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ohheyaves.bsky.social
Hot Mess Express
@ohheyaves.bsky.social
180 followers 310 following 900 posts
I’m a train wreck, but like 25 people think I’m funny, and isn’t that all that matters? Immune compromised wife, mother, and coffee addict. Swears a lot. Socially awkward. PNW for life.
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ohheyaves.bsky.social
Usually I’d say “the Willamette Valley Willamette Valley’d” but the entire West Coast was socked in last night. Anyway the clouds parted for about 20 minutes, the sky turned very faintly pink, and I cried bc that’s how much I love her.
A photo of the aurora borealis above a roof line in the lower right and some Doug fir trees on the left: light green just above the roof, with a light fuschia color taking up most of the sky. There are a couple clouds in the center of the auroras.
November 12, 2025 at 3:23 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
Y’know, it might be raining but it’s WARM. 53° ain’t bad for October 31st.
Selfie! Purple hair, black hoodie, purple glasses, half smile.
November 1, 2025 at 3:15 AM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
Not nearly as busy as usual. Probably because of the rain. (🙄) I have special treats for kids with the password Teacher Husband gave his students today, but thus far only one kid has shouted “POTSTICKERS” at me.
A wide selection of Halloween treats: Fruit by the Foot, Pokémon cards, ans basketball cards, with Nerds Ropes hidden under a towel.
November 1, 2025 at 2:25 AM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
This doesn’t even capture the full scope of the No Kings protest in Newberg today. The crowd went all the way to the light at Meridian on both branches of the highway, plus plenty of people behind this shot on 99W.
An aerial shot of the No Kings Protest in Newberg, Oregon 10/18/25
October 18, 2025 at 10:20 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
Brian Kilmeade is very much not a Black man.
Screenshot of Brian Kilmeade’s Wikipedia page
September 14, 2025 at 3:25 AM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
“We just don’t know if it’s his real signature!” Buddy, I walk by his dumb ass signature 14 times a damn day, and also I’m not 6, so I guess you could say I don’t have any doubts.
A side by side of Mango Mussolini’s signature on the Epstein birthday card versus the signature stamped on the certificate that proves my kid is smarter than yours.
September 10, 2025 at 5:42 AM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
The drive-in line is backed up down Fernwood halfway to Brutscher, in case any of the 4 people who read my posts were wondering how Newberg is doing today. Literally have never seen it like this before.
Cars lined up along the shoulder of a narrow road. The sky is clear and blue the trees are full of green leaves. There’s a white man preparing a blanket to wait on along the sidewalk.
May 25, 2025 at 1:49 AM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
The auroras over the Chehalem Mountains, and again from my literal backyard. I’ll never get over it.
A photos of the aurora borealis above the Chehalem Mountains. The auroras are green speckled and swirly at the base, with some pink glow at the top. The aurora borealis over the roof of a house with a large Doug fir in the foreground on the left. The auroras are light green columns at the base with some pink and purple glow at the top.
May 9, 2025 at 7:57 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
A year ago today: I chased auroras right here in my corner of the Willamette Valley. It was a fucking magical night that I will never, ever forget. Photos taken on Chehalem Mt.
A photo of diagonal (left to right) fuschia auroras in light columns surrounded by purple aurora light. There are stars in the background of the lights; the foreground is a fence and some shrubbery silhouette. Auroras that are green swirlies and some lightly diagonal column formations at the base, with light and medium pink lights and columns forming most of the aurora. There are stars in the background, with silhouettes trees in the foreground.
May 9, 2025 at 7:52 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
Max Collins’ great great grandfather?
A concert poster featuring Max Collins from Eve 6 on the left and a guy from Titus Andronicus on the right, fashioned to look like they’re on FaceTime. I can’t tell you the Titus Andronicus dude’s name because if I close my app to google it then Bluesky will totally restart for me. Anyway, the poster’s tones are muted, and there are 3 concert dates listed at the bottom on the Titus Andronicus dude’s side: 2/17 in NY at The Gramercy, 2/19 in Baltimore at The Recher, and 2/20 in Philly at Underground Arts.
May 6, 2025 at 2:29 AM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
I watched my friend’s kid kick some ass on the court and realized how much I miss being a tennis mom. Texted Kid 2 and died laughing at her response. She ain’t wrong.
