Ruby’s Actual Father
@pupperpapa.bsky.social
Don’t tell her she’s adopted, snitches.
Your least favorite undiscovered shitposter or your money back!
🌈 Ally, BLM, he/him but you can still call me babygirl if we’re doing a bit and it’s funny #CommitToTheBit
Your least favorite undiscovered shitposter or your money back!
🌈 Ally, BLM, he/him but you can still call me babygirl if we’re doing a bit and it’s funny #CommitToTheBit
Pinned
Dentist: *slides machete blade against my gums*
Gums: *bleed*
Dentist: This wouldn’t be happening if you flossed more, filthy animal
Me: Do I get my sticker now?
Dentist: That’ll be $953. Are you available at 6am 26 Wednesdays from today?
Me: That’s kinda early for a date, but maybe 👹
Gums: *bleed*
Dentist: This wouldn’t be happening if you flossed more, filthy animal
Me: Do I get my sticker now?
Dentist: That’ll be $953. Are you available at 6am 26 Wednesdays from today?
Me: That’s kinda early for a date, but maybe 👹
Sign up for a new service, give them your personal info, they get hacked, you get $5 from the class action, repeat until you become a billionaire, create your own service, get people to sign up, get hacked, give everyone $5, repeat until the heat death of the universe or whatever the fuck
July 14, 2025 at 2:03 AM
Sign up for a new service, give them your personal info, they get hacked, you get $5 from the class action, repeat until you become a billionaire, create your own service, get people to sign up, get hacked, give everyone $5, repeat until the heat death of the universe or whatever the fuck
BUT BUT BUT GROCERIES WERE TOO EXPENSIVE 🥲🥲 KAMALA WASNT PROGRESSIVE ENOUGH 🥲🥲 fuck all y’all for not voting blue just because you didn’t want to do it simply to prevent orange slime’s 2nd term. Hop in the Delorean and go back in time and see if you can vote correctly maybe? Place is fucked
January 29, 2025 at 1:07 AM
BUT BUT BUT GROCERIES WERE TOO EXPENSIVE 🥲🥲 KAMALA WASNT PROGRESSIVE ENOUGH 🥲🥲 fuck all y’all for not voting blue just because you didn’t want to do it simply to prevent orange slime’s 2nd term. Hop in the Delorean and go back in time and see if you can vote correctly maybe? Place is fucked
The 80s were 20 years ago. The 90s were less than 10 years ago. 2000 was 50 years ago. 2010 was simply “a strange time.” 2016 was both a million years ago and also literally yesterday. 2020 [REDACTED]. 2021 never happened. 2025 is 1942. Stay saucy fam.
January 28, 2025 at 6:35 PM
The 80s were 20 years ago. The 90s were less than 10 years ago. 2000 was 50 years ago. 2010 was simply “a strange time.” 2016 was both a million years ago and also literally yesterday. 2020 [REDACTED]. 2021 never happened. 2025 is 1942. Stay saucy fam.
Reposted by Ruby’s Actual Father
Wanting to date hot people is weird because they’re the only people that don’t have to be nice or have a personality to have positive experiences in society. I prefer a partner that was ugly in school and is still kind of ugly and acts weird af for this very reason
December 5, 2024 at 1:09 AM
Wanting to date hot people is weird because they’re the only people that don’t have to be nice or have a personality to have positive experiences in society. I prefer a partner that was ugly in school and is still kind of ugly and acts weird af for this very reason
Reposted by Ruby’s Actual Father
Social media is literally just: “bad thing is bad” and softcore porn. We used to rank our friends publicly like a civilized species. The MySpace Top 8 fed families and kept everyone in line. We got to see who was cheating with who on Snapchat in real time. There’s just no accountability these days
December 6, 2024 at 7:21 AM
Social media is literally just: “bad thing is bad” and softcore porn. We used to rank our friends publicly like a civilized species. The MySpace Top 8 fed families and kept everyone in line. We got to see who was cheating with who on Snapchat in real time. There’s just no accountability these days
Reposted by Ruby’s Actual Father
Bangs are great because they hide the part we hate most about people: their brain
December 6, 2024 at 9:32 AM
Bangs are great because they hide the part we hate most about people: their brain
Reposted by Ruby’s Actual Father
ACAB includes anyone who’s mad at me
December 10, 2024 at 7:12 PM
ACAB includes anyone who’s mad at me
Reposted by Ruby’s Actual Father
Dentist: *slides machete blade against my gums*
Gums: *bleed*
Dentist: This wouldn’t be happening if you flossed more, filthy animal
Me: Do I get my sticker now?
Dentist: That’ll be $953. Are you available at 6am 26 Wednesdays from today?
Me: That’s kinda early for a date, but maybe 👹
Gums: *bleed*
Dentist: This wouldn’t be happening if you flossed more, filthy animal
Me: Do I get my sticker now?
Dentist: That’ll be $953. Are you available at 6am 26 Wednesdays from today?
