Reluctant Leadership
@reluctantleadership.substack.com
Reluctant Leadership is for engineers who accidentally became managers. Honest reflections, mildly unhinged ramblings, and practical advice on leading humans without losing your mind or credibility. The hardest part of tech is people.
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Reluctant Leadership Engineering Manager OS Template | Notion Marketplace
A Notion operating system to help you transition seamlessly into effective leadership while staying true to your technical roots. With practical insights and relatable experiences, you will lead teams...
www.notion.com
Lead with confidence.
The Reluctant Leadership Engineering Manager OS is now available as a Notion template, making it easier than ever to use.
www.notion.com/en-gb/templa...
The Reluctant Leadership Engineering Manager OS is now available as a Notion template, making it easier than ever to use.
www.notion.com/en-gb/templa...
Lead with confidence.
The Reluctant Leadership Engineering Manager OS is now available as a Notion template, making it easier than ever to use.
www.notion.com/en-gb/templa...
The Reluctant Leadership Engineering Manager OS is now available as a Notion template, making it easier than ever to use.
www.notion.com/en-gb/templa...
Reluctant Leadership Engineering Manager OS Template | Notion Marketplace
A Notion operating system to help you transition seamlessly into effective leadership while staying true to your technical roots. With practical insights and relatable experiences, you will lead teams...
www.notion.com
November 22, 2025 at 11:36 AM
Lead with confidence.
The Reluctant Leadership Engineering Manager OS is now available as a Notion template, making it easier than ever to use.
www.notion.com/en-gb/templa...
The Reluctant Leadership Engineering Manager OS is now available as a Notion template, making it easier than ever to use.
www.notion.com/en-gb/templa...
Some managers give instructions.
The best managers create the conditions for insight.
If you’ve ever watched someone excitedly pitch your own idea back to you, you’ll recognise the dynamic.
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
The best managers create the conditions for insight.
If you’ve ever watched someone excitedly pitch your own idea back to you, you’ll recognise the dynamic.
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
Leading People to Their Own Best Ideas
Some managers give instructions - The most effective ones help people reach their own best ideas - Here’s how to lead without taking over.
open.substack.com
November 15, 2025 at 2:51 PM
Some managers give instructions.
The best managers create the conditions for insight.
If you’ve ever watched someone excitedly pitch your own idea back to you, you’ll recognise the dynamic.
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
The best managers create the conditions for insight.
If you’ve ever watched someone excitedly pitch your own idea back to you, you’ll recognise the dynamic.
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
The Engineering Manager OS is the guide I wish I’d had when I started.
It’s the antidote to management by accident.
This system was built in Notion, refined in the field, and shaped by years of real mistakes.
It’s live now, available here:
reluctantleadership.gumroad.com/l/engineerin...
It’s the antidote to management by accident.
This system was built in Notion, refined in the field, and shaped by years of real mistakes.
It’s live now, available here:
reluctantleadership.gumroad.com/l/engineerin...
Reluctant Leadership - Engineering Manager OS
This Engineering Manager OS is a complete Notion workspace built to help you lead with calm and clarity.If you’ve ever thought “I was good at engineering, but now I just do meetings and therapy sessio...
reluctantleadership.gumroad.com
November 5, 2025 at 8:56 AM
The Engineering Manager OS is the guide I wish I’d had when I started.
It’s the antidote to management by accident.
This system was built in Notion, refined in the field, and shaped by years of real mistakes.
It’s live now, available here:
reluctantleadership.gumroad.com/l/engineerin...
It’s the antidote to management by accident.
This system was built in Notion, refined in the field, and shaped by years of real mistakes.
It’s live now, available here:
reluctantleadership.gumroad.com/l/engineerin...
Being an EM at a startup means projecting calm while quietly questioning your life choices. You’re not in control. You’re a therapist, a firefighter, and somehow, an island of stability in a sea of chaos. Most days.
Read the new blog: open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
Read the new blog: open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
October 28, 2025 at 9:25 PM
Being an EM at a startup means projecting calm while quietly questioning your life choices. You’re not in control. You’re a therapist, a firefighter, and somehow, an island of stability in a sea of chaos. Most days.
