Phil Johnson
@philjohnsoncomedy.bsky.social
Smart/Naughty Comedy and Music for Smart/Naughty People. 😉 Click this because you need to laugh 👉https://linktr.ee/philjohnsoncomedy
Countdown to the "Um, actually" comments - 3...2...1
Yes, the math was done.
Yes, the math was done.
November 14, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Countdown to the "Um, actually" comments - 3...2...1
Yes, the math was done.
Yes, the math was done.
Please tell me someone is out there doing Goth Jazz.
November 10, 2025 at 8:22 PM
Please tell me someone is out there doing Goth Jazz.
Hadn't been on Nextdoor in a long time, but this headline about a local hospital caught my eye.
Immediately reminded why I don't go on Nextdoor.
Immediately reminded why I don't go on Nextdoor.
October 30, 2025 at 8:36 PM
Hadn't been on Nextdoor in a long time, but this headline about a local hospital caught my eye.
Immediately reminded why I don't go on Nextdoor.
Immediately reminded why I don't go on Nextdoor.
You guys, I just found out I've been cast as the new James Bond.
October 20, 2025 at 2:09 AM
You guys, I just found out I've been cast as the new James Bond.
1. Is the patient sending US troops into American cities?
2. Does the patient believe he can just take money from anywhere to find whatever he wants?
3. Does the patient really... REALLY...believe he's 224 pounds?
4. Does the patient seem to obviously be a patsy for racists and Russian dictators?
2. Does the patient believe he can just take money from anywhere to find whatever he wants?
3. Does the patient really... REALLY...believe he's 224 pounds?
4. Does the patient seem to obviously be a patsy for racists and Russian dictators?
October 18, 2025 at 11:49 PM
1. Is the patient sending US troops into American cities?
2. Does the patient believe he can just take money from anywhere to find whatever he wants?
3. Does the patient really... REALLY...believe he's 224 pounds?
4. Does the patient seem to obviously be a patsy for racists and Russian dictators?
2. Does the patient believe he can just take money from anywhere to find whatever he wants?
3. Does the patient really... REALLY...believe he's 224 pounds?
4. Does the patient seem to obviously be a patsy for racists and Russian dictators?
13 thing the Democrats can do during the Republican shutdown.
October 18, 2025 at 2:59 PM
13 thing the Democrats can do during the Republican shutdown.
New song out today and it's about exactly who you think it is. Listen at fanlink.tv/ahole2025
October 2, 2025 at 6:18 PM
New song out today and it's about exactly who you think it is. Listen at fanlink.tv/ahole2025
I’m proud to join the Committee for the First Amendment. Together, we refuse to let silencing and intimidation become business as usual. Free expression is a right. I stand with hundreds of colleagues across our industry in relaunching the #CommitteeForTheFirstAmendment @1acommittee.bsky.social
October 1, 2025 at 4:38 PM
I’m proud to join the Committee for the First Amendment. Together, we refuse to let silencing and intimidation become business as usual. Free expression is a right. I stand with hundreds of colleagues across our industry in relaunching the #CommitteeForTheFirstAmendment @1acommittee.bsky.social
Republicans have shut down the government to take healthcare away from millions of Americans and give Trump a blank check for his illegal power grab.
October 1, 2025 at 4:33 PM
Republicans have shut down the government to take healthcare away from millions of Americans and give Trump a blank check for his illegal power grab.
These 2 posts right next to each other in my feed.
September 21, 2025 at 2:51 AM
These 2 posts right next to each other in my feed.
Me showing up at a Betty Ford for my mochihol dependency.
September 16, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Me showing up at a Betty Ford for my mochihol dependency.
These 3 headlines... 🙄
August 16, 2025 at 8:32 PM
These 3 headlines... 🙄
Texas is NOT a red state. It's 46.52% Democrat vs 37.75% Republican, 15.73% Unaffiliated.
The redistricting is full on election manipulation and cheating because they know they can't win in their ideas.
Image from independentvoterproject.org
The redistricting is full on election manipulation and cheating because they know they can't win in their ideas.
Image from independentvoterproject.org
August 15, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Texas is NOT a red state. It's 46.52% Democrat vs 37.75% Republican, 15.73% Unaffiliated.
The redistricting is full on election manipulation and cheating because they know they can't win in their ideas.
Image from independentvoterproject.org
The redistricting is full on election manipulation and cheating because they know they can't win in their ideas.
Image from independentvoterproject.org
I got this one recently. Still no idea what's going on in it.
August 5, 2025 at 10:49 PM
I got this one recently. Still no idea what's going on in it.
HBO trying to start some shit putting these next to each other.
August 3, 2025 at 2:01 AM
HBO trying to start some shit putting these next to each other.
Got this message on FB this morning and nearly had a aneurysm trying to read it.
This is why we need a literacy campaign in this country.
I clicked through to the guy's profile and I'll give you 2 guesses which side he's playing for politically. You'll only need one.
This is why we need a literacy campaign in this country.
I clicked through to the guy's profile and I'll give you 2 guesses which side he's playing for politically. You'll only need one.
July 23, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Got this message on FB this morning and nearly had a aneurysm trying to read it.
