Skipper
@rascalking.bsky.social
Tiki Bar Owner — E-Fed Enjoyer — California Native in The Queen City
#OnePride 🦁
(He/They) 🏳️🌈
#OnePride 🦁
(He/They) 🏳️🌈
FDA banned caffeinated alcoholic drinks in 2010 after teenagers kept getting heart attacks from knocking back Four Lokos.
October 31, 2025 at 2:19 PM
FDA banned caffeinated alcoholic drinks in 2010 after teenagers kept getting heart attacks from knocking back Four Lokos.
As a tiki bar owner, I feel so represented by this post 🙏. What rums did you use?
October 29, 2025 at 4:10 PM
As a tiki bar owner, I feel so represented by this post 🙏. What rums did you use?
P.S. I'm stealing that mask from your estate when the lawyers aren't looking, and you know I deserve it.
October 8, 2025 at 10:16 PM
P.S. I'm stealing that mask from your estate when the lawyers aren't looking, and you know I deserve it.
I'm gonna have a shot in your honor. And I'm sure you're laughing in Hell about that in between screaming about how unacceptable the smell and grime are.
October 8, 2025 at 10:15 PM
I'm gonna have a shot in your honor. And I'm sure you're laughing in Hell about that in between screaming about how unacceptable the smell and grime are.
RIP you miserable old banshee.
You were equally magnificent and wretched, and as you slipped into the void and had that moment your third eye opened and you could read the cosmic universal matrix, I hope you learned I respected and admired you as much as I loathed you.
You were equally magnificent and wretched, and as you slipped into the void and had that moment your third eye opened and you could read the cosmic universal matrix, I hope you learned I respected and admired you as much as I loathed you.
October 8, 2025 at 10:14 PM
RIP you miserable old banshee.
You were equally magnificent and wretched, and as you slipped into the void and had that moment your third eye opened and you could read the cosmic universal matrix, I hope you learned I respected and admired you as much as I loathed you.
You were equally magnificent and wretched, and as you slipped into the void and had that moment your third eye opened and you could read the cosmic universal matrix, I hope you learned I respected and admired you as much as I loathed you.
And now she's gone. She wanted to be cremated — she loved orchids so much, she insisted her body should become greenhouse gases.
Her idiot bio family are spreading her ashes at sea, which is lmfao because she *hated* the beach and ocean. Punting her urn into the Canyon would've been better.
Her idiot bio family are spreading her ashes at sea, which is lmfao because she *hated* the beach and ocean. Punting her urn into the Canyon would've been better.
October 8, 2025 at 10:12 PM
And now she's gone. She wanted to be cremated — she loved orchids so much, she insisted her body should become greenhouse gases.
Her idiot bio family are spreading her ashes at sea, which is lmfao because she *hated* the beach and ocean. Punting her urn into the Canyon would've been better.
Her idiot bio family are spreading her ashes at sea, which is lmfao because she *hated* the beach and ocean. Punting her urn into the Canyon would've been better.
Her bio family, who never saw her, descended like vultures when she was still on the slab. They came lawyered up expecting to sue because Pops would inherit.
When they heard it was all going to charity, they were like, "Wow, she was always so magnanimous. So inspiring."
When they heard it was all going to charity, they were like, "Wow, she was always so magnanimous. So inspiring."
October 8, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Her bio family, who never saw her, descended like vultures when she was still on the slab. They came lawyered up expecting to sue because Pops would inherit.
When they heard it was all going to charity, they were like, "Wow, she was always so magnanimous. So inspiring."
When they heard it was all going to charity, they were like, "Wow, she was always so magnanimous. So inspiring."
In the will was a hefty paragraph about how we weren't her bio family and we didn't visit her enough, so we could all go fuck ourselves.
Written eight years ago and never updated, as my folks bent backwards to make her feel less alone after Grandpa died.
And honestly? Fucking hilarious.
Written eight years ago and never updated, as my folks bent backwards to make her feel less alone after Grandpa died.
And honestly? Fucking hilarious.
October 8, 2025 at 10:00 PM
In the will was a hefty paragraph about how we weren't her bio family and we didn't visit her enough, so we could all go fuck ourselves.
Written eight years ago and never updated, as my folks bent backwards to make her feel less alone after Grandpa died.
And honestly? Fucking hilarious.
Written eight years ago and never updated, as my folks bent backwards to make her feel less alone after Grandpa died.
And honestly? Fucking hilarious.
