If I'm in the right frame of mind, I sort of enjoy how they sound like a bunch of people noisily saying 'Blah bleh blah blah mleh bluhh blah bleh.' But yeah, they can be pretty annoying.

It's not *even* an incentive, except that they know the average punter isn't paying attention. Paying us with our own coin and calling it a 'boost' as if to imply there will be extra funding, when in reality all they ever do is cut the measly govt contribution. Slimy bastards.

If anyone ever tries to give me 86g of trifle, they better be ready to run.

You probably think the job of a lapel mic is to unobtrusively record sound. Nope! YouTubers know its true purpose is twofold:
1) It gives you something to do with your hands.
2) It shows the world how proud you are to have a fluffy little friend.

My wife and I walked past Rufus Sewell outside a hotel in Rome in 2010. Crappest celebrity sighting story ever? Perhaps, but it's all I've got.

John Wyndham couldn't have written badly if he tried.

Easily the biggest protest crowd I have ever witnessed in Auckland. I look forward to the 6pm news tepidly describing it as 'hundreds gathered to denounce what some are calling a genocide'.

I don't mind either, but I tend to lean towards the plural possessive, by comparison with 'shits and giggles'.

It looks (vaguely) like a chicken drumstick but tastes like what it is - low-quality vanilla ice cream coated in stale cornflakes. You wouldn't go back for a second one once your curiosity is satisfied.

Your apparent self-awareness implies (to me at least) that you are probably still doing OK. Go easy on yourself.

Everyone should watch 'Triple Threat' on Sky Open next Wednesday at 8.30. It's a great behind-the-scenes look at Jorja Miller, Maia Joseph and Katelyn Vaha'akolo. If it doesn't get you excited to see these three phenoms perform in the World Cup, talk to your GP about being dead inside.

The inquiry has devolved into the Weyland Yutani execs grilling Ripley about blowing up the Nostromo. David Seymour is Carter Burke, dreaming about how much COVID could have been worth to the bioweapons division.

TBF, The Wire is much more entertaining than Police Ten 7.