(Of course, this will interact with a lot of deep-rooted absolutely ridiculous paranoid anxieties if you are an absolutely ridiculous paranoid-anxious person but thats neither here nor there)

(gotta just focus on the 'hey, I can make a silly picture of The Guy!' aspect)

To think. having such an ability suddenly becomes PARTICULARLY cool when you realize you can draw obscure blorbo #22 a shitbillion times

Oh yeah, I'm oil.panic on discord lmao

Perfectly intelligent average people take up crochet and knitting all the time and discover they Can't Count. You would not believe the time I am having. In the name of relaxation

That said if I finish my backlog of commissions and start drawing insanely niche and self-indulgent shit. Shut ur mouth it's for my health

The biggest barrier right now isn't me and my own brain, for once, it's literally just working retail during the holiday season LOL

Like, I burnt out soooo bad on art it was genuinely driving a lot of borderline suicidal ideation. And now I'm like... passively having ideas and *wanting* to draw things out lately. That hasn't happened in a long long while. I'm like, actually excited about doing things. What da hell right

That is to say, my feelings on art have been shifting positively, too... and it feels really silly to say 'I haven't drawn anything, but I'm FEELING good about art lately!', I know, but believe me when I say it's really a significant thing on my end lmfao

I still crash out badly and regularly (@ all my friends who bear witness: haha sorry) but like, the line is definitely trending upwards as I understand more of what I need in order to maintain a certain baseline of stability.

(This anecdotal insight brought to you by me not having been able to afford Adderall in a few months, and flailing about for small fixes in the meantime)

The more the inner five-year-old I've been told my entire life to aggressively ignore and silence turns out to be right, the more I just have to laugh

Bargaining with my brain like it's an entirely separate toddler and the toddler is *winning* and actually wasn't kidding about the 'donut now, then I'll work, I promise!' thing. Jesus christ.

Anyway guess who discovered that the carrot-and-stick method doesn't work in the fucking least, because my dumbass toddler brain responds to being rewarded *in advance* of a task. Not when it's done but before it's even started. What the fuck, genuinely

And it's just kind of a hilarious double-whammy when like, you come across a solution that actually helps (for however long -- fingers crossed) and it's STUPID. The FIX for the embarrassing problem is ALSO embarrassing

Omg, that's really sweet? ;_; Thank you so much! I feel awful though since I've been really struggling to get anything done artistically, lately, but I'd be happy to answer whatever's on your mind??

Yeah sure I'll dm you, but as you can probably guess, there's really nothing there! I don't want to get TOO Open And Vulnerable if I can't kinda-sorta vet who's exposed to my weird nonsense. For everyone's sake, lmfao.

I have had a nsfw alt on every website i have ever been on my friend. I have Silly Needs