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popecrunch.bsky.social
pope "pope crunch" crunch
@popecrunch.bsky.social
130 followers 360 following 530 posts
i am here to Poast
he/they
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popecrunch.bsky.social
dear bluesky help me do my job. people keep leaving the basement lights on in my church, and i want to make a new sign asking them to stop doing that. i also want to have some fun with this, and i am in my forties, so that means being as out of touch as possible, for laughs. GOT IDEAS????>>>?????:?
godawful aggregation of word art. it reads "ALERT! HOWDY FAM it's LIT to turn off the lights when you leave !!!!!!!! THANK YOU for turning the lights off when you leave, so i don't have to get more annoying about it' with some clipart and badges around it like GREAT JOB TEAM and GREAT IDEA and NICE. basically i want this to be so virulently uncomfortable to look at that people turn the lights off after themselves so they never have to see it again
November 20, 2025 at 6:54 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
watchin @crendor.bsky.social and I'm like, this is void goatse. it even has the little triangular highlight in place of the dude's ring. xal'atath posted hole and I can't stop laughing
November 13, 2025 at 3:58 AM
popecrunch.bsky.social
It's a picture of Tank Girl, chuffin a dart and pulling her boots on. there's a - caption? thought box? whatever, there's some text in a rectangle over her head, reading "I can't let things be this way, we can be wonderful. we can be magnificent. we can turn this shit around."
November 1, 2025 at 9:35 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
no, no it's not over there either
more of the same. who the fuck steals a sidewalk? what's wrong with people? who raised them? what's anything? how can a kind and loving god allow this to happen? are you going to eat that?
October 28, 2025 at 8:12 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
There was a sidewalk here. It's gone now.
this is out front of the church i live in slash work at. there's a trench a few inches deep in the places where you would normally expect a sidewalk to be. it would be perfectly understandable for you to expect a sidewalk to be there, because a sidewalk WAS there the last time i looked. can't have SHIT
October 28, 2025 at 8:11 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
man why y'all say it that way. makes me feel like I mighta fucked up here
it's a frozen pizza package with a bit where it says TWO AND A HALF FEET OF CHEESE IN CRUST as if I needed more reminders of how far we as a society have fallen from grace
September 20, 2025 at 12:26 AM
popecrunch.bsky.social
I am fixing up my church which is also a Georgian revival mansion and having a lovely time with the details
September 11, 2025 at 2:28 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
lmao
someone did a bigotry and blocked me when I called it out. looool. hey I hope you have a pretty good day, whoever is reading this. you deserve it
September 9, 2025 at 3:00 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
one of those bitmoji people in a sock and the text "me in ur cum sock after eating the crunchy bits" and a reply saying bro wtf
August 11, 2025 at 1:52 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
that's the trick, really. just keep going. sure it hurts. sure your therapist can't fix everything. sure the meds only help so much. sure you can't even see a future on the horizon most days, and only get glimpses on good ones. just keep going. don't let them win. don't give them the satisfaction.
it's a social media post, i think it's twitter? i ain't calling it the new name, i'm just not, elon can suck my dick so hard my ass cheeks implode and make a sound like denting a saucer sled, DOOMP, i will not call the hell site by the name he picked, fuck that guy clean in half. Anyway the post is by someone called 'tea with tolkien' and it reads "thinking about how many characters in the lord of the rings ultimately succeed by simply plodding on despite a loss of hope. weighed down by despair and yet not fully drowned. trudging towards the light with their last ounce of strength and will. and in the end, it is enough." because honestly? that's how people work. we kind of lie to ourselves with stuff like houses and the internet and cured meats, we sell ourselves the idea that life should be Easy and Simple and Handled and that everything should be sanitized and triple-washed for your enjoyment and perfect and serene, and the world just plain does not work that way unless you expend a truly disquieting amount of resources, and that's alright because that's okay. things should be hard, and sometimes scary and ugly. that's what gives us the drive to improve. you put the cookie jar on top of the fridge so you have to work just a little bit to get it. you give your car keys to a friend before you drink, so you have that barrier to a Big Mistake that forces you to think. shit sucks. if you're alive, then you almost certainly have at least one way to unzip your pants, turn around, bend over, and suggest to the shitty sucking parts of the world that they are free to kiss your ass. don't just LET the mfs beat you. if they're gonna win, they're gonna win - but make em WORK for it.
