Sarah Smithers
@sarahsmithers.bsky.social
Senior Editorial Coordinator at The Verge.
She/Her
My dream is to be on Jeopardy but my absolute nightmare is landing on a Daily Double.
She/Her
My dream is to be on Jeopardy but my absolute nightmare is landing on a Daily Double.
The puppy my roommate and I adopted in 2012 died yesterday. Rude. He knew I was having a rough year and said “let’s make it worse”. I’ve aged 10 years in the 24 hours he’s been gone. Asshole. Will never forget him or forgive him for doing this to me. Rigby, love you forever, save me a seat in hell.
November 6, 2025 at 6:59 PM
The puppy my roommate and I adopted in 2012 died yesterday. Rude. He knew I was having a rough year and said “let’s make it worse”. I’ve aged 10 years in the 24 hours he’s been gone. Asshole. Will never forget him or forgive him for doing this to me. Rigby, love you forever, save me a seat in hell.
My best friend / former roommate texted to tell me the dog we adopted together 14 years ago was going to sleep for the final time WHILE I WAS IN THE DENTIST’S CHAIR, my streak continues, I’m inconsolable and also never getting my teeth cleaned ever again.
Since 2021, every other time I go to the dentist someone I know dies. Logically this is because people start dying as they grow older. Not-so-logically, I’ve had to reschedule my 12/18 appointment three times already because I’m scared- my desire for clean teeth killed my aunt last January.
November 5, 2025 at 7:31 PM
My best friend / former roommate texted to tell me the dog we adopted together 14 years ago was going to sleep for the final time WHILE I WAS IN THE DENTIST’S CHAIR, my streak continues, I’m inconsolable and also never getting my teeth cleaned ever again.
Big news, I am now the proud owner of this beauty (and whatever spirits are attached to it).
October 17, 2025 at 6:24 PM
Big news, I am now the proud owner of this beauty (and whatever spirits are attached to it).
It’s almost fall and everything is either maple or pumpkin flavored AND there’s a new Taylor Swift album on the horizon. I should be having the time of my life but all these fucking fascists are really trying to ruin my Autumnal Experience!!
September 20, 2025 at 12:07 AM
It’s almost fall and everything is either maple or pumpkin flavored AND there’s a new Taylor Swift album on the horizon. I should be having the time of my life but all these fucking fascists are really trying to ruin my Autumnal Experience!!
Can someone just make a slutty orthopedic shoe already?! It would fix me (for a few hours).
August 28, 2025 at 9:11 PM
Can someone just make a slutty orthopedic shoe already?! It would fix me (for a few hours).
A bird just shit on my head and FACE. I keep reminding myself that my Ukrainian family members would say it’s a sign of luck, but also no amount of exfoliating can get rid of the feeling ON MY FACE. Worse still, it messed up my hair washing schedule. I’m not supposed to wash my hair today! 💀
July 18, 2025 at 12:16 AM
A bird just shit on my head and FACE. I keep reminding myself that my Ukrainian family members would say it’s a sign of luck, but also no amount of exfoliating can get rid of the feeling ON MY FACE. Worse still, it messed up my hair washing schedule. I’m not supposed to wash my hair today! 💀
Favorite family member died Saturday night. Thankfully the engineer in the house has made sure I can still play Oblivion while waiting on a replacement 😔
July 14, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Favorite family member died Saturday night. Thankfully the engineer in the house has made sure I can still play Oblivion while waiting on a replacement 😔
Have three drinks in me which means I refuse to shut up about how much I miss Pop-Up Video and how I wish everything I watch on tv could get the Pop-Up Video treatment.
July 12, 2025 at 1:55 AM
Have three drinks in me which means I refuse to shut up about how much I miss Pop-Up Video and how I wish everything I watch on tv could get the Pop-Up Video treatment.
It took 11 years, but my husband and I finally have the ol' folie à deux (and I'm DEF the inducer):
We had brunch on Saturday. Afterwards, he bought a ton of crystals from an oddity shop, and said "The amethyst sphere was a good investment, let's put it on the windowsill so the moon can see it."
We had brunch on Saturday. Afterwards, he bought a ton of crystals from an oddity shop, and said "The amethyst sphere was a good investment, let's put it on the windowsill so the moon can see it."
