Pants Shaton
@pantsshaton.bsky.social
PHM. Invented the term PHM.
Official biggest fud on Hearts Twitter
De facto biggest fud on Hearts BlueSky
Dislike Hibs and fascists. Especially Hibs fascists.
Official biggest fud on Hearts Twitter
De facto biggest fud on Hearts BlueSky
Dislike Hibs and fascists. Especially Hibs fascists.
Another of my pointless exercises. Just thinking what effect a Scottish Premiership with 4 decent teams would have on the points required to win a league:
This is 85/86 if there had been 3 points for a win and 38 games.
Celtic 74
Hearts 74
Dundee United 69
Aberdeen 63
This is 85/86 if there had been 3 points for a win and 38 games.
Celtic 74
Hearts 74
Dundee United 69
Aberdeen 63
November 14, 2025 at 2:48 PM
Another of my pointless exercises. Just thinking what effect a Scottish Premiership with 4 decent teams would have on the points required to win a league:
This is 85/86 if there had been 3 points for a win and 38 games.
Celtic 74
Hearts 74
Dundee United 69
Aberdeen 63
This is 85/86 if there had been 3 points for a win and 38 games.
Celtic 74
Hearts 74
Dundee United 69
Aberdeen 63
Most people are thick as fuck.
"What is certain, and felt instinctively by almost everybody, is that things cannot go on in their present way" – The Times, May 1975
“It is difficult to imagine a previous period when such an all-pervasive hopelessness was exhibited at all levels of British life” – Professor Stephen Haseler, 1975
“It is difficult to imagine a previous period when such an all-pervasive hopelessness was exhibited at all levels of British life” – Professor Stephen Haseler, 1975
November 14, 2025 at 11:47 AM
Most people are thick as fuck.
Had Kallmann syndrome.
How did he smell?
How did he smell?
Exclusive: Adolf Hitler’s DNA has been sequenced by scientists
It has:
- shown he had a disorder which impacted his sexual development
- debunked rumours about his ancestry
- shown a high likelihood that he had a neurodivergent condition and/or bipolar disorder
www.thetimes.com/article/e728...
It has:
- shown he had a disorder which impacted his sexual development
- debunked rumours about his ancestry
- shown a high likelihood that he had a neurodivergent condition and/or bipolar disorder
www.thetimes.com/article/e728...
Hitler had hidden genetic sexual disorder, DNA analysis reveals
The Nazi dictator had Kallmann syndrome, which hinders normal puberty and the development of sexual organs, according to groundbreaking research
www.thetimes.com
November 12, 2025 at 7:39 PM
Had Kallmann syndrome.
How did he smell?
How did he smell?
I have sources close to Bill Foley and others in the big money finance arena. Apparently Foley worked out the Gordon family were deep into plans for a pump and dump job at Hibernian. Uncovered a cache of secret microfiche documents and the like.
Anyway, the Gordons paid him off for his silence.
Anyway, the Gordons paid him off for his silence.
November 12, 2025 at 5:49 PM
I have sources close to Bill Foley and others in the big money finance arena. Apparently Foley worked out the Gordon family were deep into plans for a pump and dump job at Hibernian. Uncovered a cache of secret microfiche documents and the like.
Anyway, the Gordons paid him off for his silence.
Anyway, the Gordons paid him off for his silence.
New York Times employing a strategy that’s sure to see their Scottish subscription base thrive.
I know who would love this @everybodylovesij.bsky.social
I know who would love this @everybodylovesij.bsky.social
November 12, 2025 at 8:04 AM
New York Times employing a strategy that’s sure to see their Scottish subscription base thrive.
I know who would love this @everybodylovesij.bsky.social
I know who would love this @everybodylovesij.bsky.social
As an aside, that Dundee United team yesterday started and finished with zero Scottish players.
Which I largely couldn’t give a fuck about but it makes me laugh about when yokel teuchters chanted ‘you’re no Scottish anymoar’ back in 05/06
Which I largely couldn’t give a fuck about but it makes me laugh about when yokel teuchters chanted ‘you’re no Scottish anymoar’ back in 05/06
November 10, 2025 at 5:20 PM
As an aside, that Dundee United team yesterday started and finished with zero Scottish players.
