Paulie Gualtieri Has Opinions
@pauliesopinions.bsky.social
You hear what I said, Ton'?
Yeah Ton', it's me. The thing with Candace Owens? Didn't go as planned. But she thinks the French did it, so we're in the clear.
November 26, 2025 at 1:57 AM
Yeah Ton', it's me. The thing with Candace Owens? Didn't go as planned. But she thinks the French did it, so we're in the clear.
You think these wings just happen on their own? Stupid cocksucker.
November 16, 2025 at 7:03 PM
You think these wings just happen on their own? Stupid cocksucker.
Best hair in the business for years, but still no endorsement deal from Just for Men. Pricks.
November 16, 2025 at 4:32 PM
Best hair in the business for years, but still no endorsement deal from Just for Men. Pricks.
Yeah Ton', it's me. The shutdown's over, just like you wanted. Tim Kaine can have his dog back.
November 11, 2025 at 7:16 PM
Yeah Ton', it's me. The shutdown's over, just like you wanted. Tim Kaine can have his dog back.
Yeah Ton', it's me. Díck Cheney? Taken care of.
November 4, 2025 at 3:48 PM
Yeah Ton', it's me. Díck Cheney? Taken care of.
Yeah Ton', it's done. Napoleon's short—on jewels, that is. Heheh.
October 20, 2025 at 2:38 AM
Yeah Ton', it's done. Napoleon's short—on jewels, that is. Heheh.
Yeah Ton', it's me. The Middle East? All taken care of.
October 9, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Yeah Ton', it's me. The Middle East? All taken care of.
Tell your mother my linguine's gonna cost her double from now on, on account of the pasta tariff. Heheh.
October 7, 2025 at 6:26 PM
Tell your mother my linguine's gonna cost her double from now on, on account of the pasta tariff. Heheh.
I seen a few hits in my day, and this one? Total inside job.
September 11, 2025 at 2:49 PM
I seen a few hits in my day, and this one? Total inside job.
Yeah Ton', it's me. That thing with Rudy? Taken care of.
September 1, 2025 at 12:18 AM
Yeah Ton', it's me. That thing with Rudy? Taken care of.
Real men don't fućk 14 year-olds. They fućk your mother. Heheh.
July 23, 2025 at 8:24 PM
Real men don't fućk 14 year-olds. They fućk your mother. Heheh.
It don't take a genius to know why Trump ain't releasin' the Epstein files. He's in 'em. Big time.
July 13, 2025 at 8:37 PM
It don't take a genius to know why Trump ain't releasin' the Epstein files. He's in 'em. Big time.
Italians invented the Caesar Salad on July 4th, ain't nobody more patriotic than us.
July 5, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Italians invented the Caesar Salad on July 4th, ain't nobody more patriotic than us.
I prob'ly got some kids out there I don't know about, so here's a pic of your old man for Father's Day. Heheh.
June 15, 2025 at 3:36 PM
I prob'ly got some kids out there I don't know about, so here's a pic of your old man for Father's Day. Heheh.
It must be Flag Day, cuz I'm at full mast. Heheheh.
June 14, 2025 at 7:57 PM
It must be Flag Day, cuz I'm at full mast. Heheheh.
Yeah Ton', it's me. Tel Aviv? Taken care of.
June 13, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Yeah Ton', it's me. Tel Aviv? Taken care of.
Yeah Ton', it's me. Tehran? Taken care of.
June 13, 2025 at 1:44 AM
Yeah Ton', it's me. Tehran? Taken care of.
You what? Paulie, I said Mike Love. Mike Love! What the fuck did you do?
June 11, 2025 at 6:01 PM
You what? Paulie, I said Mike Love. Mike Love! What the fuck did you do?
Yeah Ton', it's me. That Beach Boy you don't like? Taken care of. Brian Wilson, you said.
June 11, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Yeah Ton', it's me. That Beach Boy you don't like? Taken care of. Brian Wilson, you said.
Yeah Ton', it's me. Elon and the big guy are breakin' up during Pride Month, just like you wanted.
June 5, 2025 at 9:20 PM
Yeah Ton', it's me. Elon and the big guy are breakin' up during Pride Month, just like you wanted.
I'm cash only so there ain't no receipt. I got a question: what can I wear to get your mother to leave me alone? Heheh.
June 1, 2025 at 7:27 PM
I'm cash only so there ain't no receipt. I got a question: what can I wear to get your mother to leave me alone? Heheh.
D&D? Sure, kid — I give your mother the D, and then I give your sister the D. Heheh.
May 26, 2025 at 7:11 PM
D&D? Sure, kid — I give your mother the D, and then I give your sister the D. Heheh.
Yeah Ton', it's me. Let's just say the Mexican Navy won't be comin' back.
May 18, 2025 at 2:52 AM
Yeah Ton', it's me. Let's just say the Mexican Navy won't be comin' back.
I don't give a fuck where the onion man lays his wood. Quit talkin' about it. Pricks.
May 16, 2025 at 1:59 AM
I don't give a fuck where the onion man lays his wood. Quit talkin' about it. Pricks.
Yeah Ton', it's me. Tatum faked the injury, just like we told him.
May 13, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Yeah Ton', it's me. Tatum faked the injury, just like we told him.