Secretary of Balloon Doggies
@secballoondogs.bsky.social
I didn’t ask to be Secretary of Balloon Doggies, the balloon doggies demanded it!
I’ve had difficulty finding gynecologists willing to perform tubal ligation on childless female patients over 30. The idea anyone is doing sex reassignment surgery on children under anything but the most extreme circumstances is ridiculous.
November 29, 2025 at 3:41 AM
I’ve had difficulty finding gynecologists willing to perform tubal ligation on childless female patients over 30. The idea anyone is doing sex reassignment surgery on children under anything but the most extreme circumstances is ridiculous.
I notice the announcement does not mention an exception for intersex patients. I wonder if that’s intentional. A lot of transphobia has been spilling over into attacks on intersex individuals (as we saw during the last Olympics).
November 29, 2025 at 3:35 AM
I notice the announcement does not mention an exception for intersex patients. I wonder if that’s intentional. A lot of transphobia has been spilling over into attacks on intersex individuals (as we saw during the last Olympics).
I’m just asking for clarification.
November 29, 2025 at 3:28 AM
I’m just asking for clarification.
The statement seems to indicate this only applies to patients under 18.
November 29, 2025 at 2:44 AM
The statement seems to indicate this only applies to patients under 18.
This motherfucker couldn’t find Afghanistan on a map of Afghanistan.
November 28, 2025 at 7:08 PM
This motherfucker couldn’t find Afghanistan on a map of Afghanistan.
I saw video of National Guard patrolling the subway stop for the Smithsonian! Absolutely ridiculous waste of taxpayer dollars.
November 28, 2025 at 6:41 AM
I saw video of National Guard patrolling the subway stop for the Smithsonian! Absolutely ridiculous waste of taxpayer dollars.
We did that in California years ago.
November 26, 2025 at 5:32 PM
We did that in California years ago.
Ironically, his ex, Kathryn Bigelow, has a career steeped in toxic masculinity.
November 23, 2025 at 6:58 PM
Ironically, his ex, Kathryn Bigelow, has a career steeped in toxic masculinity.
Oh, I definitely saw that coming.
November 22, 2025 at 3:21 AM
Oh, I definitely saw that coming.
Maybe this is to accommodate a surprisingly large number of Hindu recruits in the Coast Guard?
a drag queen says " you never know " in front of a purple background
ALT: a drag queen says " you never know " in front of a purple background
media.tenor.com
November 20, 2025 at 9:26 PM
Maybe this is to accommodate a surprisingly large number of Hindu recruits in the Coast Guard?
Well, it’s not like these numbers are important to financial industry or something.
November 20, 2025 at 9:16 PM
Well, it’s not like these numbers are important to financial industry or something.
Google could also inform them that Mamdani is not an Arab.
November 20, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Google could also inform them that Mamdani is not an Arab.
Why is Iceland not on there? Everyone there speaks English. A random gas station attendant I encountered in Reykjavik spoke flawless English.
November 20, 2025 at 2:46 PM
Why is Iceland not on there? Everyone there speaks English. A random gas station attendant I encountered in Reykjavik spoke flawless English.
Liberal: I would like a cheese pizza.
MAGA: That’s a secret code for child porn you sicko!
Ted Nugent: Here’s a song I wrote about how I enjoy raping 13 year olds.
MAGA: You go, patriot!
MAGA: That’s a secret code for child porn you sicko!
Ted Nugent: Here’s a song I wrote about how I enjoy raping 13 year olds.
MAGA: You go, patriot!
November 20, 2025 at 7:36 AM
Liberal: I would like a cheese pizza.
MAGA: That’s a secret code for child porn you sicko!
Ted Nugent: Here’s a song I wrote about how I enjoy raping 13 year olds.
MAGA: You go, patriot!
MAGA: That’s a secret code for child porn you sicko!
Ted Nugent: Here’s a song I wrote about how I enjoy raping 13 year olds.
MAGA: You go, patriot!
Apparently not disciplined enough.
November 20, 2025 at 7:27 AM
Apparently not disciplined enough.
Current husband is a UFO researcher. She obviously has a fettish for pseudoscience.
November 19, 2025 at 9:34 PM
Current husband is a UFO researcher. She obviously has a fettish for pseudoscience.
Unfortunately, fascists have the ability to weaponize incompetence. Contrary to popular depiction, Nazi Germany was actually an organizational mess, but look how much damage they did.
November 19, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Unfortunately, fascists have the ability to weaponize incompetence. Contrary to popular depiction, Nazi Germany was actually an organizational mess, but look how much damage they did.
Jesus. I know this is bad, and the only legal training I’ve had is watching Law & Order.
November 19, 2025 at 5:21 PM
Jesus. I know this is bad, and the only legal training I’ve had is watching Law & Order.
Pub: I assume you will just obliquely allude to all this.
King: Oh, no. I will describe it graphically and in great detail over multiple pages, including a description of a pre-teen girl’s orgasm.
Pub:…
King:…
Pub: Ok, let’s do it.
King: Oh, no. I will describe it graphically and in great detail over multiple pages, including a description of a pre-teen girl’s orgasm.
Pub:…
King:…
Pub: Ok, let’s do it.
November 19, 2025 at 5:15 PM
Pub: I assume you will just obliquely allude to all this.
King: Oh, no. I will describe it graphically and in great detail over multiple pages, including a description of a pre-teen girl’s orgasm.
Pub:…
King:…
Pub: Ok, let’s do it.
King: Oh, no. I will describe it graphically and in great detail over multiple pages, including a description of a pre-teen girl’s orgasm.
Pub:…
King:…
Pub: Ok, let’s do it.
Seriously though, you do have to wonder how that conversation went when he explained the scene to his publisher.
King: So in order to reestablish their bond, all the boys in the losers club have sex with Bev.
Pub: And these characters are all 12?
King: Yup.
King: So in order to reestablish their bond, all the boys in the losers club have sex with Bev.
Pub: And these characters are all 12?
King: Yup.
November 19, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Seriously though, you do have to wonder how that conversation went when he explained the scene to his publisher.
King: So in order to reestablish their bond, all the boys in the losers club have sex with Bev.
Pub: And these characters are all 12?
King: Yup.
King: So in order to reestablish their bond, all the boys in the losers club have sex with Bev.
Pub: And these characters are all 12?
King: Yup.
It was the 80s.
a woman wearing a green shirt and purple makeup stands next to a man
ALT: a woman wearing a green shirt and purple makeup stands next to a man
media.tenor.com
November 19, 2025 at 4:54 PM
It was the 80s.
You do realize his editor was likely also on cocaine.
November 19, 2025 at 4:40 PM
You do realize his editor was likely also on cocaine.