Which I largely couldn’t give a fuck about but it makes me laugh about when yokel teuchters chanted ‘you’re no Scottish anymoar’ back in 05/06
Which I largely couldn’t give a fuck about but it makes me laugh about when yokel teuchters chanted ‘you’re no Scottish anymoar’ back in 05/06
Reposted by Pants Shaton
Pov: you are a private equity firm investing in football:
November 10, 2025 at 12:31 PM
Pov: you are a private equity firm investing in football:
Reposted by Pants Shaton
They banned short shorts because of woke. And Peter Beardsley
November 9, 2025 at 7:24 PM
They banned short shorts because of woke. And Peter Beardsley
At 47, I honestly feel a more intelligent person would have learned their lesson about hope by now.
November 9, 2025 at 5:40 PM
At 47, I honestly feel a more intelligent person would have learned their lesson about hope by now.
RAN BY CLOWNs
MCINNES OUt
MCINNES OUt
November 9, 2025 at 5:27 PM
RAN BY CLOWNs
MCINNES OUt
MCINNES OUt
We can’t replace Beni. That was the lesson from today.
November 9, 2025 at 5:17 PM
We can’t replace Beni. That was the lesson from today.
Obviously you can’t judge Ageu based on minimal minutes but he was garbage today.
November 9, 2025 at 5:12 PM
Obviously you can’t judge Ageu based on minimal minutes but he was garbage today.
Reality check.
We’re decent but we’ll finish 3rd.
We’re decent but we’ll finish 3rd.
November 9, 2025 at 5:05 PM
Reality check.
We’re decent but we’ll finish 3rd.
We’re decent but we’ll finish 3rd.
You absolutely can
November 9, 2025 at 12:24 AM
You absolutely can
Reposted by Pants Shaton
Local Teen Walks In On Family Masturbating https://theonion.com/local-teen-walks-in-on-family-masturbating-1819575823/
November 8, 2025 at 8:00 PM
Local Teen Walks In On Family Masturbating https://theonion.com/local-teen-walks-in-on-family-masturbating-1819575823/
Annoying that those cunts seem to be getting a result in Paisley.
I think Hibs are a decent side this season.
I think Hibs are a decent side this season.
November 8, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Annoying that those cunts seem to be getting a result in Paisley.
I think Hibs are a decent side this season.
I think Hibs are a decent side this season.
Hope he does well for St Johnstone - seemed like a good guy
“I went to get my car MOT’d the other day and I got a 60 per cent discount because the mechanic was a Hearts fan."
Exclusive Uche Ikpeazu interview.
He discusses fond Hearts memories, Old Firm interest and being a "proper No.9".
Exclusive Uche Ikpeazu interview.
He discusses fond Hearts memories, Old Firm interest and being a "proper No.9".
Uche Ikpeazu interview: Hearts fan MOT discount, Old Firm interest, scoring v Hibs
www.heartsstandard.co.uk
November 8, 2025 at 10:06 AM
Hope he does well for St Johnstone - seemed like a good guy
If he wins 3 more of these, we win the league
Derek McInnes has won the Premiership Manager of the Month award for the third month running.
He becomes the third top-flight manager in the SPFL era to win the award for three months running.
He becomes the third top-flight manager in the SPFL era to win the award for three months running.
Derek McInnes: Third manager in SPFL to win 3 Manager of the Month awards in a row
The Hearts head coach saw his team win three and draw one of their four fixtures.
www.heartsstandard.co.uk
November 7, 2025 at 12:34 PM
If he wins 3 more of these, we win the league
Don’t understand this. Totally contradicts Gary Mackay
🗣️ Nobody's going to give you an open-top bus parade for having the highest bank accounts
🗣️ Hearts have got magnificent benefactors
🗣️ Does give the club the ability to recruit players
The financial expert's view on the latest Hearts accounts
🗣️ Hearts have got magnificent benefactors
🗣️ Does give the club the ability to recruit players
The financial expert's view on the latest Hearts accounts
Hearts financial accounts explained: Strong position, loss insight, player sales
Hearts Standard spoke to football finance expert Kieran Maguire about the club's latest set of accounts.
www.heartsstandard.co.uk
November 6, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Don’t understand this. Totally contradicts Gary Mackay