return with bowling pins or a goat.
@mommajessiec
Making a password as a teen: dolphinsarecool
Making a password as an adult: Dolphinsarecool!2
@amishschool
Wife asks me to grab her a spoon and makes a helpful spooning motion so I don't return with bowling pins or a goat.
@mommajessiec
Making a password as a teen: dolphinsarecool
Making a password as an adult: Dolphinsarecool!2
Clever posts of yore:
@MelvinofYork
Establish a tactical advantage when meeting someone for the first time by saying "great to see you again"
@elle91
Next generation Monopoly pieces:
-Croc
-Fedora
-Prius
-iPhone
-Starbucks cup
-A thimble because we've made very little progress in that area
@MelvinofYork
Establish a tactical advantage when meeting someone for the first time by saying "great to see you again"
@elle91
Next generation Monopoly pieces:
-Croc
-Fedora
-Prius
-iPhone
-Starbucks cup
-A thimble because we've made very little progress in that area
November 11, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@MelvinofYork
Establish a tactical advantage when meeting someone for the first time by saying "great to see you again"
@elle91
Next generation Monopoly pieces:
-Croc
-Fedora
-Prius
-iPhone
-Starbucks cup
-A thimble because we've made very little progress in that area
@MelvinofYork
Establish a tactical advantage when meeting someone for the first time by saying "great to see you again"
@elle91
Next generation Monopoly pieces:
-Croc
-Fedora
-Prius
-iPhone
-Starbucks cup
-A thimble because we've made very little progress in that area
2 posts of yore:
@ezmoneyjones_
A convicted felon was just reelected president. There's no rules anymore. I've started pronouncing the L in salmon
@dysolution
You all said I was crazy to save all these soy sauce packets. How's your post-apocalyptic squirrel? Oh, what's that? NEEDS A LITTLE SALT?
@ezmoneyjones_
A convicted felon was just reelected president. There's no rules anymore. I've started pronouncing the L in salmon
@dysolution
You all said I was crazy to save all these soy sauce packets. How's your post-apocalyptic squirrel? Oh, what's that? NEEDS A LITTLE SALT?
November 11, 2025 at 5:19 PM
2 posts of yore:
@ezmoneyjones_
A convicted felon was just reelected president. There's no rules anymore. I've started pronouncing the L in salmon
@dysolution
You all said I was crazy to save all these soy sauce packets. How's your post-apocalyptic squirrel? Oh, what's that? NEEDS A LITTLE SALT?
@ezmoneyjones_
A convicted felon was just reelected president. There's no rules anymore. I've started pronouncing the L in salmon
@dysolution
You all said I was crazy to save all these soy sauce packets. How's your post-apocalyptic squirrel? Oh, what's that? NEEDS A LITTLE SALT?
Clever posts of yore:
@shopkins776
If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me the other .0005% of the time
@AnthroOmri
We memorized phone numbers. We memorized driving directions. No one knew what we looked like. No one could reach us. We were gods.
@shopkins776
If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me the other .0005% of the time
@AnthroOmri
We memorized phone numbers. We memorized driving directions. No one knew what we looked like. No one could reach us. We were gods.
November 11, 2025 at 5:18 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@shopkins776
If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me the other .0005% of the time
@AnthroOmri
We memorized phone numbers. We memorized driving directions. No one knew what we looked like. No one could reach us. We were gods.
@shopkins776
If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me the other .0005% of the time
@AnthroOmri
We memorized phone numbers. We memorized driving directions. No one knew what we looked like. No one could reach us. We were gods.
November 11, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Reposted by Selena Maranjian
There’s still time to call senators. Let me explain. Sorry not sorry about the cat. He’s also really upset about this deal.
November 10, 2025 at 8:07 PM
There’s still time to call senators. Let me explain. Sorry not sorry about the cat. He’s also really upset about this deal.