Me: That’s kinda early for a date, but maybe 👹
November 22, 2024 at 7:56 AM
Dentist: *slides machete blade against my gums*
Gums: *bleed*
Dentist: This wouldn’t be happening if you flossed more, filthy animal
Me: Do I get my sticker now?
Dentist: That’ll be $953. Are you available at 6am 26 Wednesdays from today?
Me: That’s kinda early for a date, but maybe 👹
Gums: *bleed*
Dentist: This wouldn’t be happening if you flossed more, filthy animal
Me: Do I get my sticker now?
Dentist: That’ll be $953. Are you available at 6am 26 Wednesdays from today?
Me: That’s kinda early for a date, but maybe 👹
In 1860, The Pony Express delivered messages from coast to coast in roughly 10 days which is about how long it takes to get a text back from someone in 2024! The best traditions carry on for centuries 🤩
December 27, 2024 at 8:25 PM
In 1860, The Pony Express delivered messages from coast to coast in roughly 10 days which is about how long it takes to get a text back from someone in 2024! The best traditions carry on for centuries 🤩
ACAB includes anyone who’s mad at me
December 10, 2024 at 7:12 PM
ACAB includes anyone who’s mad at me
A Netflix show where contestants issue an ultimatum to their current partner where they have to get married or make a replica of their partner using cake blindfolded. The Ultimatum: Is Love Cake Blind?
December 9, 2024 at 8:12 PM
A Netflix show where contestants issue an ultimatum to their current partner where they have to get married or make a replica of their partner using cake blindfolded. The Ultimatum: Is Love Cake Blind?
I made Apple Intelligence rewrite “Aye girl what that thang do?” to be Professional and it changed it to “Could you please clarify the purpose of that action?” Pretty sure Steve Jobs just turned over in his grave
December 8, 2024 at 4:17 AM
I made Apple Intelligence rewrite “Aye girl what that thang do?” to be Professional and it changed it to “Could you please clarify the purpose of that action?” Pretty sure Steve Jobs just turned over in his grave
Bangs are great because they hide the part we hate most about people: their brain
December 6, 2024 at 9:32 AM
Bangs are great because they hide the part we hate most about people: their brain
Social media is literally just: “bad thing is bad” and softcore porn. We used to rank our friends publicly like a civilized species. The MySpace Top 8 fed families and kept everyone in line. We got to see who was cheating with who on Snapchat in real time. There’s just no accountability these days
December 6, 2024 at 7:21 AM
Social media is literally just: “bad thing is bad” and softcore porn. We used to rank our friends publicly like a civilized species. The MySpace Top 8 fed families and kept everyone in line. We got to see who was cheating with who on Snapchat in real time. There’s just no accountability these days
Wanting to date hot people is weird because they’re the only people that don’t have to be nice or have a personality to have positive experiences in society. I prefer a partner that was ugly in school and is still kind of ugly and acts weird af for this very reason
December 5, 2024 at 1:09 AM
Wanting to date hot people is weird because they’re the only people that don’t have to be nice or have a personality to have positive experiences in society. I prefer a partner that was ugly in school and is still kind of ugly and acts weird af for this very reason
Schrödinger’s Cat Cake - Put a cat-shaped object that might be made of cake and Mikey Day with a knife in a room. The quantum superposition of the object is both cake and not cake until Mikey gets bored and collapses the wave function by cutting into it #IsItCake #IsItCat
December 3, 2024 at 5:09 AM
Reposted by Ruby’s Actual Father
you come to me on the day of my tummy's hurting
December 2, 2024 at 10:04 PM
you come to me on the day of my tummy's hurting
A successful Oppsgiving! Only 3 arrests, 17 broken bones, and 4 concussions this year. This divided nation may come together after all
November 29, 2024 at 5:15 AM
A successful Oppsgiving! Only 3 arrests, 17 broken bones, and 4 concussions this year. This divided nation may come together after all
Went to the front door to check if the Thanksgiving Turkey left me a cornucopia of treats as foretold in the sacred texts, but instead it was an Easter basket 😓
November 28, 2024 at 6:47 PM
Went to the front door to check if the Thanksgiving Turkey left me a cornucopia of treats as foretold in the sacred texts, but instead it was an Easter basket 😓
All I want for Thanksgiving is for Fruit of the Loom to admit they used to have a cornucopia in their logo so the world can begin healing
November 28, 2024 at 6:44 PM
All I want for Thanksgiving is for Fruit of the Loom to admit they used to have a cornucopia in their logo so the world can begin healing
Subscribed to Apple News+ last month and still haven’t gotten one match despite swiping endlessly. People magazine just seems hellbent on showing me as many articles about airplane passenger snafus as possible. This is NOT designed to be deleted in a good way unfortunately
November 28, 2024 at 6:02 AM
Subscribed to Apple News+ last month and still haven’t gotten one match despite swiping endlessly. People magazine just seems hellbent on showing me as many articles about airplane passenger snafus as possible. This is NOT designed to be deleted in a good way unfortunately
Schrödinger’s wiener is either tiny or huge. His favorite position is the superposition though
November 27, 2024 at 8:07 AM
Schrödinger’s wiener is either tiny or huge. His favorite position is the superposition though
