the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic
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robocryptid.bsky.social
the spiders Georg of Lash fanfic
@robocryptid.bsky.social
360 followers 170 following 1.5K posts
NSFW | she/they, bi/queer | fanfic writer, smut peddler & shitpost oracle | Deadlock + Yeehan + BG3 + TV shows + whatever else tickles my fancy
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robocryptid.bsky.social
every day is another chance to make a good impression
November 10, 2025 at 4:43 PM
robocryptid.bsky.social
I'm going to break them
Pocket from Deadlock
October 25, 2025 at 6:53 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
October 25, 2025 at 6:48 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
going through files to clean up my saved pictures and rediscovered this screenshot from Jack & Joker. apparently I named it "miserynoodles.png"
still shot of Wanarat Ratsameerat in Jack and Joker looking the saddest you've ever seen someone look with noodles hanging out of his mouth
October 22, 2025 at 2:25 PM
robocryptid.bsky.social
just got my Lash c-mm from @shanblackrx.art.br and he's everything I wanted ❤️‍🔥
Jacob Lash from the game Deadlock wearing a tank top that says "Don't Bully Me, I'll Cum"
October 21, 2025 at 11:43 PM
robocryptid.bsky.social
I love Jackbox
Quiplash screenshot. Question: "What used to have wings before God took away its power of flight?" Answers: "the sinister manatee" and "the humble sperm whale"
October 5, 2025 at 10:42 PM
robocryptid.bsky.social
I love Deadlock
October 3, 2025 at 4:47 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
They Can Make Each Other Worse Lash is already a guy who seems to lean into his worst instincts most of the time, but Pocket could go either way. While their morality is a “lighter gray” than many of the other characters in the game, getting a kill streak makes them more bloodthirsty, revealing the potential for a corruption arc. As long as Pocket is still recognizably Pocket to Lash and doesn’t treat him badly in their relationship, he’ll stick around and they can enable each other’s worst behaviors. Testimonials “I’ll be honest: like an unethical evangelist, they found me at a low point in my life and suckered me in and now I’m stuck with them.” - gradientdescent 2025 “I think both of them should be subjected to each other in a lab environment.” - Jeans / Soda / scalesandtails 2025 “Listen, the potential of Pocket squaring up with Vyper for Lash's sake is too good to ignore for me. Enby with a seven barrel shotgun vs. snake that will stop at nothing to get her man. Who will win? The seven barrel shotgun probably.” - The Last Friendly 2025 “I love the idea of an unstoppable force and immovable object being in love with each other. It’s terrible for them. The only possible outcome is ruin, but neither moves. The love is real. The feeling they get looking at each other is real. They know the collision is coming, and they YEARN for it.” - Bodacious Bassist 2025 “They sure are two people who stand next to each other.” - hanktalkin 2025 “Someone needs to put the asshole on a leash but unfortunately all Pocket had on hand was their own hands.” - Birdy Kane 2025 Testimonials “I am so convinced and a little sleepy!” - You 2025 “Whoa! This ship is so cool, I think I might be addicted!” - You 2025 “I love Lash/Pocket!” - You 2025 “I want to make 8,000,000 fanworks of this ship omg!” - You 2025 “I am not immune to the Lash/Pocket propaganda!” - You 2025 Credits! Much love to: Lash and Pocket Icons on the booktok slide https://linktr.ee/ToastyGhostey — Artist https://bsky.app/profile/crimekitty.bsky.social — Current modder (V 3.5 and onwards) https://x.com/ArcherOLegend — Original modder from V1 - V3 Number for the “You Be Slangin It” meme Rageorg for the art used on the Opposing Teams slide and the Lash & Pocket voice lines video!! https://www.tumblr.com/rageorg/767113084190982144/not-gonna-finish-this-insp-from-what-youre?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/rageorg/784052747128487936?source=share Atrament for the Roblox Lash dance Shirtless Lash Mod by loafloafloafloafloafloaf https://gamebanana.com/mods/621096 Any other drawn art pieces are by yours truly - (Arcane :] )
September 30, 2025 at 12:57 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
