Schmrrrrrrrlex
@schmrrrlex.bsky.social
mouldering lump of organic matter trapped in a series of social media accounts with diminishing returns
when my kid uses my debit card to doordash himself a huge bag of nerds gummy clusters and a six pack of blue gatorade
November 20, 2025 at 4:24 PM
when my kid uses my debit card to doordash himself a huge bag of nerds gummy clusters and a six pack of blue gatorade
I have this pic framed on my desk. One of my all time favorite funny twitter things. Thank you for your service Dave Cactus!
October 15, 2025 at 9:53 PM
I have this pic framed on my desk. One of my all time favorite funny twitter things. Thank you for your service Dave Cactus!
somehow when Kilmeade says "kill the homeless" on national television there are no consequences, yet when I say that if Brian really wants to apologize he should lethally inject himself I get my twitter account suspended
September 14, 2025 at 11:40 PM
somehow when Kilmeade says "kill the homeless" on national television there are no consequences, yet when I say that if Brian really wants to apologize he should lethally inject himself I get my twitter account suspended
never forget what they took from us
August 31, 2025 at 9:31 PM
never forget what they took from us
as an American from the Midwest, I do NOT want my burger smashed by some kind of Silicon Valley proprietary tech device. I want it done by a big man with neck rolls whose been working a griddle for 30 years and calls his spatula 'Lucille'
August 6, 2025 at 4:38 PM
as an American from the Midwest, I do NOT want my burger smashed by some kind of Silicon Valley proprietary tech device. I want it done by a big man with neck rolls whose been working a griddle for 30 years and calls his spatula 'Lucille'
just rolled the dice and went for it. I truly envy the stupid but confident
May 10, 2025 at 1:47 AM
just rolled the dice and went for it. I truly envy the stupid but confident
You throw one of these right on top of it
May 9, 2025 at 8:50 PM
You throw one of these right on top of it
been thinking about her again
March 21, 2025 at 3:59 PM
been thinking about her again
saying “sex” this way from now on
March 7, 2025 at 4:33 AM
saying “sex” this way from now on
actual product description: "This shade recalls the darkness inside the box of pain which forced Paul Atreides to recite the Litany Against Fear to endure. It is a dark charcoal or black shimmery loose eyeshadow with flecks of silver"
what is happening
what is happening
February 26, 2025 at 9:11 PM
actual product description: "This shade recalls the darkness inside the box of pain which forced Paul Atreides to recite the Litany Against Fear to endure. It is a dark charcoal or black shimmery loose eyeshadow with flecks of silver"
what is happening
what is happening
for purposes of illustration this is a thousand gallon tank (dipshit in shirt is not me). just eyeballing it this all sounds reasonable
February 13, 2025 at 3:34 AM
for purposes of illustration this is a thousand gallon tank (dipshit in shirt is not me). just eyeballing it this all sounds reasonable
who up and fascinated by bristle worms
December 15, 2024 at 7:52 AM
who up and fascinated by bristle worms
Io at the barbershop like "give me the tintin"
December 14, 2024 at 5:34 AM
Io at the barbershop like "give me the tintin"
In honor of Gary Larson's birthday, please share a Far Side that you love.
August 14, 2023 at 7:18 PM
In honor of Gary Larson's birthday, please share a Far Side that you love.