Read the new blog: open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
Read the new blog: open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
Engineering management isn’t just delivery and systems.
It’s emotional triage, surprise resignations, and digging in when someone says “I’m fine” (they’re not).
You’re not a trained therapist. But you might as well be.
📖 Read the full post: reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-engine...
It’s emotional triage, surprise resignations, and digging in when someone says “I’m fine” (they’re not).
You’re not a trained therapist. But you might as well be.
📖 Read the full post: reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-engine...
September 3, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Engineering management isn’t just delivery and systems.
It’s emotional triage, surprise resignations, and digging in when someone says “I’m fine” (they’re not).
You’re not a trained therapist. But you might as well be.
📖 Read the full post: reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-engine...
It’s emotional triage, surprise resignations, and digging in when someone says “I’m fine” (they’re not).
You’re not a trained therapist. But you might as well be.
📖 Read the full post: reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-engine...
Back from a summer break with a deep dive into how engineering teams can reach consensus without chaos. A guide to structured collaboration, decision milestones, and empowered team culture. reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/engineered...
Engineered Collaboration: A User Guide to Consent-based Decisions
How engineering teams can reach consensus without chaos. A guide to structured collaboration, decision milestones, and empowered team culture.
reluctantleadership.substack.com
August 24, 2025 at 12:46 PM
Back from a summer break with a deep dive into how engineering teams can reach consensus without chaos. A guide to structured collaboration, decision milestones, and empowered team culture. reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/engineered...
We're 10 articles into the Reluctant Leadership journey, so it's time for a review. Hopefully you'll find something that resonates with you.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/ten-reluct...
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/ten-reluct...
Ten Reluctant Articles: The Journey So Far
Reluctant Leadership - The hardest part of tech is people
reluctantleadership.substack.com
August 6, 2025 at 9:45 PM
We're 10 articles into the Reluctant Leadership journey, so it's time for a review. Hopefully you'll find something that resonates with you.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/ten-reluct...
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/ten-reluct...
Glue: The Hidden Work of Holding People Together
Grease: The Unsexy Art of Removing Friction
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
Grease: The Unsexy Art of Removing Friction
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
Be the Glue. Be the Grease
You’re promoted. No training. Your job? Unblock people. Deliver outcomes. What does that even mean? Reluctant Leadership - The hardest part of tech is people.
open.substack.com
July 30, 2025 at 6:44 PM
Glue: The Hidden Work of Holding People Together
Grease: The Unsexy Art of Removing Friction
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
Grease: The Unsexy Art of Removing Friction
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
As engineers and managers, we think we build systems with our technical skills.
We don’t.
We build them on a foundation of influence.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/concentric...
We don’t.
We build them on a foundation of influence.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/concentric...
Concentric Circles of Influence
Reluctant Leadership - The hardest part of tech is people
reluctantleadership.substack.com
July 23, 2025 at 5:28 PM
As engineers and managers, we think we build systems with our technical skills.
We don’t.
We build them on a foundation of influence.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/concentric...
We don’t.
We build them on a foundation of influence.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/concentric...
Empathy isn’t a vibe, it's a skill. One that gets sharper when we start managing like human beings.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/empathy-is...
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/empathy-is...
Empathy is not a soft skill. It's sharp
Reluctant Leadership - The hardest part of tech is people
reluctantleadership.substack.com
July 9, 2025 at 7:17 PM
Empathy isn’t a vibe, it's a skill. One that gets sharper when we start managing like human beings.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/empathy-is...
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/empathy-is...
Are you articulate and confident in meetings, but secretly counting the hours until you can stop talking?
You might have Functional Introvert Manager Syndrome.
A painfully real post on emotional energy, and sticking your head in the freezer.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/functional...
You might have Functional Introvert Manager Syndrome.
A painfully real post on emotional energy, and sticking your head in the freezer.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/functional...
Functional Introvert Manager Syndrome: Are You A Sufferer?
Reluctant Leadership - The hardest part of tech is people
reluctantleadership.substack.com
July 3, 2025 at 6:10 PM
Are you articulate and confident in meetings, but secretly counting the hours until you can stop talking?
You might have Functional Introvert Manager Syndrome.
