Rsmallbone
@rsmallbone.bsky.social
“…and then I said ‘That’s what the kayak’s for!’ I tell ya, Sinatra lost it, Dino’s on the floor, and then Sammy comes in holdin’ a birthday cake with a little statue of Genghis Khan on top!”
I have more followers on other sites, but the QUALITY of followers on here: smart, beautiful people. And the GENITALS? Glistening! Real top-quality knobs and knockers. What a joy it is to interact with you all.
December 13, 2024 at 4:32 PM
I have more followers on other sites, but the QUALITY of followers on here: smart, beautiful people. And the GENITALS? Glistening! Real top-quality knobs and knockers. What a joy it is to interact with you all.
This is true; I had sex last week with a human
December 13, 2024 at 4:14 AM
This is true; I had sex last week with a human
Finn got 3 vaccinations today, and he’s been sitting staring like this for 10 minutes. Boy’s high as balls.
December 6, 2024 at 1:34 AM
Finn got 3 vaccinations today, and he’s been sitting staring like this for 10 minutes. Boy’s high as balls.
I asked for “a bunch of black pepper” at Wendy’s today and girl at the window nailed it
November 30, 2024 at 8:28 PM
I asked for “a bunch of black pepper” at Wendy’s today and girl at the window nailed it
One thing I’m glad Bluesky copied from Twitter is the opportunity to be followed by lingerie-and-bikini ladies
November 30, 2024 at 6:21 PM
One thing I’m glad Bluesky copied from Twitter is the opportunity to be followed by lingerie-and-bikini ladies
I’m happiest when I’m sad
November 30, 2024 at 6:19 PM
I’m happiest when I’m sad
My doctor says I can’t donate blood for a while because my iron’s too low, but I need that blood OUT of me. TOO MUCH BLOOD. THE GODS DEMAND A SACRIFICE. Also, he says I should eat red meat and legumes.
November 29, 2024 at 9:07 PM
My doctor says I can’t donate blood for a while because my iron’s too low, but I need that blood OUT of me. TOO MUCH BLOOD. THE GODS DEMAND A SACRIFICE. Also, he says I should eat red meat and legumes.
This seems like a dereliction of duty. How can you say you’re a country based on the rule of law if the law isn’t applied equally?
November 26, 2024 at 12:36 AM
This seems like a dereliction of duty. How can you say you’re a country based on the rule of law if the law isn’t applied equally?
I was mad at my wife tonight so when I made her sandwich for lunch I cut it straight across instead of diagonally
November 25, 2024 at 1:41 AM
I was mad at my wife tonight so when I made her sandwich for lunch I cut it straight across instead of diagonally
Me to my dogs, every day: YOU PEOPLE ARE ANIMALS
November 24, 2024 at 12:03 AM
Me to my dogs, every day: YOU PEOPLE ARE ANIMALS
Took this guy to puppy school and then he passed out in the back of the car.
November 23, 2024 at 9:23 PM
Took this guy to puppy school and then he passed out in the back of the car.
If you’re a transphobe, homophobe, bigot, misogynist, or racist, you can fuck off. I don’t want your follow and I hope you get anal warts the size of grapes.
November 21, 2024 at 2:57 AM
If you’re a transphobe, homophobe, bigot, misogynist, or racist, you can fuck off. I don’t want your follow and I hope you get anal warts the size of grapes.
There are two dogs in this picture. Also, you owe me $20 if you wank to my feet.
November 17, 2024 at 10:20 PM
There are two dogs in this picture. Also, you owe me $20 if you wank to my feet.
Things my wife said in her sleep last night:
“Do you smell bacon?”
“HELP!”
“Zombies! It’s zombies!”
“Do you smell bacon?”
“HELP!”
“Zombies! It’s zombies!”
November 16, 2024 at 3:32 PM
Things my wife said in her sleep last night:
“Do you smell bacon?”
“HELP!”
“Zombies! It’s zombies!”
“Do you smell bacon?”
“HELP!”
“Zombies! It’s zombies!”
I don’t know how this is possible. I DO NOT FEEL CALM.
November 15, 2024 at 1:08 PM
I don’t know how this is possible. I DO NOT FEEL CALM.
How many scabs do you need to peel to fill a burrito?
November 15, 2024 at 3:11 AM
How many scabs do you need to peel to fill a burrito?
Turns out the hang glider I made out of an old tent was not airworthy and I’d like to apologize to the Scout troop for making them watch their leader scrape down the side of a cliff. They make new faces all the time, and maybe sewing it back on could earn you a badge.
November 15, 2024 at 3:07 AM
Turns out the hang glider I made out of an old tent was not airworthy and I’d like to apologize to the Scout troop for making them watch their leader scrape down the side of a cliff. They make new faces all the time, and maybe sewing it back on could earn you a badge.
The best thing about getting older is that the farts just kind of fall out of you
November 15, 2024 at 2:51 AM
The best thing about getting older is that the farts just kind of fall out of you
I’m the Beyoncé of Bluesky
November 15, 2024 at 2:33 AM
I’m the Beyoncé of Bluesky
You’d think that watching Trump nominate the absolute dumbest, most-batshit and corrupt cabinet in history would be a lot more fun
November 15, 2024 at 1:38 AM
You’d think that watching Trump nominate the absolute dumbest, most-batshit and corrupt cabinet in history would be a lot more fun
If it’s not fresh, I don’t want it. I don’t need the privilege of taking your rotten lettuce home without you even charging me.
November 15, 2024 at 12:54 AM
If it’s not fresh, I don’t want it. I don’t need the privilege of taking your rotten lettuce home without you even charging me.
It’s pronounced “bloo-ski”
November 14, 2024 at 7:04 PM
It’s pronounced “bloo-ski”
Finn is ambivalent
November 12, 2024 at 4:52 AM
Finn is ambivalent
For sale: dog bed, well used.
November 12, 2024 at 4:45 AM
For sale: dog bed, well used.
My relationship with my adult children.
October 23, 2023 at 11:17 PM
My relationship with my adult children.