Secret Calendar
@secretcalendar.bsky.social
Rejoining the EU would be unprecedented, but don’t let that stop you telling us how long the wait will be. Have you got a Secret Calendar in your, err, head that no one else can see? Share your informed take and I’ll stick it here!
What Sir Keir says:
- We can’t do anything: it’s my red lines
What Tracey hears:
- People are going to riot if we join a Customs Union
- We must appease the rioters
- We can’t do anything: it’s my red lines
What Tracey hears:
- People are going to riot if we join a Customs Union
- We must appease the rioters
December 5, 2025 at 9:13 AM
What Sir Keir says:
- We can’t do anything: it’s my red lines
What Tracey hears:
- People are going to riot if we join a Customs Union
- We must appease the rioters
- We can’t do anything: it’s my red lines
What Tracey hears:
- People are going to riot if we join a Customs Union
- We must appease the rioters
Not before December 2035 says Northbhoy’s #secretcalendar.
December 4, 2025 at 10:11 AM
Not before December 2035 says Northbhoy’s #secretcalendar.
Finland joined the EU in less than three years but James’ #secretcalendar says we won’t be able to join the Customs Union in the three years and eight months until the election. Sorry.
December 4, 2025 at 8:42 AM
Finland joined the EU in less than three years but James’ #secretcalendar says we won’t be able to join the Customs Union in the three years and eight months until the election. Sorry.
The moment Lee Anderson split the atom and Nathan Gill got the late Joseph Stalin to enter the Pacific theatre (спасибо, товарищ!), the game was up really.☹️
December 4, 2025 at 8:34 AM
The moment Lee Anderson split the atom and Nathan Gill got the late Joseph Stalin to enter the Pacific theatre (спасибо, товарищ!), the game was up really.☹️
None of this wishy-washy “not in my lifetime” weak sauce for Thomas, whose #secretcalendar says simply “Never”.
December 2, 2025 at 2:51 PM
None of this wishy-washy “not in my lifetime” weak sauce for Thomas, whose #secretcalendar says simply “Never”.
The last (& only) government to take us out lost 250 seats at the subsequent election but apparently people are lining up to have another go.
December 2, 2025 at 11:46 AM
The last (& only) government to take us out lost 250 seats at the subsequent election but apparently people are lining up to have another go.
Someone really needs to unblock the Wikipedia page on ‘EU policy of the Maltese Labour Party in 2003’.
December 2, 2025 at 11:43 AM
Someone really needs to unblock the Wikipedia page on ‘EU policy of the Maltese Labour Party in 2003’.
Always surprises me that anyone could survey the last nine years and conclude: “bet they can’t wait to have another bash at that!” But they keep on coming!
December 1, 2025 at 6:32 PM
Always surprises me that anyone could survey the last nine years and conclude: “bet they can’t wait to have another bash at that!” But they keep on coming!
Several decades, if at all, reckons fern’s #secretcalendar.
December 1, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Several decades, if at all, reckons fern’s #secretcalendar.
Norway applied to the EU in November 1992 and would have joined in January 1995 if its 52/48 😬 referendum had gone the other way. Bryan’s #secretcalendar says ‘decades’ for us, though.
#rejoinEU 🤝 #makingbrexitwork
#rejoinEU 🤝 #makingbrexitwork
November 28, 2025 at 10:44 AM
Norway applied to the EU in November 1992 and would have joined in January 1995 if its 52/48 😬 referendum had gone the other way. Bryan’s #secretcalendar says ‘decades’ for us, though.
#rejoinEU 🤝 #makingbrexitwork
#rejoinEU 🤝 #makingbrexitwork
Anyway, back to the good stuff- not before 2050, says Portentious’ #secretcalendar.
November 28, 2025 at 10:36 AM
Anyway, back to the good stuff- not before 2050, says Portentious’ #secretcalendar.
Sounds like James is jealous of all the people who’ve got a #secretcalendar up their, err, sleeve which tells them how long it will take.
November 28, 2025 at 10:34 AM
Sounds like James is jealous of all the people who’ve got a #secretcalendar up their, err, sleeve which tells them how long it will take.
Politicians just can’t wait to uncork the electoral magic of the 2019-2024 government that lost them 250 MPs!
