ambrosius.
@rosemagus.bsky.social
your “good old days” are still ahead of you, may you have many of them.
death count: 1
death count: 1
Pinned
"It helps store the food for longer. In this case, it also prevents the snack from melting and allows for easy carrying."
He nods enthusiastically as he speaks.
"They are clever, no? I am always amused by their ingenuity."
He nods enthusiastically as he speaks.
"They are clever, no? I am always amused by their ingenuity."
`` ... ``
`` That explains so much, actually. ``
Deity now removes the wrapper and bites into the chocolate bar.
`` Hm. It is good. Mortals and packaging things... I do not get it. ``
`` That explains so much, actually. ``
Deity now removes the wrapper and bites into the chocolate bar.
`` Hm. It is good. Mortals and packaging things... I do not get it. ``
"Ah— wait, no. You... You have to take the wrapper off first. The outer layer... That's not edible."
December 9, 2025 at 11:58 AM
"It helps store the food for longer. In this case, it also prevents the snack from melting and allows for easy carrying."
He nods enthusiastically as he speaks.
"They are clever, no? I am always amused by their ingenuity."
He nods enthusiastically as he speaks.
"They are clever, no? I am always amused by their ingenuity."
"Ah— wait, no. You... You have to take the wrapper off first. The outer layer... That's not edible."
`` ... Very well. ``
Deity takes the chocolate bar, chomping down with the wrapper still on?? He doesn't know any better.
Deity takes the chocolate bar, chomping down with the wrapper still on?? He doesn't know any better.
"Oh. Oh! I see, we've had a misunderstanding. I wished to trade my sense of taste for yours. If you want some of my food, you can just have it. Here."
He produces, and gestures with a chocolate bar.
He produces, and gestures with a chocolate bar.
December 9, 2025 at 11:54 AM
"Ah— wait, no. You... You have to take the wrapper off first. The outer layer... That's not edible."
"Oh. Oh! I see, we've had a misunderstanding. I wished to trade my sense of taste for yours. If you want some of my food, you can just have it. Here."
He produces, and gestures with a chocolate bar.
He produces, and gestures with a chocolate bar.
`` ... I had thought this was a "trade". Food for food. ``
"Removing a food source without replacing it with another seems like a miserable place to be. It's the sort of deal a faerie would make with you in an instant."
December 9, 2025 at 11:51 AM
"Oh. Oh! I see, we've had a misunderstanding. I wished to trade my sense of taste for yours. If you want some of my food, you can just have it. Here."
He produces, and gestures with a chocolate bar.
He produces, and gestures with a chocolate bar.
I think the 'price' was implied with my statement. You would be the fuel for the fire, that's what you want, isn't it? To complete your task, no matter the cost.
Hm? No interest. You appear to have a very shallow, yet disfavorable opinion of me. Besides, all my recent marks have been men.
Hm? No interest. You appear to have a very shallow, yet disfavorable opinion of me. Besides, all my recent marks have been men.
All beauty has its prices. Especially when you can foresee every single outcome. It’s a woe-is-your-world, I’m fine. Aw. Isn’t that cute?
Why do you care? Shouldn’t you be off flirting with someone more ‘easy’?
Why do you care? Shouldn’t you be off flirting with someone more ‘easy’?
Guilt trip? Oh no, you misunderstand my intentions. You claim to be numb to your station, but you possess a woe-is-me disposition that opposes your words. I find that quite disturbing.
Perhaps you should dutifully complete your task, then fizzle out like a dying star. That would be quite beautiful.
Perhaps you should dutifully complete your task, then fizzle out like a dying star. That would be quite beautiful.
December 9, 2025 at 10:07 AM
I think the 'price' was implied with my statement. You would be the fuel for the fire, that's what you want, isn't it? To complete your task, no matter the cost.
Hm? No interest. You appear to have a very shallow, yet disfavorable opinion of me. Besides, all my recent marks have been men.
Hm? No interest. You appear to have a very shallow, yet disfavorable opinion of me. Besides, all my recent marks have been men.
Reposted by ambrosius.
November 6, 2024 at 6:22 AM
Haha, perhaps! Of course, I've no interest in confirming nor denying. At the very least, I am rather jealous of the vivid dreams humanity provides.
What about you? Are there any sins you vy for?
What about you? Are there any sins you vy for?
