Pittsburgh Mrs. 💨💨
@pittsburghmrs.bsky.social
Weird, Neurochaotic. Partaker of the herb. I have a head full of useless information. Stalking your pet pics. Offering a humor shelter in a shit storm.
We’re deep enough into December that every time I hear “All I Want for Christmas is You” my right leg starts to jerk violently. It’s like it forces your body to like it but JUST the leg…only the leg.
December 9, 2025 at 6:30 AM
We’re deep enough into December that every time I hear “All I Want for Christmas is You” my right leg starts to jerk violently. It’s like it forces your body to like it but JUST the leg…only the leg.
“Merry Christmas!”
“Is this….”
“It’s fruitcake!”
“But these are M&Ms” 👀
👀
“Yes so fruitcake!”
“M&Ms aren….”
“FRUITCAKE!”
“Is this….”
“It’s fruitcake!”
“But these are M&Ms” 👀
👀
“Yes so fruitcake!”
“M&Ms aren….”
“FRUITCAKE!”
a man wearing sunglasses and a suit is giving a thumbs up sign
ALT: a man wearing sunglasses and a suit is giving a thumbs up sign
media.tenor.com
December 8, 2025 at 12:53 AM
“Merry Christmas!”
“Is this….”
“It’s fruitcake!”
“But these are M&Ms” 👀
👀
“Yes so fruitcake!”
“M&Ms aren….”
“FRUITCAKE!”
“Is this….”
“It’s fruitcake!”
“But these are M&Ms” 👀
👀
“Yes so fruitcake!”
“M&Ms aren….”
“FRUITCAKE!”
If I have to watch some son of a bitch torture a little gingerbread man hanging from a candy cane over some milk one more damn time! His screams! His leg FALLS OFF!*
*I feel I should say this is complete sarcasm, you just can’t hear my font.
*I feel I should say this is complete sarcasm, you just can’t hear my font.
December 8, 2025 at 12:42 AM
If I have to watch some son of a bitch torture a little gingerbread man hanging from a candy cane over some milk one more damn time! His screams! His leg FALLS OFF!*
*I feel I should say this is complete sarcasm, you just can’t hear my font.
*I feel I should say this is complete sarcasm, you just can’t hear my font.
Snow
Snowwww
Snoooooooowwwwww
I wanna wash my face, my hair, and my lady bear with snowwww!
Snowwww
Snoooooooowwwwww
I wanna wash my face, my hair, and my lady bear with snowwww!
a group of people are sitting at a table with a sign that says snow .
ALT: a group of people are sitting at a table with a sign that says snow .
media.tenor.com
December 7, 2025 at 1:09 AM
Snow
Snowwww
Snoooooooowwwwww
I wanna wash my face, my hair, and my lady bear with snowwww!
Snowwww
Snoooooooowwwwww
I wanna wash my face, my hair, and my lady bear with snowwww!
If “Die Hard” is considered a Christmas movie then couldn’t one argue that “Lethal Weapon” is also a Christmas movie? I’ll offer exhibit A to refresh your memory.
Don’t get your tits in a twist and discuss….
Don’t get your tits in a twist and discuss….
December 6, 2025 at 3:39 AM
If “Die Hard” is considered a Christmas movie then couldn’t one argue that “Lethal Weapon” is also a Christmas movie? I’ll offer exhibit A to refresh your memory.
Don’t get your tits in a twist and discuss….
Don’t get your tits in a twist and discuss….
Checked out Spirit Christmas today. The prices were horrifying, all I could see was the ghost of my money.
December 6, 2025 at 3:26 AM
Checked out Spirit Christmas today. The prices were horrifying, all I could see was the ghost of my money.
Rice Krispies
Once the milk is added you’ve got 5 seconds before you’re eating mush.
Once the milk is added you’ve got 5 seconds before you’re eating mush.
a woman wearing a red hat is holding a microphone and says " and may the odds be ever in your favor "
ALT: a woman wearing a red hat is holding a microphone and says " and may the odds be ever in your favor "
media.tenor.com
December 5, 2025 at 5:16 PM
Rice Krispies
Once the milk is added you’ve got 5 seconds before you’re eating mush.
Once the milk is added you’ve got 5 seconds before you’re eating mush.
If I told you I had rabies…would you stay…
December 5, 2025 at 2:37 AM
If I told you I had rabies…would you stay…
Can we talk about how insanely psycho this bitch was and yet we just accepted it….
miss piggy from the muppet show is wearing a yellow dress and a pearl necklace
ALT: miss piggy from the muppet show is wearing a yellow dress and a pearl necklace
media.tenor.com
December 4, 2025 at 5:22 AM
Can we talk about how insanely psycho this bitch was and yet we just accepted it….
Macy’s, you sell many expensive false promises in little jars.
December 4, 2025 at 5:14 AM
Macy’s, you sell many expensive false promises in little jars.
Feelin cute. May bleach my stink wrinkle later.
December 4, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Feelin cute. May bleach my stink wrinkle later.
So I’m tryin to score one of those 12ft candy canes at 75% off and this woman starts screaming and covering her kids eyes! And I’m like listen Leslie, been there, done that, smoked it, vibed out, and called it an uber! You never buy a new pole without a test run. Fuckin lunatic!
December 3, 2025 at 4:57 AM
So I’m tryin to score one of those 12ft candy canes at 75% off and this woman starts screaming and covering her kids eyes! And I’m like listen Leslie, been there, done that, smoked it, vibed out, and called it an uber! You never buy a new pole without a test run. Fuckin lunatic!
