pumpkin
@pumpkinstars.bsky.social
hi im pumpkin. she/her. 🧠🌶️. Asexual. Anti-racist. I like gardens and colors. ME/CFS, hEDS, MCAS, POTS, Fibro. bed tethered. i love people and also people scare me. 🇺🇸
j i’m feel all over the place a bit
yeah
but it will be ok
the rain will pass
and spring will come again
and if i want more light in my world, i can be that light
yeah
but it will be ok
the rain will pass
and spring will come again
and if i want more light in my world, i can be that light
November 29, 2025 at 1:20 AM
j i’m feel all over the place a bit
yeah
but it will be ok
the rain will pass
and spring will come again
and if i want more light in my world, i can be that light
yeah
but it will be ok
the rain will pass
and spring will come again
and if i want more light in my world, i can be that light
i didn’t feel that way when i first got sick and worse sick. but i’ve come to accept how things are a lot more.
and i’ve found efficient ways to help others that don’t spend too much of my very very limited energy! hehe yay
but also, i like just being here with you all online
and i’ve found efficient ways to help others that don’t spend too much of my very very limited energy! hehe yay
but also, i like just being here with you all online
November 29, 2025 at 1:19 AM
i didn’t feel that way when i first got sick and worse sick. but i’ve come to accept how things are a lot more.
and i’ve found efficient ways to help others that don’t spend too much of my very very limited energy! hehe yay
but also, i like just being here with you all online
and i’ve found efficient ways to help others that don’t spend too much of my very very limited energy! hehe yay
but also, i like just being here with you all online
my AuDHD brain constantly feels FOMO. the world is so big and i can only experience a limited number of things in my lifetime. sometimes that feels overwhelming.
and sometimes, being alone in my room all the time feels safe and easy going and nice. manageable. like a break from stress
and sometimes, being alone in my room all the time feels safe and easy going and nice. manageable. like a break from stress
November 29, 2025 at 1:18 AM
my AuDHD brain constantly feels FOMO. the world is so big and i can only experience a limited number of things in my lifetime. sometimes that feels overwhelming.
and sometimes, being alone in my room all the time feels safe and easy going and nice. manageable. like a break from stress
and sometimes, being alone in my room all the time feels safe and easy going and nice. manageable. like a break from stress
it’s been weird losing my energy
and, i don’t mind being alone a lot of the time. sometimes i miss having a best friend and partner, but a lot of the time it’s nice being by myself
until i hear what my other friends are doing and get FOMO haha
and, i don’t mind being alone a lot of the time. sometimes i miss having a best friend and partner, but a lot of the time it’s nice being by myself
until i hear what my other friends are doing and get FOMO haha
November 29, 2025 at 1:17 AM
it’s been weird losing my energy
and, i don’t mind being alone a lot of the time. sometimes i miss having a best friend and partner, but a lot of the time it’s nice being by myself
until i hear what my other friends are doing and get FOMO haha
and, i don’t mind being alone a lot of the time. sometimes i miss having a best friend and partner, but a lot of the time it’s nice being by myself
until i hear what my other friends are doing and get FOMO haha
second hand bed frame. and, the US dollar was (is? idk i stopped checking) more than his currency then.
i liked helping him take better care of himself
and when i didn’t have money, i’d help people in other thoughtful ways that i no longer have energy to do
i liked helping him take better care of himself
and when i didn’t have money, i’d help people in other thoughtful ways that i no longer have energy to do
November 29, 2025 at 1:16 AM
second hand bed frame. and, the US dollar was (is? idk i stopped checking) more than his currency then.
i liked helping him take better care of himself
and when i didn’t have money, i’d help people in other thoughtful ways that i no longer have energy to do
i liked helping him take better care of himself
and when i didn’t have money, i’d help people in other thoughtful ways that i no longer have energy to do
he used to sleep on a mattress on the floor that was old and gross. no sheets just a mattress.
he had a new mattress some friend of his mom dropped off. but he didn’t want to put it on the floor.
so when i started working again, i gave him money for a bed frame and sheets and pillows
he had a new mattress some friend of his mom dropped off. but he didn’t want to put it on the floor.