Reposted by Selena Maranjian
1000%. 5Calls is a great resource for those of us with phone anxiety. They have a list of issues, provide your reps along with their phone numbers, and provide a script. You legitimately only have to read the script; the staffers will thank you for your call and document it, and...that's it!
Hey so I know most of us hate calling literally anyone, but doing things like calling your representatives or these credit card companies really is important and it DOES make a difference.
We had a big day yesterday and we've shown we can make change, even when it feels hopeless.
Keep it going.
We had a big day yesterday and we've shown we can make change, even when it feels hopeless.
Keep it going.
November 5, 2025 at 3:11 PM
1000%. 5Calls is a great resource for those of us with phone anxiety. They have a list of issues, provide your reps along with their phone numbers, and provide a script. You legitimately only have to read the script; the staffers will thank you for your call and document it, and...that's it!
Reposted by Selena Maranjian
I just used 5calls to do this too. It's easy, and even if the rumors of capitulation are only rumors, it helps to voice your opposition so they know we want them to hold the line.
I just called my senators to tell them not to vote for a blank check deal on the shutdown. You can can find your reps’ phone numbers using @5calls.org 5calls.org
5 Calls
Spend 5 minutes. Make 5 calls. Make your voice heard.
5calls.org
November 9, 2025 at 10:03 PM
I just used 5calls to do this too. It's easy, and even if the rumors of capitulation are only rumors, it helps to voice your opposition so they know we want them to hold the line.
On Twitter, someone noted that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has a "line that gets the crowd to go wild":
“When people accuse us of pushing the party left, we are not pushing the party left -- we are bringing the party home.”
#AOC #democrats #democracy
“When people accuse us of pushing the party left, we are not pushing the party left -- we are bringing the party home.”
#AOC #democrats #democracy
November 10, 2025 at 5:37 PM
On Twitter, someone noted that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has a "line that gets the crowd to go wild":
“When people accuse us of pushing the party left, we are not pushing the party left -- we are bringing the party home.”
#AOC #democrats #democracy
“When people accuse us of pushing the party left, we are not pushing the party left -- we are bringing the party home.”
#AOC #democrats #democracy
November 10, 2025 at 5:36 PM
RT:
@adamcsharp
‘He thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips’ around the world:
4. He thinks he’s the Pope’s head mustard-maker (French)
3. He enjoys being looked at like a long-haired goat (Zulu)
2. He’s high on the pear (Norwegian)
1. If he was chocolate, he’d eat himself (Hiberno-English)
@adamcsharp
‘He thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips’ around the world:
4. He thinks he’s the Pope’s head mustard-maker (French)
3. He enjoys being looked at like a long-haired goat (Zulu)
2. He’s high on the pear (Norwegian)
1. If he was chocolate, he’d eat himself (Hiberno-English)
November 10, 2025 at 5:34 PM
RT:
@adamcsharp
‘He thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips’ around the world:
4. He thinks he’s the Pope’s head mustard-maker (French)
3. He enjoys being looked at like a long-haired goat (Zulu)
2. He’s high on the pear (Norwegian)
1. If he was chocolate, he’d eat himself (Hiberno-English)
@adamcsharp
‘He thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips’ around the world:
4. He thinks he’s the Pope’s head mustard-maker (French)
3. He enjoys being looked at like a long-haired goat (Zulu)
2. He’s high on the pear (Norwegian)
1. If he was chocolate, he’d eat himself (Hiberno-English)
Clever posts of yore:
@HowtoDad
The next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say, "Now you're SUPER ANGRY!" Maybe she'll laugh. Maybe you'll die.
@BetteMidler
Trump is supposed to meet with Putin tomorrow. Probably for his first annual performance review
@HowtoDad
The next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say, "Now you're SUPER ANGRY!" Maybe she'll laugh. Maybe you'll die.
@BetteMidler
Trump is supposed to meet with Putin tomorrow. Probably for his first annual performance review
November 10, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@HowtoDad
The next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say, "Now you're SUPER ANGRY!" Maybe she'll laugh. Maybe you'll die.
