Yeah, this tweet is about you, your boyfriend’s a notorious tool.

Much like all Dragon Quest games need Slimes and all Final Fantasies need Chocobos, all Silent Hills need an Ungodly Amalgamation of Ass and Titties that Represents the Oedipal Complex or Whatever.

Listen, if I knew the answer, I’d respond to you both.

I don’t workout to “get healthy”, I workout to “become the undead.”

Happy birthday, hope you have a beautiful one!

Can’t finish a series that’s not finished, baby! Book #5 drops next month and hopefully they adapt them all, they get better with age.

I mean, it’s a 12 song soundtrack, so it empirically does.

Listen, take it up with Kyle and Jenn of Apple Fitness+, I didn’t make the damn workouts.

Oh, come on, if somebody in this chain should be reprimanded, it is NOT me.

What can I say, my milkshake brings all the plants to the yard.

Oh yeah, our apartment is not exactly chilly, but it’s totally manageable. This total breakdown was brought to you exclusively by the 5 minute walk to the grocery store.

It’s 98 degrees in NYC today, all rules of dignity and decorum have been replaced with “mind your damn business.”