so when i started working again, i gave him money for a bed frame and sheets and pillows
November 29, 2025 at 1:14 AM
he used to sleep on a mattress on the floor that was old and gross. no sheets just a mattress.
he had a new mattress some friend of his mom dropped off. but he didn’t want to put it on the floor.
so when i started working again, i gave him money for a bed frame and sheets and pillows
he had a new mattress some friend of his mom dropped off. but he didn’t want to put it on the floor.
so when i started working again, i gave him money for a bed frame and sheets and pillows
i like helping my parents and that’s what i do, and not being able to feels silent and empty because it’s how we relate to each other, and they don’t accept me unless i do a lot for them emotionally
but i also just liked helping
i liked doing stuff for bestie
i liked providing for him when i could
but i also just liked helping
i liked doing stuff for bestie
i liked providing for him when i could
November 29, 2025 at 1:13 AM
i like helping my parents and that’s what i do, and not being able to feels silent and empty because it’s how we relate to each other, and they don’t accept me unless i do a lot for them emotionally
but i also just liked helping
i liked doing stuff for bestie
i liked providing for him when i could
but i also just liked helping
i liked doing stuff for bestie
i liked providing for him when i could
i am not being very good with describing things now.
but i didn’t feel anxious if i didn’t do those things; it wasn’t a fawn response. i had done all the personal work to separate fawning from what i enjoyed doing already.
i knew who i was before i got sick
but i didn’t feel anxious if i didn’t do those things; it wasn’t a fawn response. i had done all the personal work to separate fawning from what i enjoyed doing already.
i knew who i was before i got sick
November 29, 2025 at 1:12 AM
i am not being very good with describing things now.
but i didn’t feel anxious if i didn’t do those things; it wasn’t a fawn response. i had done all the personal work to separate fawning from what i enjoyed doing already.
i knew who i was before i got sick
but i didn’t feel anxious if i didn’t do those things; it wasn’t a fawn response. i had done all the personal work to separate fawning from what i enjoyed doing already.
i knew who i was before i got sick
it used to be a lot about who i was and i liked doing it
like, when i worked in an office i would decorate the bulletin board. and i bought a new drying rack for the kitchen because the one in there was so gross.
i did that for myself as much as anyone else haha
but i liked doing it
like, when i worked in an office i would decorate the bulletin board. and i bought a new drying rack for the kitchen because the one in there was so gross.
i did that for myself as much as anyone else haha
but i liked doing it
November 29, 2025 at 1:10 AM
it used to be a lot about who i was and i liked doing it
like, when i worked in an office i would decorate the bulletin board. and i bought a new drying rack for the kitchen because the one in there was so gross.
i did that for myself as much as anyone else haha
but i liked doing it
like, when i worked in an office i would decorate the bulletin board. and i bought a new drying rack for the kitchen because the one in there was so gross.
i did that for myself as much as anyone else haha
but i liked doing it
my life alone is peaceful though
people stress me out a lot
it is rare for me to relax fully around other people, even if i like the company.
but i’m glad i have more friends that are easy to be around now! it is nice
then sometimes, i wonder who i am now if i can’t care for anyone like before
people stress me out a lot
it is rare for me to relax fully around other people, even if i like the company.
but i’m glad i have more friends that are easy to be around now! it is nice
then sometimes, i wonder who i am now if i can’t care for anyone like before
November 29, 2025 at 1:08 AM
my life alone is peaceful though
people stress me out a lot
it is rare for me to relax fully around other people, even if i like the company.
but i’m glad i have more friends that are easy to be around now! it is nice
then sometimes, i wonder who i am now if i can’t care for anyone like before
people stress me out a lot
it is rare for me to relax fully around other people, even if i like the company.
but i’m glad i have more friends that are easy to be around now! it is nice
then sometimes, i wonder who i am now if i can’t care for anyone like before
the rain and spotting are making me sad
i need some better distractions
i am not taking great care of my own space lately. and it feels very hard with all the rain we had.
i can’t believe i used to take care of other people too haha
i need some better distractions
i am not taking great care of my own space lately. and it feels very hard with all the rain we had.