November 27, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Politicians just can’t wait to uncork the electoral magic of the 2019-2024 government that lost them 250 MPs!
Begging people to google “Is Poland in the Euro?”
#secretredlines
#secretredlines
November 27, 2025 at 8:04 PM
Begging people to google “Is Poland in the Euro?”
#secretredlines
#secretredlines
All this AI everywhere and still there’s no way to find out if Poland, Czechia and Sweden are in the Euro- please sort it out, Mr Gates!
#secretredlines
#secretredlines
November 25, 2025 at 8:14 PM
All this AI everywhere and still there’s no way to find out if Poland, Czechia and Sweden are in the Euro- please sort it out, Mr Gates!
#secretredlines
#secretredlines
“It took 4 years (sic) to leave, you can probably…
*spins wheel*
…double that to rejoin, of not more.”
*spins wheel*
…double that to rejoin, of not more.”
November 22, 2025 at 8:22 PM
“It took 4 years (sic) to leave, you can probably…
*spins wheel*
…double that to rejoin, of not more.”
*spins wheel*
…double that to rejoin, of not more.”
From Rafael Behr today:
November 19, 2025 at 11:28 AM
From Rafael Behr today:
Let’s say we’re losing only 4% (rather than NBER’s estimated 6-8%) of GDP due to this escapade. How much of it are Starmer’s ‘great strides’ getting back, because there’s little sign of anything much at present?
November 19, 2025 at 9:37 AM
Let’s say we’re losing only 4% (rather than NBER’s estimated 6-8%) of GDP due to this escapade. How much of it are Starmer’s ‘great strides’ getting back, because there’s little sign of anything much at present?
We invoked Article 50 in March 2017, so it took us about 2 years and 10 months to leave- a bit longer than Finland took to join and eight months quicker than Sweden did.
No one’s ever rejoined, but Philip’s #secretcalendar is still prepared to have a bash with “MUCH harder”. Bravo!
No one’s ever rejoined, but Philip’s #secretcalendar is still prepared to have a bash with “MUCH harder”. Bravo!
November 16, 2025 at 11:55 AM
We invoked Article 50 in March 2017, so it took us about 2 years and 10 months to leave- a bit longer than Finland took to join and eight months quicker than Sweden did.
No one’s ever rejoined, but Philip’s #secretcalendar is still prepared to have a bash with “MUCH harder”. Bravo!
No one’s ever rejoined, but Philip’s #secretcalendar is still prepared to have a bash with “MUCH harder”. Bravo!
The domestic political advantage secured by the only ever govt to manage this was sucking a big chunk of growth out of the economy & losing 250 MPs at the subsequent general election. No one’s trying that again.
Even *staying* outside has knocked about 15 points of the current govt’s vote share.
Even *staying* outside has knocked about 15 points of the current govt’s vote share.
November 15, 2025 at 4:21 PM
The domestic political advantage secured by the only ever govt to manage this was sucking a big chunk of growth out of the economy & losing 250 MPs at the subsequent general election. No one’s trying that again.
Even *staying* outside has knocked about 15 points of the current govt’s vote share.
Even *staying* outside has knocked about 15 points of the current govt’s vote share.
November 14, 2025 at 2:00 PM
One day BlueSky will find out about the 47/53, 52/48 and 54/46 post-negotiation referendums in Norway, Sweden and Malta, but it isn’t today.
November 14, 2025 at 1:59 PM
One day BlueSky will find out about the 47/53, 52/48 and 54/46 post-negotiation referendums in Norway, Sweden and Malta, but it isn’t today.
Big day in Eastern Europe as the discovery that there’s a queue means lots of countries will have to leave until Turkey joins.☹️
November 14, 2025 at 1:57 PM
Big day in Eastern Europe as the discovery that there’s a queue means lots of countries will have to leave until Turkey joins.☹️
“Not until Farage and his ilk are long gone” says Johnny’s #secretcalendar. George Finch is 18, so I’m going to go with 2107?
November 11, 2025 at 9:17 AM
“Not until Farage and his ilk are long gone” says Johnny’s #secretcalendar. George Finch is 18, so I’m going to go with 2107?