After the passed, the will showed that if my grandfather (who was in a hostel for late stage dementia) outlived her, the estate would be split amongst his children —
If she outlived him (she did), it would all go to "charity". By that I mean the Malibu Orchid Society and NatGeo
If she outlived him (she did), it would all go to "charity". By that I mean the Malibu Orchid Society and NatGeo
October 8, 2025 at 9:58 PM
After the passed, the will showed that if my grandfather (who was in a hostel for late stage dementia) outlived her, the estate would be split amongst his children —
If she outlived him (she did), it would all go to "charity". By that I mean the Malibu Orchid Society and NatGeo
If she outlived him (she did), it would all go to "charity". By that I mean the Malibu Orchid Society and NatGeo
Sounds awesome, yeah? I always really admired and respected her for being so unapologetically herself, no matter what an asshole that was.
But there's the nasty side of this. She sued my aunt (not her biochild) over something dumb just because she wanted to reroof her house for free.
But there's the nasty side of this. She sued my aunt (not her biochild) over something dumb just because she wanted to reroof her house for free.
October 8, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Sounds awesome, yeah? I always really admired and respected her for being so unapologetically herself, no matter what an asshole that was.
But there's the nasty side of this. She sued my aunt (not her biochild) over something dumb just because she wanted to reroof her house for free.
But there's the nasty side of this. She sued my aunt (not her biochild) over something dumb just because she wanted to reroof her house for free.
We were fairly convinced this 89-year-old demon was never going to die. I'm pretty sure Death had to catch her sleeping and she did NOT go softly into that good night.
October 8, 2025 at 9:49 PM
We were fairly convinced this 89-year-old demon was never going to die. I'm pretty sure Death had to catch her sleeping and she did NOT go softly into that good night.
But the house? Totally fine. Her neighbors? All gone. Hers? Pristine.
Why?
Because that fucking glass fence acted as a fireproof barrier to shield her place from the burning winds while her hated neighbor's house burned to the ground. Spite and pettiness saved this woman.
Why?
Because that fucking glass fence acted as a fireproof barrier to shield her place from the burning winds while her hated neighbor's house burned to the ground. Spite and pettiness saved this woman.
October 8, 2025 at 9:47 PM
But the house? Totally fine. Her neighbors? All gone. Hers? Pristine.
Why?
Because that fucking glass fence acted as a fireproof barrier to shield her place from the burning winds while her hated neighbor's house burned to the ground. Spite and pettiness saved this woman.
Why?
Because that fucking glass fence acted as a fireproof barrier to shield her place from the burning winds while her hated neighbor's house burned to the ground. Spite and pettiness saved this woman.
When the Palisades Fires happened, her neighborhood got FUCKED. I mean it was like 70% gone.
My parents ended up finding her in some FEMA tent on the beach after being forcibly evacuated from her home. She gave more of a fuck about the orchids than herself.
My parents ended up finding her in some FEMA tent on the beach after being forcibly evacuated from her home. She gave more of a fuck about the orchids than herself.
October 8, 2025 at 9:46 PM
When the Palisades Fires happened, her neighborhood got FUCKED. I mean it was like 70% gone.
My parents ended up finding her in some FEMA tent on the beach after being forcibly evacuated from her home. She gave more of a fuck about the orchids than herself.
My parents ended up finding her in some FEMA tent on the beach after being forcibly evacuated from her home. She gave more of a fuck about the orchids than herself.
She did all her own housework. I don't mean chores, I meant plumbing and electric, too. She once told me, "Never pay anyone to do anything you can do yourself — that's not only how you go into financial debt but character debt"
October 8, 2025 at 9:45 PM
She did all her own housework. I don't mean chores, I meant plumbing and electric, too. She once told me, "Never pay anyone to do anything you can do yourself — that's not only how you go into financial debt but character debt"
She didn't have a cellphone. She had a desktop computer with plug-in internet, so you bet your ass you didn't get wifi at the house. She had email, but she would be righteously pissed if you sent her any casual correspondence through email rather than an actual written letter.
October 8, 2025 at 9:43 PM
She didn't have a cellphone. She had a desktop computer with plug-in internet, so you bet your ass you didn't get wifi at the house. She had email, but she would be righteously pissed if you sent her any casual correspondence through email rather than an actual written letter.
She hated kids. And she grew Spanish Moss. Sound unrelated? She told me that her dream was one night to cover herself with the moss and ride naked on a horse through the neighborhood, screaming like a banshee to terrify any children who looked out their window.
October 8, 2025 at 9:41 PM
She hated kids. And she grew Spanish Moss. Sound unrelated? She told me that her dream was one night to cover herself with the moss and ride naked on a horse through the neighborhood, screaming like a banshee to terrify any children who looked out their window.
