Stephen
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qqzm.bsky.social
Stephen
@qqzm.bsky.social
450 followers 600 following 1.4K posts
Chartered imbecile. World lawn darts champion 2014. Former Miss Haven Holidays. Owns UK's largest collection of keys. My username came free in a box of Frosties
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qqzm.bsky.social
In the end, I think I’m going to go for this one that wasn’t one of my original favourites!
A blue zip zag tile pattern with geometric border.
November 24, 2025 at 2:38 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
If it’s out of stock you can get this:
Go Fuck Yourself card game (Jesus Christ expansion)
November 19, 2025 at 8:03 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
Everyone: green label means semi-skimmed
Sainsbury’s: hahaha, gotcha!
A bottle of Sainsbury’s whole milk with a green label
November 14, 2025 at 10:10 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
Post a non-religious photo you think of as holy
A drunken scene with people lying on the street. Police ate d to one of them while a woman watches.
November 11, 2025 at 6:35 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
Riptide by Vance Joy
November 7, 2025 at 3:30 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
I’m trying to choose tiles for my new bathroom floor and I need help! Opinions please on these three:
A green bath in front of a bathroom wall tiled with green, blue, white and peach matt tiles. A tiled bathroom floor with blue stars and pink flowers tessellating. A small wooden table has a bottle, a looter and a bar of soap. A bathroom with a pink bath, golden towel rail, red bath mat and matt pink and blue patterned tiles.
November 3, 2025 at 4:41 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
My Hallowe’en 2025 costume…
Chicken Jockey.
Watch out for the chicken. He looks nice but he has a vicious streak a mile wide.
A man wearing a chicken jockey costume
November 1, 2025 at 2:14 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
Maybe they’re just training an AI
News story about priceless jewels being stolen from the Louvre.
October 20, 2025 at 10:56 AM
qqzm.bsky.social
I should think just one would be enough
A dating advert offering to let you “meet 50+ women online”
October 19, 2025 at 8:17 AM
qqzm.bsky.social
Fixed that for you
Photo of Keir Starmer with the headline “Starmer government not doing anything to help UK citizens”
October 6, 2025 at 9:05 AM
qqzm.bsky.social
This shit is the mad note. I’ve never tried crack cocaine but I’m sure it’s got nothing on this stuff.
Tesco finest cranberry, raisin and cashew bloomer bread
October 5, 2025 at 5:16 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
September 18, 2025 at 8:31 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
Drop some CAPES
A photo of 80s wrestling legend and world’s strongest man, GEOFF CAPES
September 8, 2025 at 6:10 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
A cartoon weasel holding a drill. It is saying “I’m entirely confident that this huge drill will fix everything”
August 28, 2025 at 2:43 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
Forbidden Toblerone
A concrete bike rack with triangular pieces
August 28, 2025 at 7:33 AM
qqzm.bsky.social
Everything I see reminds me of her
A long dark tunnel with a railway line
August 26, 2025 at 4:12 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf, now get ready for…
A man in a purple hat and white long sleeved t shirt riding a wooden goat
August 23, 2025 at 3:49 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
#juxtaposition @sarahgailbrand.com
Two posts about Birmingham right next to each other. One answering the question “what’s the most unexpected place you’ve had sex” and one saying the poster is “off to Birmingham@
August 21, 2025 at 11:26 AM
qqzm.bsky.social
Am I having a stroke?
Sign reads “You cannot not use this except when you can”
July 31, 2025 at 9:35 AM
qqzm.bsky.social
Take the fictional characters quiz and post the first four you know:

openpsychometrics.org/tests/charac...
Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle Christina from Grey’s Anatomy Arthur from Inception Michael from Prison Break
May 18, 2025 at 4:04 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
If you see this, post the most recent photo of yourself from your camera roll.
A man wearing glasses, a boiler suit and rubber gloves is making a disconcerting grin.
May 7, 2025 at 12:14 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
Me: *crosses fingers* “please be Wes Streeting, please be Wes Streeting, please be Wes Streeting”
*clicks link*
“Awwwwwwwwww”
New headline reads “Number 10 won't guarantee future of two cabinet ministers”
May 6, 2025 at 1:09 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
April 25, 2025 at 7:54 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
The fox cubs who live under my shed have been out in the light today
April 25, 2025 at 7:53 PM
qqzm.bsky.social
Google AI imagining a meaning for a made-up phrase. The idiom "that's just like polishing an owl" means something is unnecessary, a waste of time, or a pointless effort because the object is already perfect or doesn't need any improvement. It implies that the effort being put in is misplaced and wouldn't make a difference. Elaboration: The phrase highlights the idea that owls, in many cultures, are seen as symbols of wisdom and knowledge. There-fore, polishing something that's
April 23, 2025 at 5:53 PM