This is why we need a literacy campaign in this country.
I clicked through to the guy's profile and I'll give you 2 guesses which side he's playing for politically. You'll only need one.
This is why we need a literacy campaign in this country.
I clicked through to the guy's profile and I'll give you 2 guesses which side he's playing for politically. You'll only need one.
I am SO glad that Ozzy got to experience that massive outpouring of love at his retirement concert.
That's the way we should all get to go. A stadium of people cheering us on while we do what we do best - whatever that is. And then passing quietly.
Goodnight sweet prince of darkness
That's the way we should all get to go. A stadium of people cheering us on while we do what we do best - whatever that is. And then passing quietly.
Goodnight sweet prince of darkness
July 22, 2025 at 7:19 PM
I am SO glad that Ozzy got to experience that massive outpouring of love at his retirement concert.
That's the way we should all get to go. A stadium of people cheering us on while we do what we do best - whatever that is. And then passing quietly.
Goodnight sweet prince of darkness
That's the way we should all get to go. A stadium of people cheering us on while we do what we do best - whatever that is. And then passing quietly.
Goodnight sweet prince of darkness
Could I have parodied a more current song like "Pink Pony Club" or "A Bar Song"? Sure.
But I went with "Frankie and Johnny", a song from 1904.
#epstein
Don't ever let Trump forget we know he did it.
But I went with "Frankie and Johnny", a song from 1904.
#epstein
Don't ever let Trump forget we know he did it.
July 18, 2025 at 6:35 PM
Could I have parodied a more current song like "Pink Pony Club" or "A Bar Song"? Sure.
But I went with "Frankie and Johnny", a song from 1904.
#epstein
Don't ever let Trump forget we know he did it.
But I went with "Frankie and Johnny", a song from 1904.
#epstein
Don't ever let Trump forget we know he did it.
Dusty Slay invited me to do a little guest set on his show at the California Theater in San Jose, CA on Saturday May 30!
I think there are a few tickets left if you'd like to see mostly Dusty and a little Me in the most beautiful theater in San Jose. :)
sanjosetheaters.org/theaters/cal...
I think there are a few tickets left if you'd like to see mostly Dusty and a little Me in the most beautiful theater in San Jose. :)
sanjosetheaters.org/theaters/cal...
May 30, 2025 at 3:04 PM
Dusty Slay invited me to do a little guest set on his show at the California Theater in San Jose, CA on Saturday May 30!
I think there are a few tickets left if you'd like to see mostly Dusty and a little Me in the most beautiful theater in San Jose. :)
sanjosetheaters.org/theaters/cal...
I think there are a few tickets left if you'd like to see mostly Dusty and a little Me in the most beautiful theater in San Jose. :)
sanjosetheaters.org/theaters/cal...
My sentiments exactly. You can hear my new song "Picnic in the Sun (Punching Nazis)" on your favorite streamer. :)
May 29, 2025 at 4:13 AM
My sentiments exactly. You can hear my new song "Picnic in the Sun (Punching Nazis)" on your favorite streamer. :)
A little peek at my lyric sheet for "Picnic in the Sun (Punching Nazis)" including a lyric that didn't get used in the song because my voice acting skills suck.
Check out the song at philjohnson.streetteam.fm/journeys/fan...
Check out the song at philjohnson.streetteam.fm/journeys/fan...
May 27, 2025 at 6:51 PM
A little peek at my lyric sheet for "Picnic in the Sun (Punching Nazis)" including a lyric that didn't get used in the song because my voice acting skills suck.
Check out the song at philjohnson.streetteam.fm/journeys/fan...
Check out the song at philjohnson.streetteam.fm/journeys/fan...
Remember the fighters of yore and the one fighting now on Memorial Day.
May 26, 2025 at 10:02 PM
Remember the fighters of yore and the one fighting now on Memorial Day.
It's from my new track "Picnic in the Sun (Punching Nazis)" and you an hear it at philjohnson.streetteam.fm/journeys/fan...
May 22, 2025 at 7:14 PM
It's from my new track "Picnic in the Sun (Punching Nazis)" and you an hear it at philjohnson.streetteam.fm/journeys/fan...
Ever dream of a sunny park date where wine, cheese, and a fist to the face of fascism all fit on the blanket?
It's my new song "Picnic in the Sun (Punching Nazis)"!
philjohnson.streetteam.fm/journeys/fan...
Click the link and press play on this hilarious, no-holds-barred summer jam
#antifascist
It's my new song "Picnic in the Sun (Punching Nazis)"!
philjohnson.streetteam.fm/journeys/fan...
Click the link and press play on this hilarious, no-holds-barred summer jam
#antifascist
May 20, 2025 at 7:21 PM
Ever dream of a sunny park date where wine, cheese, and a fist to the face of fascism all fit on the blanket?
It's my new song "Picnic in the Sun (Punching Nazis)"!
philjohnson.streetteam.fm/journeys/fan...
Click the link and press play on this hilarious, no-holds-barred summer jam
#antifascist
It's my new song "Picnic in the Sun (Punching Nazis)"!
philjohnson.streetteam.fm/journeys/fan...
Click the link and press play on this hilarious, no-holds-barred summer jam
#antifascist