July 7, 2025 at 4:15 PM
It took 11 years, but my husband and I finally have the ol' folie à deux (and I'm DEF the inducer):
We had brunch on Saturday. Afterwards, he bought a ton of crystals from an oddity shop, and said "The amethyst sphere was a good investment, let's put it on the windowsill so the moon can see it."
We had brunch on Saturday. Afterwards, he bought a ton of crystals from an oddity shop, and said "The amethyst sphere was a good investment, let's put it on the windowsill so the moon can see it."
Attempted to order the Ugly Gold Phone (for work, obv!!!) but was unable to.
I have a DC billing address, and they wouldn't accept that as a state on their site.
I am not surprised by this.
I WILL be surprised if a tacky looking phone actually makes it to our office come September. 🙃
I have a DC billing address, and they wouldn't accept that as a state on their site.
I am not surprised by this.
I WILL be surprised if a tacky looking phone actually makes it to our office come September. 🙃
June 16, 2025 at 5:44 PM
Attempted to order the Ugly Gold Phone (for work, obv!!!) but was unable to.
I have a DC billing address, and they wouldn't accept that as a state on their site.
I am not surprised by this.
I WILL be surprised if a tacky looking phone actually makes it to our office come September. 🙃
I have a DC billing address, and they wouldn't accept that as a state on their site.
I am not surprised by this.
I WILL be surprised if a tacky looking phone actually makes it to our office come September. 🙃
Debuted our new bar trivia team name last night- Hammurabi's Chode. We were sure we'd win best name.
The host kept calling us "Harambe's chode" and saying "dicks out for Harambe!" so eventually we were like "Not the gorilla. The Babylonian. You know, an eye for an eye?"
She said "Huh? Who?"
🫠
The host kept calling us "Harambe's chode" and saying "dicks out for Harambe!" so eventually we were like "Not the gorilla. The Babylonian. You know, an eye for an eye?"
She said "Huh? Who?"
🫠
June 12, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Debuted our new bar trivia team name last night- Hammurabi's Chode. We were sure we'd win best name.
The host kept calling us "Harambe's chode" and saying "dicks out for Harambe!" so eventually we were like "Not the gorilla. The Babylonian. You know, an eye for an eye?"
She said "Huh? Who?"
🫠
The host kept calling us "Harambe's chode" and saying "dicks out for Harambe!" so eventually we were like "Not the gorilla. The Babylonian. You know, an eye for an eye?"
She said "Huh? Who?"
🫠
I've lost 13 pounds since my husband went on Zepbound solely because he no longer turns into a little late night goblin who whispers shit to me like "I'm getting another beer, I'll grab you one, too" or "I want ice cream, getting two spoons" or "Did you know we have freezer waffles?"
May 30, 2025 at 5:40 PM
I've lost 13 pounds since my husband went on Zepbound solely because he no longer turns into a little late night goblin who whispers shit to me like "I'm getting another beer, I'll grab you one, too" or "I want ice cream, getting two spoons" or "Did you know we have freezer waffles?"
Trying to decide if I want to pay a salon $60+ to give me a crown braid, or if I just want to give my husband one of my Adderalls, make him watch some YouTube tutorials, and then force him be my little Braiding Bitch.
May 14, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Trying to decide if I want to pay a salon $60+ to give me a crown braid, or if I just want to give my husband one of my Adderalls, make him watch some YouTube tutorials, and then force him be my little Braiding Bitch.
The new pope must be a mostly okay dude as evidenced by the fact that no one in my conservative (Pope Francis hatin’) Catholic family has texted me any form of “praise Jesus” or “God is GREAT!!” yet. Not even a “USA! USA!”
May 8, 2025 at 6:27 PM
The new pope must be a mostly okay dude as evidenced by the fact that no one in my conservative (Pope Francis hatin’) Catholic family has texted me any form of “praise Jesus” or “God is GREAT!!” yet. Not even a “USA! USA!”
Once again having a panic attack in the card aisle because they all say stuff like “you’re my best friend!” and “world’s greatest mom!” instead of “Happy Mother’s Day, my therapist says thanks for her beach house”.
May 3, 2025 at 1:33 PM
Once again having a panic attack in the card aisle because they all say stuff like “you’re my best friend!” and “world’s greatest mom!” instead of “Happy Mother’s Day, my therapist says thanks for her beach house”.
