I don’t think in real life people open their front door just as someone is about to knock on it, as much as TV would make us believe
November 18, 2025 at 12:58 PM
I don’t think in real life people open their front door just as someone is about to knock on it, as much as TV would make us believe
Lasagne stomach burn
November 15, 2025 at 5:19 PM
Lasagne stomach burn
I haven’t got the energy to book a priority Christmas delivery slot - stop this madness
November 3, 2025 at 1:40 PM
I haven’t got the energy to book a priority Christmas delivery slot - stop this madness
At the trial for murdering my husband:
Judge: any last words?
Me: he moved the toaster setting
Judge: NOT GUILTY
Judge: any last words?
Me: he moved the toaster setting
Judge: NOT GUILTY
a judge is sitting in a courtroom with her hands in the air and the words `` case closed '' written on the screen .
ALT: a judge is sitting in a courtroom with her hands in the air and the words `` case closed '' written on the screen .
media.tenor.com
October 31, 2025 at 8:38 AM
At the trial for murdering my husband:
Judge: any last words?
Me: he moved the toaster setting
Judge: NOT GUILTY
Judge: any last words?
Me: he moved the toaster setting
Judge: NOT GUILTY
Just starting on celebrity traitors, and cannot stop myself from saying fuck off every time Tom Daley appears
October 14, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Just starting on celebrity traitors, and cannot stop myself from saying fuck off every time Tom Daley appears
Butterkist butterkist ra ra ra
October 9, 2025 at 5:39 AM
Butterkist butterkist ra ra ra
As a grown adult, I get into the bath far too many times having forgot my towel
September 24, 2025 at 9:13 AM
As a grown adult, I get into the bath far too many times having forgot my towel
Friends I’ve got terrible news: I’ve just eaten a Charlie binghams meal for one I’d ordered by mistake, as I usually by their serves two…., and the meal for one was enough food
*wipes tear from eye*
*wipes tear from eye*
September 19, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Friends I’ve got terrible news: I’ve just eaten a Charlie binghams meal for one I’d ordered by mistake, as I usually by their serves two…., and the meal for one was enough food
*wipes tear from eye*
*wipes tear from eye*
I finally found the washing machine I’d been looking for on & off for nine months.
I guess given the fact I’d been searching hotpoint when the machine I wanted was a hoover might have something to do with it
I guess given the fact I’d been searching hotpoint when the machine I wanted was a hoover might have something to do with it
September 17, 2025 at 10:01 AM
I finally found the washing machine I’d been looking for on & off for nine months.
I guess given the fact I’d been searching hotpoint when the machine I wanted was a hoover might have something to do with it
I guess given the fact I’d been searching hotpoint when the machine I wanted was a hoover might have something to do with it
Don’t you just love how you don’t know your dishwasher is broken until it’s complexly full and ready to go on
September 16, 2025 at 8:41 AM
Don’t you just love how you don’t know your dishwasher is broken until it’s complexly full and ready to go on
I either need to stop doing DIY barefoot, or stop dropping things on my toes 🤷🏽♂️
September 12, 2025 at 10:53 AM
I either need to stop doing DIY barefoot, or stop dropping things on my toes 🤷🏽♂️
Is having a gift bag full of used gift bags the new carrier bag full of carrier bags - sick of the bastards
September 12, 2025 at 10:08 AM
Is having a gift bag full of used gift bags the new carrier bag full of carrier bags - sick of the bastards
Having to turn off Face ID cause I can’t beat my reflection
September 8, 2025 at 7:27 AM
Having to turn off Face ID cause I can’t beat my reflection
First time wearing jeans all summer 😕
August 28, 2025 at 7:34 AM
First time wearing jeans all summer 😕
Eating the pizza I bought for dinner now probably isn’t the best move
August 20, 2025 at 12:08 PM
Eating the pizza I bought for dinner now probably isn’t the best move
I think the S fell off
August 16, 2025 at 9:40 AM
I think the S fell off
There needs to be a term for reaching the age where you take a food product to the window to read the cooking instructions
August 8, 2025 at 5:32 AM
There needs to be a term for reaching the age where you take a food product to the window to read the cooking instructions
Skills include: turning the hob buttons on* with my belly
*accidentally
*accidentally
July 30, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Skills include: turning the hob buttons on* with my belly
*accidentally
*accidentally
Can not be doing with the lucky dip, that is a new tub on vanish & digging for the scoop
July 17, 2025 at 4:04 PM
Can not be doing with the lucky dip, that is a new tub on vanish & digging for the scoop
People having a sleeve of tattoos is the modern day equivalent of kids grafting their pencil case or putting stickers on their folders
July 15, 2025 at 7:47 AM
People having a sleeve of tattoos is the modern day equivalent of kids grafting their pencil case or putting stickers on their folders
It’s mother ducking moths as big as bats flying in your face season…, or was that just a bat 🤷🏽♂️
July 11, 2025 at 8:53 PM
It’s mother ducking moths as big as bats flying in your face season…, or was that just a bat 🤷🏽♂️
Let it be known: a decision has been made., tonight we shall dine on egg n chips
July 10, 2025 at 8:59 AM
Let it be known: a decision has been made., tonight we shall dine on egg n chips
Using a cash machine that charges for withdrawals
a man in a black leather jacket says " i think you 're kind of rude "
ALT: a man in a black leather jacket says " i think you 're kind of rude "
media.tenor.com
July 4, 2025 at 12:28 PM
Using a cash machine that charges for withdrawals
Might do a dissertation just for lols on people who post hospital selfies on the socials. Extra points for gown, cannula, “u ok hun” and “take care m8” comments
July 1, 2025 at 8:23 PM
Might do a dissertation just for lols on people who post hospital selfies on the socials. Extra points for gown, cannula, “u ok hun” and “take care m8” comments