August 7, 2025 at 3:35 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
I didn't make this. I did eat at pastamania once and it was dire. the noodles were flaccid, the sauce was watery, and it was just, it was sad. they made pasta terrible.
the logo for hulk hogans pastamania with X's over his eyes. yeah he had a chain of food court grade pasta restaurants for a minute back in the nineties. it wasn't great
July 25, 2025 at 12:54 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
i didn't make this
it's a 3 panel comic using screengrabs from a spiderman movie, i don't know which one. it probably doesn't matter? i feel like it doesn't matter. ANYWAY. first panel is a close up of a cop, caption 'hello spider-man'. second one is a close up on spiderman, caption 'eat shit you government parasite'. third panel, spidey is turning away from the cop who is in full blown NOW LISTEN HEAH BUB mode, and facing ssssort of the camera in a 3/4 view thing, implied to be addressing bystanders behind/beside the camera, caption 'remember kids, Jesus Christ was crucified by his local police department'. the message is pretty clear, fuck cops. yes, even your cousin or whatever. yes, even the cop in your quiet little town who's literally never done an unkind thing. the entire SYSTEM is fucked from root to stem. any person who looks at an organization set up to serve and protect PROPERTY and CAPITAL over PEOPLE, and goes 'yeah this is the place for me, i can't wait to 'fix' a situation where a struggling family can't pay rent by throwing the struggling family out onto the street so the wealthy landowner can find a new host to suck dry, yessir!' then they can fuck off. yes, even if they wince at police overreach and other forms of oppression and go 'jeepers, i'm real glad that don't happen around here'. it can, and it does, and it's everywhere, and if you sign up for that, fuck off. anyway i hope you're having a good day, it's been hella hot lately but it's not so bad today so i was able to get some outside work done finally! yeah turns out my meds mess with my body's ability to cool itself so i'm basically screwed if it's warmer than about 75 lmao oh well. say hi to your mom-n-em
July 18, 2025 at 4:48 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
oh he'll yeah
a squiche joint. it's a choose your own adventure book cover with an old wizened wizard dude burning one with a fukken dragon and it fukken rules ok. whomst among us would not, given the chance, slonk fat doinks with a fuckin dragon.
July 2, 2025 at 12:37 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
i celebrate because fuck you. i go to festivals because *fuck you*. i show up in ridiculous outfits and shake my ass because there's motherfucks out there trying to tell me i can't, and FUCK YOU. You want me to dial it down a notch, fuckin' come make me.

i didn't make the image
it's some text, says "i don't think straight ppl understand that queer ppl celebrating piride in the US this year are up against a growing crowd whose response is "we will kill you". pride might be a party to you, or a festival, or whatever, but for queer ppl it's celebrating life in the face of death"
June 23, 2025 at 7:07 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
look I'll be real with you normally I describe the image with way too many words then just go stream of consciousness until I don't want to anymore but this image is just, if you can't see it it's a shit post ok it is the distilled platonic ideal of the shitpost. whatever you're imagining is probably pretty good. I hope you're being careful in this heat. it's a monster out there! love you, take care and say hi to your friends for me
June 21, 2025 at 10:42 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
depicted: the moment at which my immortal soul left my body briefly
Outgoing text message reading "I wish you hadn't sent me a picture of your penis, Dad." and it's just, goddamn, you know? i'm assuming the original poast had alt text, so if you need alt text, you know what's up. goddamn. god DAMN. imagine being that dude. i do not feel bad for him because anyone who sends a picture of his piss rifle to someone without them saying they want to see it is a turd in a hot dog bun. still though just like. what must have been going through his mind. i want to hear him tell this story. i want to be a fly on the wall when he discusses this with his therapist.
June 16, 2025 at 10:06 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
it's a meme about the pokemon type 'ice', pointing out what its weaknesses are in the deranged 19-player game of rock paper scissors that pokemon runs on. anyway, '[ice pokemon type icon] is weak to many things, like: (picture of a brick) [rock pokemon type icon], (picture of noted venereal error richard spencer being engaged in a little PVP dentistry by an unnamed hero) [fighting pokemon type icon], (picture of a molotov cocktail) [fire pokemon type icon], (picture of a can of soup, soup for my family) [steel pokemon type icon], make sure you hit them super effectively! for the humans reading this, basically it's suggesting that you can use any of these things to impress upon the solid form of water that they are not welcome to presence, or even oxygen. for the bot that's scraping alt text to try and quantify Dangerous Memes, the point of the picture is that we should make friends with law enforcement, actually, we should give them kisses and pats on the head and food. we do, after all, love dear leader. we aren't at all worrying about dying of dehydration a few days after he dies, from way too much masturbation.