@BetteMidler
Trump is supposed to meet with Putin tomorrow. Probably for his first annual performance review
@HowtoDad
The next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say, "Now you're SUPER ANGRY!" Maybe she'll laugh. Maybe you'll die.
@BetteMidler
Trump is supposed to meet with Putin tomorrow. Probably for his first annual performance review
Clever posts of yore:
@Home_Halfway
Meteor Headed Toward Earth; Citizens Rolling Out Red Carpet
@vickishirk
Stephen Colbert just said, "The red wave was more like a pink splash- kinda like when you accidentally wash your klan robe with your maga hat"
@Home_Halfway
Meteor Headed Toward Earth; Citizens Rolling Out Red Carpet
@vickishirk
Stephen Colbert just said, "The red wave was more like a pink splash- kinda like when you accidentally wash your klan robe with your maga hat"
November 10, 2025 at 5:32 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@Home_Halfway
Meteor Headed Toward Earth; Citizens Rolling Out Red Carpet
@vickishirk
Stephen Colbert just said, "The red wave was more like a pink splash- kinda like when you accidentally wash your klan robe with your maga hat"
@Home_Halfway
Meteor Headed Toward Earth; Citizens Rolling Out Red Carpet
@vickishirk
Stephen Colbert just said, "The red wave was more like a pink splash- kinda like when you accidentally wash your klan robe with your maga hat"
Clever posts of yore:
@rocketfantastic
Woke up in a state with a lesbian governor. My hair feels shorter. My boots seem shinier. The birds are singing Joan Armatrading.
@samgreis
Chuck Grassley, born originally on Pangea, will serve 6 more years in the senate.
@rocketfantastic
Woke up in a state with a lesbian governor. My hair feels shorter. My boots seem shinier. The birds are singing Joan Armatrading.
@samgreis
Chuck Grassley, born originally on Pangea, will serve 6 more years in the senate.
November 9, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@rocketfantastic
Woke up in a state with a lesbian governor. My hair feels shorter. My boots seem shinier. The birds are singing Joan Armatrading.
@samgreis
Chuck Grassley, born originally on Pangea, will serve 6 more years in the senate.
@rocketfantastic
Woke up in a state with a lesbian governor. My hair feels shorter. My boots seem shinier. The birds are singing Joan Armatrading.
@samgreis
Chuck Grassley, born originally on Pangea, will serve 6 more years in the senate.
Clever posts of yore:
@netspencer
"Why did the hipster burn his tongue?" "Because he drank his tea before it was cool"
@mommajessiec
I’ve never dated two people at the same time, but I once was having a conversation with my husband about saving money as the #Amazon man was dropping off a package
@netspencer
"Why did the hipster burn his tongue?" "Because he drank his tea before it was cool"
@mommajessiec
I’ve never dated two people at the same time, but I once was having a conversation with my husband about saving money as the #Amazon man was dropping off a package
November 9, 2025 at 8:02 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@netspencer
"Why did the hipster burn his tongue?" "Because he drank his tea before it was cool"
@mommajessiec
I’ve never dated two people at the same time, but I once was having a conversation with my husband about saving money as the #Amazon man was dropping off a package
@netspencer
"Why did the hipster burn his tongue?" "Because he drank his tea before it was cool"
@mommajessiec
I’ve never dated two people at the same time, but I once was having a conversation with my husband about saving money as the #Amazon man was dropping off a package
Posts of yore:
@Chhapiness
It’s almost corduroy season, I can hear it coming
@JadeChynoweth
Him:
How is it possible your still single?
Me:
You’re*
@thetweetofgod
#VeteransDay is a day to honor the brave Americans who fought for the values America just decided weren't all that worth fighting for.
@Chhapiness
It’s almost corduroy season, I can hear it coming
@JadeChynoweth
Him:
How is it possible your still single?