Deny, Deny, Deny Pocket is the kind of person who’s in denial about their baser urges. In game, this is ambition and their capacity for violence. In funny smut, it’s probably more like a denial of their own attraction to “shameful” people and/or acts. Lash is, of course, the kind of guy who’s deeply fucking embarrassing to be attracted to. Who better to get under Pocket’s skin? No More 4-D Chess Pocket was raised in an environment where everyone has an ulterior motive. Everyone wants something from them. They’ve had to play 4-D chess to navigate their social life for too many years, and now that they’re on the run, they’re paranoid in other ways. Lash is simple. He doesn’t want anything they’re not going to offer anyway, and he doesn’t really need anything from them. He has his own fame, so even the Fairfax name doesn’t matter. Maybe he’s an asshole, but he’s refreshingly straightforward. Fuckboy to Wife Guy Pipeline Lash is a fuckboy with an enormous ego covering for a wealth of insecurities (probably). Crack that veneer, and it’s a quick trip down the fuckboy to wife guy pipeline. He needs someone decent enough not to take too much advantage. Easy for Pocket not to take Lash seriously, but it means they’ll let their guard down, and oops, now there are feelings. It might be humiliating, but they could really use a ride or die like Lash in full wife guy mode. Performance Anxiety Lash is surrounded by people he constantly has to perform for. Pocket doesn’t need all that and frankly would find it unimpressive. Lash needs somebody to be authentic with, and who would be willing to put up with that authentic self (who is still kind of an asshole, just maybe less to the person he likes).
September 30, 2025 at 12:57 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
The Gameplay: Opposing Teams Lash is the only character to start with spirit resistance, and Pocket is the only character to start with negative spirit resistance. These used to be precisely 15% and -15%, respectively, which was a fun parallel, but Lash’s has been reduced because Valve hates me personally. Also please imagine getting Lash’s parry voiceline “That was cute” versus Pocket. Canon Evidence Lash’s voice lines imply he is only operating at, like, 40% of his usual hostility when he pings Pocket or kills them. Wow! Pocket knows about the Bear Pit and makes a joke about fighting there. They also buffed Pocket’s light melee. Both happened after we started shipping them with Lash. Clearly not a coincidence. A slide in the style of Booktok/Instagram romance book ads. On one side is Pocket, surrounded by the following words and phrases: snarky, too serious, perpetually in denial, daddy issues, wet cat coded, and poor now but grew up rich. On the other side is Lash, surrounded by the following words and phrases that pair with each of Pocket's: needs someone a little mean to him, but not too mean, knows how to cut loose, the kind of guy you def don't admit to wanting to fuck, older man, cat person, and working class. Surface Appeal They’re both hot Age gap (positive) Class difference Big fuckin ripped dude and far less ripped enby Funny asshole meets dry standoffish type with reasonably good intentions Each thinks the other is their arm candy/trophy wife
September 30, 2025 at 12:53 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
The Basics Listen, it’s a crackship. Let’s get that out of the way. On the other hand, so is almost every ship in Deadlock at the moment due to the state of the lore. Ships with “a real foundation” are relying on, like, two voice lines and a piece of string. The only difference here is we’re relying on no voice lines and a piece of string. Now that the bar has been lowered… Characterization: Pocket Pocket is an angsty sadsack who lies to themself and has a whole lot of Daddy Issues. They bury their ambitious streak and try to distance themself from decisions they’re uncomfortable making (consider the voice line, “It’s the spirits killing them, not me.” You know, the spirits in the case that Pocket carries and opens to make all their attacks. Not sure whose fault the shotgun is.) Characterization: Lash Jacob Lash is an arrogant, showboating, loud mouthed pitfighter who will flirt with anything that moves - all of which is to say he’s an insecure idiot. He’s hot though. In Neon Prime, pre-Deadlock becoming Deadlock, Lash had a nonbinary ex he whined about, implying he’s both pan and def the type to get attached despite the fuckboy attitude. PS even Jacob Lash respects they/them pronouns. Imagine being a bigger asshole than Jacob Lash. The Gameplay: Same Team Both characters are high mobility characters with high burst damage and potential for great synergy. Lash ult into Pocket ult and their respective follow-ups is the stuff of dreams (or nightmares, if you’re the enemy team). If you manage to survive, they can both hunt you down afterward too. It’s horrible/very sexy.
