Omg Happy Birthday!!🎉

I'm someone who values self-discovery, self-expression, and social connections. Money and a job is important sure. But they shouldn't be the reason you live, I'm pretty damn sure if I asked my family what they strive for they would shrug their shoulders that's kind of just sad

And before it stated or asked, I don't have to pay anything out of pocket for medical stuff at the moment thankfully due to insurance. I thankfully live in a state where they understood that medical coverage for anyone under a certain income bracket it should be available.

The motivation to never want to go back to what I'm leaving. Again I'm sorry this is out of nowhere, I was just reminded of I'm perceived from a conversation I just had with my father. A conversation which was supposed to be about a follow up to a hospital visit I had

I hate how the only feasible option I see to secure a proper happy future for myself right now is to leave my own country. But I'm almost getting too old for work visas like that. Because honestly getting out of this type of environment probably would give me the motivation to try harder.

I know these posts are kind of generally out of nowhere and I promise you they're not the type of thing I like to talk about. I'm just trying my fucking best and apparently that's never good enough for the people I'm supposed to call family. People I don't think I'd contact with if I move out.

As if the failings of economy, housing, job market. Are anything I have control over. I feel bad enough that my younger brother moved out before me. They're constant reminders anytime money comes up that I'm technically a failure for person really does not help with anything.

Any fucking time money comes up he always complains that I'm only working one job or that I'm not trying hard enough. If things actually worked in this country I could probably live with a roommate or something with my current lifestyle. But no I got shit for not trying hard enough

At least that's what it feels like when I talk to my father, my job isn't giving me a lot of hours lately and he's wondering why I'm not working, when I explain he gets kind of irritable and scolds me for not complaining to them that I'm not getting hours. Which sounds like a good way to get fired.

My family, which I still live with due to how poor the economy and housing in my country is. My family unfortunately believes work and money are the only important things in life. If you're not working full time or busting your ass with side hustles. You're not doing life right

I don't really need much to function, like if I was shopping for groceries myself at most I think I'd spend like $150 for 2 weeks, I don't eat a lot. I also don't tend to spend money and try to save it the best I can. So generally speaking money doesn't isn't something that bothers me

I'm more of a night person and actively struggle with getting up early. I'd always struggle to get anything done until I would normally wake up in general. As such I work second shift normally. I could also do overnight but it's almost impossible to find a job for that that isn't full-time

I want to work on vrchat models again as well. Work has been nonstop, and it's been hard to find the time to squeeze it in. It doesn't help that my current project is a gift for someone, so pairing up creative time and time with them is hard. I should start a different project while I wait honestly.

Sorry for the random vent post. I won't make a habit of it.