Me:
You’re*
@thetweetofgod
#VeteransDay is a day to honor the brave Americans who fought for the values America just decided weren't all that worth fighting for.
November 9, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Posts of yore:
@Chhapiness
It’s almost corduroy season, I can hear it coming
@JadeChynoweth
Him:
How is it possible your still single?
Me:
You’re*
@thetweetofgod
#VeteransDay is a day to honor the brave Americans who fought for the values America just decided weren't all that worth fighting for.
@Chhapiness
It’s almost corduroy season, I can hear it coming
@JadeChynoweth
Him:
How is it possible your still single?
Me:
You’re*
@thetweetofgod
#VeteransDay is a day to honor the brave Americans who fought for the values America just decided weren't all that worth fighting for.
Clever posts of yore:
@jordan_stratton
I love when Daylight Savings ends. There’s nothing quite like watching a beautiful sunset during my lunch break
@danagould
Have you noticed that all the “free thinkers” have the same opinions?
@jordan_stratton
I love when Daylight Savings ends. There’s nothing quite like watching a beautiful sunset during my lunch break
@danagould
Have you noticed that all the “free thinkers” have the same opinions?
November 8, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@jordan_stratton
I love when Daylight Savings ends. There’s nothing quite like watching a beautiful sunset during my lunch break
@danagould
Have you noticed that all the “free thinkers” have the same opinions?
@jordan_stratton
I love when Daylight Savings ends. There’s nothing quite like watching a beautiful sunset during my lunch break
@danagould
Have you noticed that all the “free thinkers” have the same opinions?
Clever posts of yore:
@AbbyHasIssues
I ate dinner 10 minutes later than normal today. Is this dieting? I can't live like this
@BenjaminEPark
I swear #Florida could be voting between ice cream and a kick to the head and the results would be 50.5%-49.5%
@susanorleans
There is simply too much news
@AbbyHasIssues
I ate dinner 10 minutes later than normal today. Is this dieting? I can't live like this
@BenjaminEPark
I swear #Florida could be voting between ice cream and a kick to the head and the results would be 50.5%-49.5%
@susanorleans
There is simply too much news
November 8, 2025 at 5:37 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@AbbyHasIssues
I ate dinner 10 minutes later than normal today. Is this dieting? I can't live like this
@BenjaminEPark
I swear #Florida could be voting between ice cream and a kick to the head and the results would be 50.5%-49.5%
@susanorleans
There is simply too much news
@AbbyHasIssues
I ate dinner 10 minutes later than normal today. Is this dieting? I can't live like this
@BenjaminEPark
I swear #Florida could be voting between ice cream and a kick to the head and the results would be 50.5%-49.5%
@susanorleans
There is simply too much news
Clever posts of yore:
@RoobsC
9: Mama I need your birthday for a school project
Me: 12/07/84
9: 18 or 19?
Me: what do you mean?
9: 1884 or 1984?
@JeffMyspace
When I was growing up I always loved making sandcastles with my grandmother, at least until mom started hiding the urn.
#oops #birthday
@RoobsC
9: Mama I need your birthday for a school project
Me: 12/07/84
9: 18 or 19?
Me: what do you mean?
9: 1884 or 1984?
@JeffMyspace
When I was growing up I always loved making sandcastles with my grandmother, at least until mom started hiding the urn.
#oops #birthday
November 8, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Clever posts of yore:
@justinshanes
SHE SAID YES!!!!!!!! (the chicken tikka does come with jasmine rice)
@elle91
One day I hope I'm lucky enough to find someone who can't find anyone better.
@thealexnevil
I’ve started exercising agai—okay I’m done.
#exercise #health #lucky #dating
@justinshanes
SHE SAID YES!!!!!!!! (the chicken tikka does come with jasmine rice)
@elle91
One day I hope I'm lucky enough to find someone who can't find anyone better.
@thealexnevil
I’ve started exercising agai—okay I’m done.
#exercise #health #lucky #dating
November 8, 2025 at 5:33 PM