My dermatologist told me the skin on my face is "gorgeous" and oh boy, that's gonna keep me going for a while. It's also gonna turn me into an absolute monster for a few days because A DERMATOLOGIST thinks I have good face skin. Do you know how much skin she looks at every day?! Top-tier compliment.
April 16, 2025 at 5:29 PM
My dermatologist told me the skin on my face is "gorgeous" and oh boy, that's gonna keep me going for a while. It's also gonna turn me into an absolute monster for a few days because A DERMATOLOGIST thinks I have good face skin. Do you know how much skin she looks at every day?! Top-tier compliment.
Yesterday I went on a dog walk and met a woman who was probably 12 years younger than me. When I told her my dog’s name is Ned Flanders she said “Oh! Like the song!”
No….like Ned Flanders.
No….like Ned Flanders.
March 30, 2025 at 8:57 PM
Yesterday I went on a dog walk and met a woman who was probably 12 years younger than me. When I told her my dog’s name is Ned Flanders she said “Oh! Like the song!”
No….like Ned Flanders.
No….like Ned Flanders.
Negotiating the accordion I’m going to buy with my husband (I need a new hobby to distract me from the atrocities). We’ve agreed that I can buy the best worst one now and then, in a year, if I still like it, I can buy the worst best one.
March 29, 2025 at 12:10 AM
Negotiating the accordion I’m going to buy with my husband (I need a new hobby to distract me from the atrocities). We’ve agreed that I can buy the best worst one now and then, in a year, if I still like it, I can buy the worst best one.
I put a bunch of stuff I don't want anymore on my curb two hours ago and 3/4 of it is gone already, and I don't know what is wrong with me but I am SO happy about it. I love it when my stuff gets to go live in a new house!! I hope it's happy there!!!
March 28, 2025 at 4:32 PM
I put a bunch of stuff I don't want anymore on my curb two hours ago and 3/4 of it is gone already, and I don't know what is wrong with me but I am SO happy about it. I love it when my stuff gets to go live in a new house!! I hope it's happy there!!!
Found an interesting mold in my ceramics studio today.
February 20, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Found an interesting mold in my ceramics studio today.
My parents "hate socialism" so I went ahead and removed them from all my streaming/shared accounts. Now they can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and pay for their own Max and Hulu and Paramount+ and AppleTv+ and Disney+ and Spotify. Bye-bye to their two day Prime Delivery! ❤️
February 4, 2025 at 5:55 PM
My parents "hate socialism" so I went ahead and removed them from all my streaming/shared accounts. Now they can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and pay for their own Max and Hulu and Paramount+ and AppleTv+ and Disney+ and Spotify. Bye-bye to their two day Prime Delivery! ❤️
I just finished Mad Men and am obviously in a really good place mentally so I made this instead of giving myself bangs.
February 3, 2025 at 10:23 PM
I just finished Mad Men and am obviously in a really good place mentally so I made this instead of giving myself bangs.
Welcome back to my Eye Twitch, haven't hung out with her since the early pandemic days of 2020.
February 3, 2025 at 5:58 PM
Welcome back to my Eye Twitch, haven't hung out with her since the early pandemic days of 2020.
My neighbor has stopped attempting to make small talk with me ever since the November Incident, where we ran into each other on a walk and he said “how’s it goin” and I said “SORRY I’M BEING WEIRD, I SMOKED A BONG AND NOW I’M LISTENING TO ‘EAST OF EDEN’ ON AUDIOBOOK AND I’M CRYING CAUSE I LOVE LEE!”
February 1, 2025 at 6:59 PM
My neighbor has stopped attempting to make small talk with me ever since the November Incident, where we ran into each other on a walk and he said “how’s it goin” and I said “SORRY I’M BEING WEIRD, I SMOKED A BONG AND NOW I’M LISTENING TO ‘EAST OF EDEN’ ON AUDIOBOOK AND I’M CRYING CAUSE I LOVE LEE!”
Starting to worry that I married an idiot after he asked me why the ashes from a letter written to my grandma and then burned during a full moon would be better for doing witchcraft than the ashes from a joint. It’s like he doesn’t get the science behind magic at all.
January 25, 2025 at 7:04 PM
Starting to worry that I married an idiot after he asked me why the ashes from a letter written to my grandma and then burned during a full moon would be better for doing witchcraft than the ashes from a joint. It’s like he doesn’t get the science behind magic at all.