i can’t believe i used to take care of other people too haha
November 29, 2025 at 1:06 AM
the rain and spotting are making me sad
i need some better distractions
i am not taking great care of my own space lately. and it feels very hard with all the rain we had.
i can’t believe i used to take care of other people too haha
i need some better distractions
i am not taking great care of my own space lately. and it feels very hard with all the rain we had.
i can’t believe i used to take care of other people too haha
heh. i just remember how much i used to secretly care for my mom.
i realized how angry she gets when she’s hungry. so i would periodically say we need a snack when we were out. and we’d split a pretzel or lunch, and eat several times a day
i can’t believe i used to care for people those ways
i realized how angry she gets when she’s hungry. so i would periodically say we need a snack when we were out. and we’d split a pretzel or lunch, and eat several times a day
i can’t believe i used to care for people those ways
November 29, 2025 at 1:04 AM
heh. i just remember how much i used to secretly care for my mom.
i realized how angry she gets when she’s hungry. so i would periodically say we need a snack when we were out. and we’d split a pretzel or lunch, and eat several times a day
i can’t believe i used to care for people those ways
i realized how angry she gets when she’s hungry. so i would periodically say we need a snack when we were out. and we’d split a pretzel or lunch, and eat several times a day
i can’t believe i used to care for people those ways
i actually thought, maybe i should get rid of my uterus
then i could be like my mom
but i know there’s tons of issues that would come with that, too
and even scheduling another surgery sounds awful
i likely won’t be able to fix that
then i could be like my mom
but i know there’s tons of issues that would come with that, too
and even scheduling another surgery sounds awful
i likely won’t be able to fix that
November 29, 2025 at 1:02 AM
i actually thought, maybe i should get rid of my uterus
then i could be like my mom
but i know there’s tons of issues that would come with that, too
and even scheduling another surgery sounds awful
i likely won’t be able to fix that
then i could be like my mom
but i know there’s tons of issues that would come with that, too
and even scheduling another surgery sounds awful
i likely won’t be able to fix that
lol my initial thought was “it’s not a degree it’s passing as a cis man”
but i’m salty about sexism at work. and the weather is icky so i’m stompy.
but i’m salty about sexism at work. and the weather is icky so i’m stompy.
November 29, 2025 at 12:59 AM
lol my initial thought was “it’s not a degree it’s passing as a cis man”
but i’m salty about sexism at work. and the weather is icky so i’m stompy.
but i’m salty about sexism at work. and the weather is icky so i’m stompy.
i think about that situation a lot when i face sexism at work.
cis men will avoid me and demean me, and it shows. but they won’t do any of the actual work, and when i do they punish me for that too.
it’s not as explicit as the fire pit man but it feels the same.
cis men will avoid me and demean me, and it shows. but they won’t do any of the actual work, and when i do they punish me for that too.
it’s not as explicit as the fire pit man but it feels the same.
November 29, 2025 at 12:57 AM
i think about that situation a lot when i face sexism at work.
cis men will avoid me and demean me, and it shows. but they won’t do any of the actual work, and when i do they punish me for that too.
it’s not as explicit as the fire pit man but it feels the same.
cis men will avoid me and demean me, and it shows. but they won’t do any of the actual work, and when i do they punish me for that too.
it’s not as explicit as the fire pit man but it feels the same.
sometimes. i wish i was born a boy, so that i could become a man.
i think i would have been a good one, and enjoyed it.
though i also wonder how much of toxic masculinity would twist me into someone like that man who sat there and did nothing.
i think i would have been a good one, and enjoyed it.
though i also wonder how much of toxic masculinity would twist me into someone like that man who sat there and did nothing.
