J!
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riptwitter.lol
J!
@riptwitter.lol
190 followers 490 following 140 posts
Scoots. Skeets. Schedules.
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downwithdan.bsky.social
lol she got his ass and he knows it
Joyce Carol Oates @Joyce... 17h O So curious that such a wealthy man never posts anything that indicates that he enjoys or is even aware of what virtually everyone appreciates— scenes from nature, pet dog or cat, praise for a movie, music, a book (but doubt that he reads); pride in a friend's or relative's accomplishment; condolences for someone who has died; pleasure in sports, acclaim for a favorite team; references to history. In fact he seems totally uneducated, uncultured. The poorest persons on Twitter may have access to more beauty & meaning in life than the "most wealthy person in the world." Elon Musk ' @elonmusk X.com Oates is a liar and delights in being mean. Not a good human.
November 9, 2025 at 3:36 PM
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ceej.online
one thing that's making me feel particularly insane lately is how there is no longer any limit to the amount of wrong you can be
August 8, 2025 at 4:39 PM
riptwitter.lol
Me: (complaining about my upcoming colonoscopy for the eleventh time today)

My wife: My god, you make it sound like nuts are your life!

Me (Goes out to garage, gets in car, shuts door, turns on radio) whispering: Deez nuts.
June 13, 2025 at 3:55 AM
riptwitter.lol
Me: Do you ever think it's weird that in marriage you woo some attractive person away from their friends and family, and then basically keep them in the same building as you for the next fifty years?

My wife: What the fuck...
June 13, 2025 at 2:24 AM
riptwitter.lol
My wife said "Neuro-plasticity".

And then I said: Man, I knew him when he was "Neurotic Plastic City"...
June 13, 2025 at 1:21 AM
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watchnature.bsky.social
Woman discovers her neighbor's corgi was sneaking onto her property at night - to ride her pony!
November 21, 2024 at 2:49 PM
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shutupmikeginn.bsky.social
thinking about drake watching the world series and hearing the big organ play the tune from the song calling him a pedophile
October 26, 2024 at 3:29 AM
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radleybalko.bsky.social
In season 3 of The Bear, Carmy’s modest success turns him into a self absorbed, tortured artist whose need for his genius to be recognized results in self-sabotage, alienating his admirers, and him utterly losing the plot.

Which is also what happened to the writers of season 3 of The Bear.
September 16, 2024 at 12:50 AM
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tomtomorrow.bsky.social
Hey so I'm going to need to push the ol' newsletter subscription for a bit because the media landscape is really getting rough and it looks like I'm taking another hit on the near horizon and I would *really* like to keep doing this work. thismodernworld.com/subscriptions
Subscriptions – THIS MODERN WORLD
thismodernworld.com
August 27, 2024 at 12:03 AM
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mobute.bsky.social
Time to drop in on the legacy media fact-check of the DNC.
A screen grab from the Simpsons: Bart is standing in front of an animatronic Smokey the Bear with a speaker on it, which is asking him Smokey the Bear's signature question: "Only WHO can prevent forest fires?" A screen grab from the Simpsons: There are two buttons in front of the animatronic Smokey the Bear, "You" and "Me." Bart reaches out and presses the "You" button to complete Smokey's catchphrase: "Only YOU can prevent forest fires." A screen grab from the Simpsons: Bart is immediately corrected by the animatronic Smokey the Bear, who tells him: "You pressed 'You', referring to me. That is incorrect. The correct answer is You."
August 23, 2024 at 12:13 PM
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bencollins.bsky.social
Trump aide: sir, people are calling your ticket a weird freakshow. how do we signal to voters you're a normal guy with regular friends?
August 6, 2024 at 6:56 PM
riptwitter.lol
Donated $100 here secure.actblue.com

Let's fucking go.
July 21, 2024 at 10:46 PM
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juniorhoncho.bsky.social
mr ed opening credits: 🎶 a horse is a horse of course of course 🎶

me (hitting pause because i noticed you looking at your phone): hey man seriously you gotta listen to this next part
March 9, 2024 at 4:49 AM
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hamiltonnolan.bsky.social
The thing about having a national identity founded on a myth is that you open the door for lies to take over everything.
www.hamiltonnolan.com/p/stupid-power
Stupid Power
Deluding ourselves about America's delusions.
www.hamiltonnolan.com
February 25, 2024 at 4:21 PM
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gonebabygone.bsky.social
Donald Trump has been found guilty of getting a woman to put $50,000 in a shoebox by pretending to be a CIA agent
February 16, 2024 at 9:36 PM
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fightingbaseball94.bsky.social
EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS EXORCIST III: LEGION AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE THE WHOLE FAMILY STARTS DOING THE MOVES
December 25, 2023 at 6:59 PM
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elizabethdavis.bsky.social
dudes have all these fantasies about femme fatales setting up honey traps and IRL it's just some lady in her apartment in her sweats texting "oh wow, interesting" until they admit to federal crimes
marisakabas.bsky.social Marisa Kabas @marisakabas.bsky.social · Dec 20
if bumble was around in 1963 we’d know who shot JFK

www.nbcnews.com/politics/jus...
" felt a bit of 'civic duty' I guess, but truthfully, I was mostly just mad and thinking, f--- these guys," she said, speaking anonymously for fear of online reprisal. Her strategy, she said, was saying "Wow, crazy, tell me more" to guys on repeat until they gave her enough for her to send their information to the FBI.
December 20, 2023 at 9:49 PM
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bencollins.bsky.social
I genuinely think people on this site should run for office. There are a lot of people on here who know exactly how. The internet’s dying, the world is wide open, use this place to learn how to make your community better and go do it, imo.
December 21, 2023 at 3:41 AM
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jonbois.bsky.social
i just did some poking around in twitter's API and found some stuff that's ... *interesting*, to say the least
screenshot of mac’s terminal window in which i have typed in the commands “go to twitter,” “download api,” “list interesting things from api,” “is there anything super fucked up in it,” “nevermind,” “log on to all satellites,” “scan planet earth,” “scan for buried treasure or old dinosaur bones or whatever within 100 feet of my current location,” “scan again,” “scan again to make sure,” “scan again using technology,” “belay that order,” and “download cool rap”
December 12, 2023 at 8:42 PM
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radleybalko.bsky.social
A right-wing libertarian who was furious with me for supporting immigration claimed I lied about having a column with Forbes (I actually claimed I wrote a column for Fox News, which I did). He then claimed I was lying because the Fox search tool only returned five articles by me. He didn’t …
December 9, 2023 at 11:37 PM
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alexblechman.bsky.social
Every year Thanksgiving devolves into a huge argument between the family members that think Tom Bombadil is a superfluous tangent and those shouting he’s essential LOTR worldbuilding
November 23, 2023 at 4:36 PM
riptwitter.lol
Dennis Lee out there pushing the envelope again... Hot Dog Smashburger
open.substack.com/pub/foodisst...
November 17, 2023 at 5:51 PM
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antlervel.vet
ME SOWING: I love being a mischievous boiled egg haha
ME REAPING: Ah man I’m sorry for being a mischievous boiled egg earlier
October 28, 2023 at 12:05 AM