And if you're sick and tired of marches that go to nowhere and rallies that promise, maybe, somethings while conceding everything,

just remember

🏴‍☠️ Piracy isn't just about the seas.

Your despair and fear and grief and anger do not have to be just yours.

It's important to sit with these feelings WHILE you sit with the numbers. 42 million Americans need 7.8 billion USD collectively by next week.

So whatever you're feeling, trust me, you're not alone.

It's important to remember that. And to sit with that.

Sometimes, you might find anger. Sadness. Grief. Rage.

And sometimes, just sometimes, underneath that panic can be fear too.

We're all watching a live genocide unfold while terr0rists in neck gaiters and blue uniforms roam our street.

Your fear is valid too.

So feel the panic. Feel the despair. Where does it sit in your body. What does it ask you to do? Do you need to curl up and hide? Cry? Do you need to shake and pace and move? Do you need to scream and scream until your throat is hoarse?

And if you're numb, that's ok too

So feel the panic. Feel the despair. Where does it sit in your body. What does it ask you to do? Do you need to curl up and hide? Cry? Do you need to shake and pace and move? Do you need to scream and scream until your throat is hoarse?

And if you're numb, that's ok too

I think despair is an important component of struggle. I don't think we should shy away from it. You can be radicalized and despairing. 42 million people need 7.8 billion USD. These numbers do not count the people who slip through the cracks.

That's a lot. Like, it's a lot.

The panic and agitation in your body is natural. It is natural. A lot of people do not know how to hold this panic. And because a lot of people are caught up in consumerism (including doom scrolling) as a way to pacify this panic, we're naturally led to despair.

Anyway this midnight meandering musing is already too long. I could go on and it would probably make for a decent. But you know *vague gestures*.

Reading is important. Read to diversify your world view if you can. Not just endlessly confirm it.

And it doesn't just happen with theory. Read decolonial fiction. Look up what the comprehension questions are for highschoolers. Apply towards yourself. It's good brain activity.

And like, no offense. But a lot of you read and don't learn. How many of y'all are reading who put on a mask in a meeting and snatch it off the moment you leave the meeting?

I know you've come across the infographics. But you didn't take it seriously. So. Is reading effective?

When people say "I have lived experience", what I hear is: "the contradictions present in my life are heightened and I'm being crushed under the boot. How does reading your tomes bring me immediate material relief?"

And it is an extremely valid Q!

Which is how I return to my first statement. I hate this dichotomy of "I have lived experience, I don't need to read" vs "this is reactionary and anti intellectualism".

Because what it points to is a kind of pervasive cultural confusion and communication breakdown.

People do this in different mediums. Zines. TikTok/IG videos. YouTube. Podcasts. These kinds of teachings and learnings allow people to learn in different mediums, on their own pace.

And it's powerful. Why else would the fascist flood these spaces w/ propaganda?

I'm not very well "theoretically" read. This is a neutral statement, not a value statement. But I've been on Tumblr and Twitter long enough to read people explain things. Some of them will cite theory and break it down. Some people use lived experience to contextualize conversation.

And perhaps it is because of the way I read, and with who, that has really highlighted for me how complex of a matter reading is. And by extension, inaccessible to many.

And it's not that people don't read. They do. On their phones, ppl on average read more than they used to.

The first part is that reading, or the kind of reading Serious Leftists™️ espouse is just not accessible to all. I remember bringing up this question to a movement teacher in 2018 and being extremely dissatisfied with the answer.

And I AM in a reading group so chill on your reaction, please.