A painfully real post on emotional energy, and sticking your head in the freezer.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/functional...
You might have Functional Introvert Manager Syndrome.
A painfully real post on emotional energy, and sticking your head in the freezer.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/functional...
The tech job market is brutal right now. The silver lining? Most CVs are… shockingly bad.
That means you don’t need gimmicks. You don’t need to print your CV on a watermelon. You just need to make it easy for hiring managers to say yes.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/most-cvs-a...
That means you don’t need gimmicks. You don’t need to print your CV on a watermelon. You just need to make it easy for hiring managers to say yes.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/most-cvs-a...
Most CVs Are Terrible. Write One That Isn’t
Reluctant Leadership - The hardest part of tech is people
reluctantleadership.substack.com
June 25, 2025 at 7:13 PM
The tech job market is brutal right now. The silver lining? Most CVs are… shockingly bad.
That means you don’t need gimmicks. You don’t need to print your CV on a watermelon. You just need to make it easy for hiring managers to say yes.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/most-cvs-a...
That means you don’t need gimmicks. You don’t need to print your CV on a watermelon. You just need to make it easy for hiring managers to say yes.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/most-cvs-a...
It’s not about loving the stage, it’s about surviving it.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/reluctant-...
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/reluctant-...
Reluctant Speaking: Surviving the Stage as a Functioning Introvert
Reluctant Leadership - The hardest part of tech is people
reluctantleadership.substack.com
June 19, 2025 at 7:31 PM
It’s not about loving the stage, it’s about surviving it.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/reluctant-...
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/reluctant-...
In my latest post, we explore the Anti-Mentor: the purest source of information about how not to lead.
Be less Bernard.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-anti-m...
Be less Bernard.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-anti-m...
The Anti-Mentor as Leadership Guru
Reluctant Leadership - The hardest part of tech is people
reluctantleadership.substack.com
June 16, 2025 at 6:59 PM
In my latest post, we explore the Anti-Mentor: the purest source of information about how not to lead.
Be less Bernard.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-anti-m...
Be less Bernard.
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-anti-m...
What if there were one thing you could do to go from good manager to great? One simple change to unlock your team’s full potential?
Well, there isn’t. That’s a ridiculous idea.
But there is something better.
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
Well, there isn’t. That’s a ridiculous idea.
But there is something better.
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
Being a Force Multiplier
Reluctant Leadership - The hardest part of tech is people
open.substack.com
June 12, 2025 at 4:17 PM
What if there were one thing you could do to go from good manager to great? One simple change to unlock your team’s full potential?
Well, there isn’t. That’s a ridiculous idea.
But there is something better.
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
Well, there isn’t. That’s a ridiculous idea.
But there is something better.
open.substack.com/pub/reluctan...
Bonus post today to get things rolling.
"You go from one role where you are a respected and skilled subject matter expert, into a new role where you have to start again in so many ways. It’s no surprise that it's an unsettling experience."
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-identi...
"You go from one role where you are a respected and skilled subject matter expert, into a new role where you have to start again in so many ways. It’s no surprise that it's an unsettling experience."
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-identi...
The Identity Crisis That Awaits Every New Manager
Reluctant Leadership - The hardest part of tech is people
reluctantleadership.substack.com
June 10, 2025 at 8:18 AM
Bonus post today to get things rolling.
"You go from one role where you are a respected and skilled subject matter expert, into a new role where you have to start again in so many ways. It’s no surprise that it's an unsettling experience."
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-identi...
"You go from one role where you are a respected and skilled subject matter expert, into a new role where you have to start again in so many ways. It’s no surprise that it's an unsettling experience."
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/the-identi...
It's launch day! How does the Peter Principle, functional introversion and fish-shaped empathy all affect you as a new manager? Find out in the first of my new series:
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/what-i-wis...
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/what-i-wis...
What I Wish I Knew as a First-Time Manager
Reluctant Leadership - The hardest part of tech is people
reluctantleadership.substack.com
June 10, 2025 at 8:12 AM
It's launch day! How does the Peter Principle, functional introversion and fish-shaped empathy all affect you as a new manager? Find out in the first of my new series:
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/what-i-wis...
reluctantleadership.substack.com/p/what-i-wis...