September 30, 2025 at 12:53 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
Lash/Pocket Manifesto (for real this time), aka Leapfrog or Locket or whatever we're calling it. Presented to you by robocryptid and Arcane Artisan.
September 30, 2025 at 12:53 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
"find the difference" meme with Lash and Theseus
September 29, 2025 at 1:23 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
suddenly smacked in the face with this memory: world's best lube.
St. Ives Apricot Scrub
September 27, 2025 at 5:33 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
just got my c0mm from @bitterment.bsky.social and I am gonna cry they're so cuuuuute 💜💜💜
chibi art of Calico and Wraith from Deadlock holding hands, with Ava pouncing in front of them
September 23, 2025 at 1:09 PM
robocryptid.bsky.social
the writing and voice acting are as good as the art. (my Lash bias is obvious and prob my Pocket bias, but Wraith and especially Vyper are also DELIGHTFUL if you ever want to look at the voicelines/listen to their VA line deliveries). as for the rest, never say never...
screenshot from August 19, 2024, over a year ago, that reads "would you like to try the beta for Deadlock? I think it's gonna be too MOBA-y for me."
September 22, 2025 at 5:02 PM
robocryptid.bsky.social
screenshot of Jacob Lash from Deadlock with a satire headline pasted over it that reads "Atmospheric Masturbatory Residue at Unsafe Levels"
September 21, 2025 at 8:37 PM
robocryptid.bsky.social
"frogs" has not stopped being funny since they updated this
screenshot of Pocket from Deadlock. beneath their name is the caption: "trickster. burst damage. frogs."
September 21, 2025 at 12:35 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
RIGHT, sometimes shows are based on books. I totally knew that, for sure, lol. but the only thing I know about The Expanse (the show version) is that Shohreh is an actor in it. she's this extremely talented, sexy-voiced gilf.
September 19, 2025 at 9:45 PM
robocryptid.bsky.social
that is still his bio, but now he looks like this
September 19, 2025 at 5:21 PM
robocryptid.bsky.social
look, Lash's sausages no longer hang off his belt, but are now stuffed in his pocket. Valve must be sending me secret messages for my Lash/Pocket agenda.
Lash Deadlock from behind. sausage links are hanging out of his back pocket.
September 14, 2025 at 5:19 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
saw other Deadlock ship manifestos and thought I should make one as well
Lash/Pocket Manifesto Do they have canon dynamic? no What's the support for this? nothing Fucking why then? never joke about anything
September 11, 2025 at 10:12 PM
robocryptid.bsky.social
Lashbop real?
Lash and Bebop looking like they're kissing in a paused game of Deadlock
September 10, 2025 at 9:50 PM
robocryptid.bsky.social
spotted in the wild: a rare Lash in Superman pose
Jacob Lash from Deadlock caught leaping, nearly horizontal in the air with one arm out and his legs straight behind him
September 9, 2025 at 4:50 AM
robocryptid.bsky.social
remember when I used to make extra salty fandom tweets? what if I brought that energy to bsky? (no current event inspired this. I just rediscovered this in my docs & laughed at how salty it was)
What To Do When A Woman Threatens Your M/M Ship 1. SHIT YOUR PANTS Jump to as many conclusions as possible in a seething panic. Double down if it’s not even canon. 2. NEUTRALIZE Pair her off with the nearest (typically white) woman, so you don’t get lumped in with the more obvious misogynist haters. 3. IGNORE Pretend she does not exist, has never existed. Can be paired with 2, in which case mention them a few times in service to the story about your m/m ship, then forget her. 4. TRASH TALK Make sure you mention how much you hate her as often as possible, in order to form community with other haters and impose this norm, no matter how uncomfortable it may be for folks just trying to enjoy their time in fandom. 5. FIGHT Pick fights with anyone who ships her with your fave(s), especially if there are only a handful of them versus your enormous juggernaut ship. I’m sure it will change their minds. 6. IMAGINE Make up crimes against your ship that she has not committed. Other people will agree, somehow. 7. TERM SEARCH Go looking for things to piss you off. Find them. Whatever you do, don’t just block/mute and move on. No justice will be served that way.
September 2, 2025 at 4:49 PM