November 29, 2025 at 12:54 AM
sometimes. i wish i was born a boy, so that i could become a man.
i think i would have been a good one, and enjoyed it.
though i also wonder how much of toxic masculinity would twist me into someone like that man who sat there and did nothing.
i think i would have been a good one, and enjoyed it.
though i also wonder how much of toxic masculinity would twist me into someone like that man who sat there and did nothing.
that man sticks in my mind
saying something so bold in his light suit, sitting on the vintage outdoor couch my boss had sourced, asking me about gender roles as he did nothing
i was waiting for him to come up and take it from me to help
or do anything
but he just looked away embarrassed
saying something so bold in his light suit, sitting on the vintage outdoor couch my boss had sourced, asking me about gender roles as he did nothing
i was waiting for him to come up and take it from me to help
or do anything
but he just looked away embarrassed
November 29, 2025 at 12:53 AM
that man sticks in my mind
saying something so bold in his light suit, sitting on the vintage outdoor couch my boss had sourced, asking me about gender roles as he did nothing
i was waiting for him to come up and take it from me to help
or do anything
but he just looked away embarrassed
saying something so bold in his light suit, sitting on the vintage outdoor couch my boss had sourced, asking me about gender roles as he did nothing
i was waiting for him to come up and take it from me to help
or do anything
but he just looked away embarrassed
there were some olive trees in a giant container next to the fire pit.
i’m glad they didn’t catch fire
and the awning the fire pit was just outside of was made of metal. so that was safe.
if things got worse, i was ready. but i’m glad i didn’t use the fire extinguisher and disrupt the party.
i’m glad they didn’t catch fire
and the awning the fire pit was just outside of was made of metal. so that was safe.
if things got worse, i was ready. but i’m glad i didn’t use the fire extinguisher and disrupt the party.
November 29, 2025 at 12:52 AM
there were some olive trees in a giant container next to the fire pit.
i’m glad they didn’t catch fire
and the awning the fire pit was just outside of was made of metal. so that was safe.
if things got worse, i was ready. but i’m glad i didn’t use the fire extinguisher and disrupt the party.
i’m glad they didn’t catch fire
and the awning the fire pit was just outside of was made of metal. so that was safe.
if things got worse, i was ready. but i’m glad i didn’t use the fire extinguisher and disrupt the party.
There was like 50 people who could see the fire
but i was the only one who sprung into action
in the end nothing was needed. and i wonder how many people knew that, and did nothing because they understood it would be fine… and how many people just did nothing.
but i was the only one who sprung into action
in the end nothing was needed. and i wonder how many people knew that, and did nothing because they understood it would be fine… and how many people just did nothing.
November 29, 2025 at 12:50 AM
There was like 50 people who could see the fire
but i was the only one who sprung into action
in the end nothing was needed. and i wonder how many people knew that, and did nothing because they understood it would be fine… and how many people just did nothing.
but i was the only one who sprung into action
in the end nothing was needed. and i wonder how many people knew that, and did nothing because they understood it would be fine… and how many people just did nothing.
that was our guess anyways.
the powder coating was fine. and the fire died down within half an hour.
powder coating looks so nice. you coat a metal piece in paint powder, then heat it up so it melts all clean and smooth over the metal.
so, that wasn’t what burned haha
the powder coating was fine. and the fire died down within half an hour.
powder coating looks so nice. you coat a metal piece in paint powder, then heat it up so it melts all clean and smooth over the metal.
so, that wasn’t what burned haha
November 29, 2025 at 12:49 AM
that was our guess anyways.
the powder coating was fine. and the fire died down within half an hour.
powder coating looks so nice. you coat a metal piece in paint powder, then heat it up so it melts all clean and smooth over the metal.
so, that wasn’t what burned haha
the powder coating was fine. and the fire died down within half an hour.
powder coating looks so nice. you coat a metal piece in paint powder, then heat it up so it melts all clean and smooth over the metal.
so, that wasn’t what burned haha
If anyone reading this is wondering how it even happened, it was the paint.
It was powder coated with a new paint and sealed, apparently with something that wasn’t fire proof even if the people painting it knew it was a fire pit
and some of that coating burned when it was used
It was powder coated with a new paint and sealed, apparently with something that wasn’t fire proof even if the people painting it knew it was a fire pit
and some of that coating burned when it was used
November 29, 2025 at 12:48 AM
If anyone reading this is wondering how it even happened, it was the paint.
It was powder coated with a new paint and sealed, apparently with something that wasn’t fire proof even if the people painting it knew it was a fire pit
and some of that coating burned when it was used
It was powder coated with a new paint and sealed, apparently with something that wasn’t fire proof even if the people painting it knew it was a fire pit
and some of that coating burned when it was used