Retsoor
@retsoor.bsky.social
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the calls are coming from inside the jerk store
November 12, 2025 at 7:54 PM
the calls are coming from inside the jerk store
are you there god? it's me, the jerk store
November 12, 2025 at 7:53 PM
are you there god? it's me, the jerk store
trebek: this mysterious business can never seem to keep you in stock
contestant: what is the jerk store
contestant: what is the jerk store
November 12, 2025 at 7:52 PM
trebek: this mysterious business can never seem to keep you in stock
contestant: what is the jerk store
contestant: what is the jerk store
what do we want?
to be free of desire
when do we want it?
*confused murmuring*
to be free of desire
when do we want it?
*confused murmuring*
November 12, 2025 at 4:05 AM
what do we want?
to be free of desire
when do we want it?
*confused murmuring*
to be free of desire
when do we want it?
*confused murmuring*
what do we want? time travel when do we want it? *confused murmuring*
November 12, 2025 at 2:12 AM
what do we want? time travel when do we want it? *confused murmuring*
pro tip: burn the land around the bridges too
November 12, 2025 at 12:18 AM
pro tip: burn the land around the bridges too
honk if every time there is a day & every day there is a time
November 11, 2025 at 5:00 AM
honk if every time there is a day & every day there is a time
pulling a lazy boy back forever but only the feeling
November 11, 2025 at 1:48 AM
pulling a lazy boy back forever but only the feeling
you: [anxious] hi
them: [confident, everything in its right place, well parented, balanced worldview, genetically tip top, groomed, nutrient dense, hydrated, civic minded, spiritually connected to a community that fosters security & a general sense of purpose] hey
them: [confident, everything in its right place, well parented, balanced worldview, genetically tip top, groomed, nutrient dense, hydrated, civic minded, spiritually connected to a community that fosters security & a general sense of purpose] hey
November 10, 2025 at 10:18 PM
you: [anxious] hi
them: [confident, everything in its right place, well parented, balanced worldview, genetically tip top, groomed, nutrient dense, hydrated, civic minded, spiritually connected to a community that fosters security & a general sense of purpose] hey
them: [confident, everything in its right place, well parented, balanced worldview, genetically tip top, groomed, nutrient dense, hydrated, civic minded, spiritually connected to a community that fosters security & a general sense of purpose] hey
nice suffering, sure would be a shame if someone recontextualized it
November 10, 2025 at 5:09 AM
nice suffering, sure would be a shame if someone recontextualized it
what do we want? mutual coital timing when do we want it? wait not yet
November 10, 2025 at 2:15 AM
what do we want? mutual coital timing when do we want it? wait not yet
yeah sex is great but have you ever thought the same 5 things over & over for 80 yrs
November 10, 2025 at 1:55 AM
yeah sex is great but have you ever thought the same 5 things over & over for 80 yrs
sorry I added “it is what it is” to your eulogy
November 10, 2025 at 1:36 AM
sorry I added “it is what it is” to your eulogy
[re: math] measure this
November 9, 2025 at 9:30 PM
[re: math] measure this
honk if the best indication of intelligence is wishing you were dumber
November 9, 2025 at 3:26 AM
honk if the best indication of intelligence is wishing you were dumber
a smart car that drives ironically
November 9, 2025 at 2:01 AM
a smart car that drives ironically
what do we want
a shred of dignity as time disassembles our lives
when do we want it
moving forward
a shred of dignity as time disassembles our lives
when do we want it
moving forward
November 8, 2025 at 2:41 AM
what do we want
a shred of dignity as time disassembles our lives
when do we want it
moving forward
a shred of dignity as time disassembles our lives
when do we want it
moving forward
a car so smart it’s sad
November 8, 2025 at 1:04 AM
a car so smart it’s sad
barkeep: what’ll it be
you: sad
you: sad
November 7, 2025 at 10:42 PM
barkeep: what’ll it be
you: sad
you: sad
life hack: do what you would imagine a smarter version of yourself doing
November 7, 2025 at 12:45 AM
life hack: do what you would imagine a smarter version of yourself doing
the best american short stories 2025 but each story is a spice
toothpaste that tastes like saying “the big boys” as an adult
incense that smells like thinking you know someone but really don’t
the color of meeting someone’s eye by accident
a blue razz crush
toothpaste that tastes like saying “the big boys” as an adult
incense that smells like thinking you know someone but really don’t
the color of meeting someone’s eye by accident
a blue razz crush
November 6, 2025 at 10:32 PM
the best american short stories 2025 but each story is a spice
toothpaste that tastes like saying “the big boys” as an adult
incense that smells like thinking you know someone but really don’t
the color of meeting someone’s eye by accident
a blue razz crush
toothpaste that tastes like saying “the big boys” as an adult
incense that smells like thinking you know someone but really don’t
the color of meeting someone’s eye by accident
a blue razz crush
the boys: *search endlessly*
town: *illusory concept that is impossible to return to*
town: *illusory concept that is impossible to return to*
November 6, 2025 at 3:21 PM
the boys: *search endlessly*
town: *illusory concept that is impossible to return to*
town: *illusory concept that is impossible to return to*
an orgasm like the momentary gap in the rain beneath an overpass
November 6, 2025 at 1:58 AM
an orgasm like the momentary gap in the rain beneath an overpass
a horse wearing a tandem horse costume
November 5, 2025 at 5:27 AM
a horse wearing a tandem horse costume