That was honestly a really fun day on twitter, all of us dragging this fedora-ed perv together

Every time i think about outside it cost 200 dollars

Putting the bonnet on my Christmas list!

I have a silk pillowcase! but it doesn’t do enough for my bitchy high maintenance hair to allow me to fully raw dog the drying experience

If I wanted to watch people on my tv with homely faces full of character I’d watch British crime dramas.

When I’m watching reality tv sluts, they need to be symmetrical and have like, jaw lines and cheekbones.

Lisa Vanderpump, you failed us this time.

No I will not watch the new VPR because I saw the preview and none of the new people are hot enough. I’m sorry.

The other reason I can’t do it myself is because I’m busy watching old vanderpump rules

yeahhh

like try to find any photo of her where she's not desperately pursing her lips it's really really hard

Thanks Jolleen! 💚❤️

Never ruin an incredible landscaping relationship with hooking up. It’s my one rule.

I haven’t gotten up the energy to trim the tree yet with my 800 ornaments from my mommy over the years, and I need to do that when I have both the physical stamina and the emotional stamina for all the nostalgia bombs

So I faked a bf to avoid hurting his feelings bc he’s a really good landscaper and I cannot lose my landscaper in this economy.

Now we are back to normal 🥰

Back in my old twitter days I shared the text messages where he got a little too flirty (while married). And then he was getting divorced. And eventually he sent a text that said something like “Don’t think about this, just answer. Can I take you on a date sometime?”

I put up my 7.5 Christmas tree myself and I’m so sore 2 days later. It’s so heavy!! And I am so weak.

And sticking the middle tree part prong into the bottom tree part hole at juuuust the right angle to make the electricity work was SO HARD.

Brief pause to feel sympathy for men.

Ok pause over.

It’s basically the same thing

That was also her reaction