I didn't like Austria, but, fuck, I'm rooting for them now. #Eurovision

Sainsbury's chucking 3000 staff whilst declaring expected profits of over 1 billion quid is fucking scandalous. To blame it on the budget is just clearly bollocks. Get in the fucking bin.

We're making all your websites shitty and evil. What are you gonna do, log off and spend time with your family

In his first year of test cricket, Gus Atkinson has taken a 5 wicket haul, a ten wicket haul, a test century and a test hattrick. Easy game innit Gus...?

What if I told you that the only reason I am bald is that I’m afraid of a Ratatouille situation? What if I told you that I’d have so much hair if not for the fear of a rat using me like a puppet? These are modes of control, Neo. This is how they manipulate us. Ratatouilles, Neo. Rats that pull hair.

#SAFC on top till the red card changed the game, lost all sorts of momentum. #SHU red evened game up, but once again looked 2nd best in 2nd half.

Going on Twitter now feels unmistakably like watching Uncut Gems.