From the trusted makers of NyQuil, NyQuil Cold & Flu, NyQuil Intense Flu, and ZZZQuil, (Aka the Benadryl cocktail,) comes NyQuil Survive! A blend of Valium, 5% alcohol, Molly, and a nip of heroine. Guaranteed to make this shitty world a better place for 6-8 hours.
December 3, 2025 at 3:29 AM
From the trusted makers of NyQuil, NyQuil Cold & Flu, NyQuil Intense Flu, and ZZZQuil, (Aka the Benadryl cocktail,) comes NyQuil Survive! A blend of Valium, 5% alcohol, Molly, and a nip of heroine. Guaranteed to make this shitty world a better place for 6-8 hours.
I’ve decided tonight some nostalgic Christmas tv episodes, a joint, and a banana nut muffin will temporarily fix me.
December 3, 2025 at 1:59 AM
I’ve decided tonight some nostalgic Christmas tv episodes, a joint, and a banana nut muffin will temporarily fix me.
There are some shows you just DO NOT skip the intro.
And the streaming services recognize that when the “skip intro” option fades out after around 15 seconds in. As if to say I acknowledge you fair watcher, and see your love for this program. Your commitment to marathoning is an inspiration.
And the streaming services recognize that when the “skip intro” option fades out after around 15 seconds in. As if to say I acknowledge you fair watcher, and see your love for this program. Your commitment to marathoning is an inspiration.
December 3, 2025 at 1:54 AM
There are some shows you just DO NOT skip the intro.
And the streaming services recognize that when the “skip intro” option fades out after around 15 seconds in. As if to say I acknowledge you fair watcher, and see your love for this program. Your commitment to marathoning is an inspiration.
And the streaming services recognize that when the “skip intro” option fades out after around 15 seconds in. As if to say I acknowledge you fair watcher, and see your love for this program. Your commitment to marathoning is an inspiration.
5 inches…which is average!
Of snow Phillis get your mind out the gutter.
Of snow Phillis get your mind out the gutter.
December 2, 2025 at 6:05 PM
5 inches…which is average!
Of snow Phillis get your mind out the gutter.
Of snow Phillis get your mind out the gutter.
Calling for 4-7 inches of snow tomorrow. Which means we should get 0 to 28 inches.
December 2, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Calling for 4-7 inches of snow tomorrow. Which means we should get 0 to 28 inches.
Got my invite.
So what’s the vibe?
It is the cool kids club right…. what if they pressure me into drugs…like blood thinners and calcium….
So what’s the vibe?
It is the cool kids club right…. what if they pressure me into drugs…like blood thinners and calcium….
December 1, 2025 at 11:27 PM
Got my invite.
So what’s the vibe?
It is the cool kids club right…. what if they pressure me into drugs…like blood thinners and calcium….
So what’s the vibe?
It is the cool kids club right…. what if they pressure me into drugs…like blood thinners and calcium….
Life is like a box of chocolates, only plot twist, the chocolate is Palmer and it expired 2 years ago.
November 30, 2025 at 6:20 PM
Life is like a box of chocolates, only plot twist, the chocolate is Palmer and it expired 2 years ago.
How am I?? Well Barb my body hurts and I’m mad at the government. Can you please move your cart. I need a box of vampire tea bags and your giant Christmas tree box is in the way.
Ahhhhh the holidays.
Ahhhhh the holidays.
November 29, 2025 at 9:55 PM
How am I?? Well Barb my body hurts and I’m mad at the government. Can you please move your cart. I need a box of vampire tea bags and your giant Christmas tree box is in the way.
Ahhhhh the holidays.
Ahhhhh the holidays.
Christmas in the 80’s was the best! Let’s do Christmas like that again. What the hell, we’re all gonna fall of this rock when gravity suddenly fucks off for no damn reason*
*one of the last 3 things left on my end of the world bingo card.
*one of the last 3 things left on my end of the world bingo card.
November 29, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Christmas in the 80’s was the best! Let’s do Christmas like that again. What the hell, we’re all gonna fall of this rock when gravity suddenly fucks off for no damn reason*
*one of the last 3 things left on my end of the world bingo card.
*one of the last 3 things left on my end of the world bingo card.
Strange how Reese Witherspoon is morphing into Gary Busey.
November 28, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Strange how Reese Witherspoon is morphing into Gary Busey.
When all the relatives have arrived and the pre bake fully kicks in.
November 26, 2025 at 6:19 AM
When all the relatives have arrived and the pre bake fully kicks in.
Ok Johnny Depp and these cologne commercials…they gotta stop. The man is a legend…in his own mind. It’s just gettin damm goofy.
I said what I said Ethel, now close your mouth. You look like you’re waiting on a flying dick to pop in.
I said what I said Ethel, now close your mouth. You look like you’re waiting on a flying dick to pop in.
November 26, 2025 at 5:19 AM
Ok Johnny Depp and these cologne commercials…they gotta stop. The man is a legend…in his own mind. It’s just gettin damm goofy.
I said what I said Ethel, now close your mouth. You look like you’re waiting on a flying dick to pop in.
I said what I said Ethel, now close your mouth. You look like you’re waiting on a flying dick to pop in.
It is written in the handbook of life that the last hour of work before a day off MUST be painfully slow.
Fuck whoever wrote that. 🖕🏻
Fuck whoever wrote that. 🖕🏻
November 26, 2025 at 3:04 AM
It is written in the handbook of life that the last hour of work before a day off MUST be painfully slow.
Fuck whoever wrote that. 🖕🏻
Fuck whoever wrote that. 🖕🏻