Her house was basically a museum of my grandparents' travels. As a kid, you don't appreciate this and are bored/squirrely.
One time she marched me up to a Rangda mask she had from Bali and said if I didn't behave it would come to life at night and eat me. That mask looks like this:
One time she marched me up to a Rangda mask she had from Bali and said if I didn't behave it would come to life at night and eat me. That mask looks like this:
October 8, 2025 at 9:40 PM
Her house was basically a museum of my grandparents' travels. As a kid, you don't appreciate this and are bored/squirrely.
One time she marched me up to a Rangda mask she had from Bali and said if I didn't behave it would come to life at night and eat me. That mask looks like this:
One time she marched me up to a Rangda mask she had from Bali and said if I didn't behave it would come to life at night and eat me. That mask looks like this:
She told her neighbor if he didn't build a fence, she'd go skinny dipping in his pool every morning until he did. Trust me, this woman *meant it*.
He didn't want to ruin his view of the ocean, so he built a glass fence. More on that later.
He didn't want to ruin his view of the ocean, so he built a glass fence. More on that later.
October 8, 2025 at 9:29 PM
She told her neighbor if he didn't build a fence, she'd go skinny dipping in his pool every morning until he did. Trust me, this woman *meant it*.
He didn't want to ruin his view of the ocean, so he built a glass fence. More on that later.
He didn't want to ruin his view of the ocean, so he built a glass fence. More on that later.
She bought property in Malibu when it was cheap. She had a literal greenhouse in her backyard. The house was on a hill, so the backyard was tiered up to the neighbor's backyard. It had no fence between them until the neighbor's grandkids started climbing down and running around her backyard.
October 8, 2025 at 9:26 PM
She bought property in Malibu when it was cheap. She had a literal greenhouse in her backyard. The house was on a hill, so the backyard was tiered up to the neighbor's backyard. It had no fence between them until the neighbor's grandkids started climbing down and running around her backyard.
Every day for lunch she ate a slice of sourdough bread, avocado spread, a slice of brie, and beansprouts with a cup of instant coffee. Nothing else. For thirty years that was this woman's lunch every day. If you visited her and it was lunch, that's what you got.
October 8, 2025 at 9:24 PM
Every day for lunch she ate a slice of sourdough bread, avocado spread, a slice of brie, and beansprouts with a cup of instant coffee. Nothing else. For thirty years that was this woman's lunch every day. If you visited her and it was lunch, that's what you got.
She moved to America as a teenager. She became a decorator in Malibu, servicing the rich and famous. She met my grandfather, they married, and they toured the world competitively growing orchids.
She was a teetotaling vegetarian who believed in holistic medicine and almost died of flu in Peru.
She was a teetotaling vegetarian who believed in holistic medicine and almost died of flu in Peru.
October 8, 2025 at 9:23 PM
She moved to America as a teenager. She became a decorator in Malibu, servicing the rich and famous. She met my grandfather, they married, and they toured the world competitively growing orchids.
She was a teetotaling vegetarian who believed in holistic medicine and almost died of flu in Peru.
She was a teetotaling vegetarian who believed in holistic medicine and almost died of flu in Peru.
The family was forced to keep a flag of the Reich in their home by law. Her mother told her that when the Reich fell, she'd cut it up to make my grandmother and her sister "two beautiful red dresses".
When the Allies liberated her town, they found the flag and slashed it to ribbons
When the Allies liberated her town, they found the flag and slashed it to ribbons
October 8, 2025 at 9:21 PM
The family was forced to keep a flag of the Reich in their home by law. Her mother told her that when the Reich fell, she'd cut it up to make my grandmother and her sister "two beautiful red dresses".
When the Allies liberated her town, they found the flag and slashed it to ribbons
When the Allies liberated her town, they found the flag and slashed it to ribbons
Gerlinda grew up in a rural town in Germany during WW2. Her father was a pacifist and communist sympathizer who smashed his hand with a hammer so the Nazis couldn't conscript him — they made him drive an ambulance anyway.
She grew up a peasant, having the family farm food stolen by the Nazis.
She grew up a peasant, having the family farm food stolen by the Nazis.
October 8, 2025 at 9:19 PM
Gerlinda grew up in a rural town in Germany during WW2. Her father was a pacifist and communist sympathizer who smashed his hand with a hammer so the Nazis couldn't conscript him — they made him drive an ambulance anyway.
She grew up a peasant, having the family farm food stolen by the Nazis.
She grew up a peasant, having the family farm food stolen by the Nazis.