It's not even Christmas. Star Wars only used to be on at Christmas. They'll have Jason and the Argonauts on next.

So you're incorrect on both points.

He's a lovely man.

I chuck in change when I've got some. My wife worked for Help for Heroes for years and I did a lot of weekend fundraising with her. Her dad was a marine as well and her mum worked at Land HQ for 30 years. We don't normally wear them.

The lads at work have apparently always been like that. When I first mentioned it to a colleague she said "they're just country boys though". Just cunts, I'd say.

Keep my Bob's name out your mouth.

I was astonished that only one of our bearers had poppies last week and it wasn't either of those lads. The lad that did is an ex-squaddie. I was convinced we'd be given them before going out. I'll wear one if asked but I'm not arsed.

The 2 lads that work in the same role as me are awful when it comes to racism. They're both seniors and I'm not. I'm not sure I can really call them out or grass them up. It's hard work biting your lip when they start. I've heard they're far worse than I've witnessed. Vile stuff.

He's upset that an anti-inflamatory drug (regulated) might make you fat but saying to leave ultra processed food (unregulated) alone. Keep snail trails/slug mucus in ice cream and emulsifying chemicals in bread but avoid the well researched ibuprofen.

I see the lads from the council blowing them off the road once a week and the road is full of them again later the same day. The amount of energy and CO2 wasted must be bad for the environment. Just chop the trees down.

That area of Manchester and it's club is what he should say.

I get that. I suppose they have to document it in case something goes wrong or someone kicks off. Mine is pointless most weeks. I also have to submit by 1pm on Fridays, before I know if the last funeral has overrun or somebody has thrown a 7.

I get those too. I always wonder how she knows as it's in my bag.

That's an absolute waste of time anyway. It's always the same unless I'm on call. 8.30 to 16.30, Monday to Friday. I'll tell her if it's changed. She's already electronically approved my holidays.

This was an online shop. The fella asked if we had wire cutters or should he take it back. We also had bottles of beer to replace cans. He said they were more expensive so he marked a handful of items as damaged and applied a discount.

* Tolerated you.

As is yours. She's the mental one. I've got two of the 'normous nosed knobheads. Victor's got a huge snout on him.

They used to be. Until January and February were added about 2.5k years ago.