I think you're envious of humans being able to genuinely enjoy things and die normally. You probably have some stuff going on in that head of yours that you regret over your millions of years alive or however long it's been.
Lust is literally so predictable. Tell about this envy stuff, though.
December 9, 2025 at 8:39 AM
Haha, perhaps! Of course, I've no interest in confirming nor denying. At the very least, I am rather jealous of the vivid dreams humanity provides.
What about you? Are there any sins you vy for?
What about you? Are there any sins you vy for?
Lust is literally so predictable. Tell about this envy stuff, though.
I could see you manifesting lust or envy without issue.
We all know my greatest sin is sloth. I should be allowed to indulge in the other ones sometimes, as is my nature.
December 9, 2025 at 8:20 AM
Lust is literally so predictable. Tell about this envy stuff, though.
"Yes, but only if you find a new and creative way each time."
December 9, 2025 at 7:53 AM
"Yes, but only if you find a new and creative way each time."
"Wow, I just had the best nap of my life."
Half his body is still regenerating.
Half his body is still regenerating.
December 9, 2025 at 7:49 AM
"Wow, I just had the best nap of my life."
Half his body is still regenerating.
Half his body is still regenerating.
... ... ... "Well that wasn't too ba—"
It proceeds to blow up and take Merlin with it.
It proceeds to blow up and take Merlin with it.
[ very unceremoniously plunging the blade of the knife into the very tip-top of the dome. ]
Looks down.
"Head."
"Head."
December 9, 2025 at 7:44 AM
... ... ... "Well that wasn't too ba—"
It proceeds to blow up and take Merlin with it.
It proceeds to blow up and take Merlin with it.
Looks down.
"Head."
"Head."
where would you least want to be stabbed.
"Can you attack me in some other way? I need my throat to talk so I can say annoying things while I'm being stabbed."
December 9, 2025 at 7:40 AM
Looks down.
"Head."
"Head."
We all know my greatest sin is sloth. I should be allowed to indulge in the other ones sometimes, as is my nature.
Pride and the downfall of man typeshit. I don't know what else to tell you.
And that is a problem, why? Self-confidence is a vice now? Chaldea is truly a deplorable place to be.
December 9, 2025 at 7:40 AM
We all know my greatest sin is sloth. I should be allowed to indulge in the other ones sometimes, as is my nature.
"Can you attack me in some other way? I need my throat to talk so I can say annoying things while I'm being stabbed."
no. now close your eyes and focus only on the sensation of the blade slicing across your throat. 🫶
"Pretty please give me my knife back? I was very foolish throwing it at you and will not do it again."
December 9, 2025 at 7:37 AM
"Can you attack me in some other way? I need my throat to talk so I can say annoying things while I'm being stabbed."
No, I believe in you with my whole entire heart. Your word is now gospel. I will be making my entire court and any unfortunate knights in my presence eat this immediately.
Some people ain't ever put a quarter of a huge jar of mayo and some thick slices of tomato on some bread and it really shows.
Disclaimer: I will eat Anything that probably won't make me sick. I am not a good testimonial.
Disclaimer: I will eat Anything that probably won't make me sick. I am not a good testimonial.
people who think mayo doesn't add flavor just haven't used enough mayo
December 9, 2025 at 7:35 AM
No, I believe in you with my whole entire heart. Your word is now gospel. I will be making my entire court and any unfortunate knights in my presence eat this immediately.
"Pretty please give me my knife back? I was very foolish throwing it at you and will not do it again."
that is a big ‘ what if. i am curious what will happen if you ask nicely as well. proceed.
"Hmm... I must admit this does not look good for me. What if I ask for my knife back really nicely?"
December 9, 2025 at 7:34 AM
"Pretty please give me my knife back? I was very foolish throwing it at you and will not do it again."
defending mayo with my life. shouldn't be loudly declaring to the world that you don't have any sense of taste.
December 9, 2025 at 7:29 AM
defending mayo with my life. shouldn't be loudly declaring to the world that you don't have any sense of taste.
people who think mayo doesn't add flavor just haven't used enough mayo
December 9, 2025 at 7:22 AM
people who think mayo doesn't add flavor just haven't used enough mayo
"Hmm... I must admit this does not look good for me. What if I ask for my knife back really nicely?"
[ silly enough, too many trust the creatures cheating and lying about 100% blindness. as this bitch very easily now has a knife held in its palm for its own usage. ]
He thinks this might be a bad idea. Unfortunately, he realizes he already threw the knife before he could finish that thought.
