WHO’S IN THE RIGHT? I’LL LET THE ACROSTICS DO THE TALKING:

HELP ME
ALLEVIATE MY
INTENSIVE
LONELINESS
ERGENTLY

VS

WONDERFUL
HEARTFELT
INTUITIVE
TENACIOUS
NICE
ELEGIAC
YTRUE FRIEND

I DO MY OWN VERSION OF WHAMAGEDDON WHERE I AVOID ONOMATOPOEIA YEAR-ROUND. I AM FINE HEARING WHAM’S SONGS, BUT IF SOMEONE MENTIONS THEIR NAME I ABSOLUTELY FLIP THE FUCK OUT

JUST TIP A BUCKET OF PIG’S BLOOD ON THE WALL. NO NEED FOR SANDING. NO NEED FOR ANYTHING. VISCERA ENGULFS ALL

I WOULD RETWEET THIS BUT AFTER THE TITLE, THE BODY OF THE TEXT IS ONLY 2.76% CAPITAL LETTERS - FALLING FAR SHORT OF THE MINIMUM 100%. RETWEET DENIED

DAVE IS RIGHT. I HAVE BEEN TO BARCELONA AND THE ENTIRE TIME I THOUGHT, THIS PLACE NEEDS TO BE MORE ENGLISH. SERVAYSA PORFAVORE! IF HE IS TO SPEND SIX MONTHS THERE, AS IS HIS GOD GIVEN RIGHT, HE WILL NEED THE FEELING OF HOME THAT ONLY MINI CHEDDARS AND OBSTINATE SMALL MINDEDNESS CAN PROVIDE

LEARNING THAT DONALD RUMSFELD IS ALSO DEAD. TROUBLING. YOU CAN’T HAVE TWO GUYS GETTING STUBBED OUT LIKE CIGARETTES IN THE SAME MOVIE. BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD