If my country is being ruled by the literal Burgermeister Meisterburger telling children they can’t have toys, where the HELL is my adorable penguin sidekick

May his first day in hell last ten thousand years, and may it be the shortest.

The energy I need to see right now is how when Walter Peck shuts down the protection grid and then tries to blame the Ghostbusters for the mess he caused, Spengler roars “YOUR MOTHER” and lunges for him like a total boss. We need Egon right now, not Elon.

That’s right. 🇺🇦

Okay but when March came in like a lion this year I wanted Simba, not Scar

Слава Україні. 💙💛🇺🇦

I’ve always had a little travel anxiety, but for today’s trip I decided to take a page out of @pushinguproses.bsky.social ‘s book and ask myself, WWJD?

What Would Jessica Do?

(I LOVE that this novelization includes one of my favorite episodes, It’s a Dog’s Life. “That’s insane! Teddy’s a dog!”)

If history is doomed to repeat itself, bring on the beheadings!

Woke up from a nap to realize my internet is out, but a belated birthday present from myself, to myself, arrived just in the nick of time!

It’s my birthday, she wrote!

Every heart that bleeds right now is an anglerfish persisting towards the light.

@drpepperofficial.bsky.social where has this flavor been all my life

I don’t know if Crystalis is the best or worst game to be playing right now.

I’ve never asked this question more seriously in my life.

Can you tell me how to get, how to get to Sesame Street?

I know things would look friendlier there.

Maybe the reason we love Iron Man so much is the reason anyone loves comic books—we want to believe in the fantastic, the magical, the unbelievable, the impossible; we want to see the things we’d never see in real life.

You know, like a billionaire who isn’t a complete and total piece of shit.

Lord, here comes the flood
We’ll say goodbye to flesh and blood
If again the seas are silent in any still alive
It’ll be those who gave their island to survive
Drink up, dreamers, you’re running dry

I hope this helps clear up what just happened. It is short, free, and sourced.

I’m an executive assistant, & I’ve seen how people who own sports teams & have private jets & are never told no treat people. I’ve seen how they treated my coworkers. I saw how they treated me.

Everyone should be an EA to a rich person for 2 years. It’s the ultimate cure for idolizing them.

So many people posting about A Game right now but no one is being specific about what teams are playing or even what sport it is, can you all let me know which of you are watching hockey so I know what posts to care about please

Hello. My name is Natasha, and as I acclimate to this bluer sky I will be recycling what I consider the best bad jokes I posted on Threads here until I run out and have to come up with new bad jokes.