December 9, 2025 at 7:21 AM
"Hmm... I must admit this does not look good for me. What if I ask for my knife back really nicely?"
He thinks this might be a bad idea. Unfortunately, he realizes he already threw the knife before he could finish that thought.
i implore you to throw the knife.
"I just wanted to see if you'd dodge. A rock feels non-confrontational. I initially wanted to throw my knife, but then realized that might be seen as aggression."
December 9, 2025 at 7:19 AM
He thinks this might be a bad idea. Unfortunately, he realizes he already threw the knife before he could finish that thought.
"Perhaps like Hylia. I have known her since the day of her birth, and she has been stuck with me every day since then. This admonishment often feels less like that from a lord, or even a friend.
It also means she is quite adept at predicting my behavior, so I may as well not try."
It also means she is quite adept at predicting my behavior, so I may as well not try."
"Ooooohhh... That's what you're trying not to do."
He nodded thoughtfully.
"It's like me being chastised by Link or Hylia, then. Ugh."
He nodded thoughtfully.
"It's like me being chastised by Link or Hylia, then. Ugh."
"She is typically very tolerant of my behavior. She would often look the other way with my flirting and pranking, but going on a rampage and slaughtering her people is a step too far. I can respect this, so I obey her wishes."
December 9, 2025 at 7:06 AM
"Perhaps like Hylia. I have known her since the day of her birth, and she has been stuck with me every day since then. This admonishment often feels less like that from a lord, or even a friend.
It also means she is quite adept at predicting my behavior, so I may as well not try."
It also means she is quite adept at predicting my behavior, so I may as well not try."
"I just wanted to see if you'd dodge. A rock feels non-confrontational. I initially wanted to throw my knife, but then realized that might be seen as aggression."
… am i goliath, david? i assure you, throw another and this will not end in praise for you.
"Hm. Oo-kay."
Unfortunately, he took this as a challenge. Which means he's also throwing a rock at it for literally no other reason.
Unfortunately, he took this as a challenge. Which means he's also throwing a rock at it for literally no other reason.
December 9, 2025 at 7:04 AM
"I just wanted to see if you'd dodge. A rock feels non-confrontational. I initially wanted to throw my knife, but then realized that might be seen as aggression."
"She is typically very tolerant of my behavior. She would often look the other way with my flirting and pranking, but going on a rampage and slaughtering her people is a step too far. I can respect this, so I obey her wishes."
"You're shamed into hiding your desires?..."
"Sometimes my king yells at me when I cause problems, and that makes me feel something adjacent to sadness."
December 9, 2025 at 7:03 AM
"She is typically very tolerant of my behavior. She would often look the other way with my flirting and pranking, but going on a rampage and slaughtering her people is a step too far. I can respect this, so I obey her wishes."
"Hm. Oo-kay."
Unfortunately, he took this as a challenge. Which means he's also throwing a rock at it for literally no other reason.
Unfortunately, he took this as a challenge. Which means he's also throwing a rock at it for literally no other reason.
i would be delighted to allow you this simple joy of penetrating my currently unblemished shell, but i have gone many decades without a single scratch and fear my reputation would tank drastically.
that brings be more joy than I have felt in the entirety of my collective. please never get better.
that brings be more joy than I have felt in the entirety of my collective. please never get better.
"I am overcome with the desire to sink my teeth into your throat and throw you about like a chew toy, but my precognition tells me this would end poorly for me. However, since were sharing feelings, I thought I would also share this with you.
I hope it brings you joy to know I am always suffering."
I hope it brings you joy to know I am always suffering."
December 9, 2025 at 6:58 AM
"Hm. Oo-kay."
Unfortunately, he took this as a challenge. Which means he's also throwing a rock at it for literally no other reason.
Unfortunately, he took this as a challenge. Which means he's also throwing a rock at it for literally no other reason.
Reposted by ambrosius.
Thank you, black mold. That's a wonderful idea, black mold.
December 9, 2025 at 6:46 AM
Thank you, black mold. That's a wonderful idea, black mold.
"Sometimes my king yells at me when I cause problems, and that makes me feel something adjacent to sadness."
December 9, 2025 at 6:44 AM
"Sometimes my king yells at me when I cause problems, and that makes me feel something adjacent to sadness."