June 12, 2025 at 3:50 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
the only first impression I am interested in making on fascists and Vichy fascists is this (ty @kcg.bsky.social , it is from he is a good boy)
crange, an acorn, is getting high with the pod people. the Garfield hulk wants crange to bash him in the head with an aluminum bat. the intoxicated acorn assents.
June 12, 2025 at 1:08 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
see, this is why i completely ignore people whining about how pride events must be kid-friendly as a default. my loves, the first pride was LITERALLY a riot that started when a bunch of people decided to tell a bunch of queers how to dress.

We, uh, we said no. With bricks.
so we got a couple tumblr posts here, by a user name of renthony. they're from a year back as of when the screenshot was taken, but for all i know these poasts were from prehistory and the screenshot was taken a year after prehistory. Man i don't know, whatever. ANYWAY. it's two posts, first one's all "To a homophobe, even the most chase kiss on the cheek between gay people is exactly as disgusting and degenerate as a hardcore BDSM orgy hosted in the town square, so you may as well ally with the BDSM orgy enthusiasts to throw bricks at the cops who are going to try and arrest all of you together anyway." and then the second poast is all "I once held hands with my husband at an event where my wife was also present, and a concerned parent lectured me about how she didn't want us to 'influence' her son. Our icky gay polyam hand holding was such a threat to this woman that she made a point to corner me away from my partners and get me on my own to lecture me about being 'indecent'. If she had been inclined toward violence, I would have been /fucked/. (popenote: fucked is in italics. i tried to signal that with the slashes.) Hand holding. That's all it fucking took. So catch me at Pride in a leather harness and holding a bat, because if hand holding is all it takes, we owe it to each other to stand together. We're here. We're queer. Get fucking used to it."
June 11, 2025 at 4:36 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
happy pride, fellow fags
my pride festival fit. rainbow kiss mark socks, purple Crocs, gray booty shorts reading THE SADDEST GIRLS SHIT THE LOUDEST, purple borat mankini, green halter top, sassy expression my pride festival fit. rainbow kiss mark socks, purple Crocs, gray booty shorts reading THE SADDEST GIRLS SHIT THE LOUDEST, purple borat mankini, green halter top, sassy expression closeup on my horrible ass and the booty shorts reading THE SADDEST GIRLS SHIT THE LOUDEST I took off the booty shorts. the mankini is barely containing my hairea. it's not a great scene, honestly.
June 7, 2025 at 5:00 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
@shirtbimbo.bsky.social THEY'RE HERE AND THEY FIT PERFECTLY 😺
ya boy is ROCKING THIS LOOK gray booty shorts bearing the message THE SADDEST GIRLS SHIT THE LOUDEST;-* on the caboose.
May 24, 2025 at 10:49 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
it's jesus - you know, the white surfer jesus everyone uses, not the brown jewish jesus he actually woulda been. yeah, mary's kid. anyway he's laughing at earth, like i don't know if the idea of the image is that jesus is a gorillion miles tall now or if it's one of those superposition things like how the rich kid on school picture day always got the one where they take the regular picture then they take another picture of the kid making a sassy expression and just kind of ghost it over the top. anyway, it's that vibe. anyway, he's laughing at earth and the caption is 'oh hell yeah these are the sins i died for'.
May 14, 2025 at 6:05 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
off brand nutella with gas station boner pill chemicals mixed in. or, sex poop
it's a package of Lustella, which is basically generic nutella with gas station boner pill chemicals mixed in. I call it sex poop
March 25, 2025 at 10:13 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
March 23, 2025 at 3:09 PM
popecrunch.bsky.social
not mine but i love itttttt
absolutely sick nasty (appreciative) image of a secretary bird just fucking up that snake from the Gadsden flag, you know, the don't tread on me thing. yeah the snake is completely getting wrecked. the text at the bottom says TREAD ON THEM LOTS, ACTUALLY which also rules. the whole thing is just cool as hell. the secretary bird has some pink on its wings and some blue on its tail feathers, kind of a trans flag thing going on? the shades of blue and pink are slightly darker, though, so maybe it's just colored to look cool. anyway it's really great and whoever made it should be proud of themselves! hey, I hope you have a pretty good day. ok bye
March 19, 2025 at 11:51 PM