A screenshot of a text exchange, starring my daughter and me. Ava: are you suuuuuuuure you don’t wanna try playing tennis? Kid 2: yep. Playing sports is basically public humiliation every time you fail. Which applies to tennis even more than some sports because you’re either the only one of the court or the only two representing your team while everyone watches.
April 13, 2025 at 11:30 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
Be honest. Is 42 too old to be exposing a bra strap? Has my time wearing an off the shoulder top run out? Because it’s a cute ass shirt, but I’m also a middle aged mom with teens. I don’t want to look cringey, y’know?
A photo of Ava, who is a white woman with purple hair and blue eyes. She is wearing blue jeans, an off the shoulder Atlanta Braves top with her right shoulder and a cream colored bra strap exposed, colorful Dansko clogs, and a white face mask. She is taking a selfie in the mirror of a white dressing room with faux wood flooring and excellent light.
March 22, 2025 at 5:26 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
Post a fictional character who you think would be an antivaxxer.

Hard mode: No villains
Dick Casablancas on graduation day at the end of season 2 of Veronica Mars. He is wearing jeans and a bright green shirt that says “trust me…I’m rich” with fellow graduates behind him in their caps and gowns. He is in the middle of doing a dance at Veronica, who isn’t in the frame, while singing “upchuck the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat.” No, that is not a typo. He literally said upchuck, which Veronica called him out on. Go watch the show on Hulu if you’re curious.
March 19, 2025 at 10:35 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
Oh, it’s a really good batch this time.
A photo of Ava’s right hand, palm side up, holding a chunk of partially eaten focaccia between her thumb and pointer finger against the backdrop of a dark blue blanket. The underside of the focaccia is shown; it’s a lovely golden brown color.
March 18, 2025 at 12:59 AM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
Hello from my focaccia that’s fresh out of the oven.
An up close photo of a pan of focaccia. The bread is a golden brown, with deep dimples and sprinkled with seat salt flakes and rosemary.
March 18, 2025 at 12:53 AM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
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A meme of a gorilla holding its right hand up, which is clenched in a fist. The text reads “Rock. Paper. Scissors. Throat punch!”
March 2, 2025 at 8:38 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
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A black and white photo of Batman that reads “I will hit you so hard that words describing the impact will appear out of thin air.”
March 2, 2025 at 8:37 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
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A meme of a bird with outspread wings on a post surrounded by bird seed. It is kicking another bird off the post with text that reads “fuck outta here wit dat dumb shit”
March 2, 2025 at 8:36 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
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A black and white meme of a Betty Boop/Looney Tunes-style female character on stage in front of a microwave. The text reads fuck you and suck my lady balls bitch!”
March 2, 2025 at 8:35 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
bsky.app/profile/igot...
A meme of an old timey-style cartoon man with dark hair and a suit. In each hand he holds a bag and his arms are extended out to each side of his body. The text reads “go suck a bag of dicks”
March 2, 2025 at 8:33 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
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A Grumpy Cat meme that reads “row row row your boat gently…off a fucking cliff”
March 2, 2025 at 8:32 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
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A meme reading “not today bitch” with a photo of a zebra kicking a lion with its back legs
March 2, 2025 at 8:31 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
bsky.app/profile/igot...
A black and white photo of a man in a button down shirt and tie. He is face palming with his left hand and holds his glasses in his right hand. The text reads “oh, for fuck’s sake…”
March 2, 2025 at 8:29 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
A meme of an orca with its head and flippers above the ocean. It reads “I came out of the ocean because you need to stop.”
March 2, 2025 at 8:28 PM
ohheyaves.bsky.social
Ohhhh, it’s my time to shine. I happen to have a meme collection perfect for this.
A meme that reads at the top “have you ever been so angry.” Below the words is a photo of a man in a light like green tee shirt and jeans swinging a man in a blue graphic tee and jeans around by his left leg. The man in the green shirt appears to be gearing up to swing the man in the blue shirt at a figure running away and barely visible but for his back and a leg. Below this scene it reads that you hit a motherfucker with another motherfucker?”
March 2, 2025 at 8:26 PM