cunt eatswood
@novacorpse.bsky.social
no DMs unless you're a rebel |
34 | bitch milkshake |
would nut in your sibling and just say oops |
he/him
34 | bitch milkshake |
would nut in your sibling and just say oops |
he/him
Reposted by cunt eatswood
Life was better when I was the weird old bat with an obsessive and parochial hatred of some rich former countryman instead of being Cassandra muttering "Fucking told you so!" through gritted teeth.
February 7, 2025 at 7:53 AM
Life was better when I was the weird old bat with an obsessive and parochial hatred of some rich former countryman instead of being Cassandra muttering "Fucking told you so!" through gritted teeth.
Reposted by cunt eatswood
I could never be cool nowadays...
Mostly because I say the word nowadays.
Mostly because I say the word nowadays.
February 6, 2025 at 4:52 PM
I could never be cool nowadays...
Mostly because I say the word nowadays.
Mostly because I say the word nowadays.
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When I said I liked it rough I didn't mean my entire life.
February 7, 2025 at 1:14 AM
When I said I liked it rough I didn't mean my entire life.
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never have I ever regretted staying home
February 6, 2025 at 2:19 PM
never have I ever regretted staying home
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what makes us kink (casual chats among friends)
January 24, 2025 at 12:55 AM
what makes us kink (casual chats among friends)
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to sperm, the microplastics are little disco balls
January 10, 2025 at 1:36 PM
to sperm, the microplastics are little disco balls
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“Are you the branch manager?”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
January 10, 2025 at 1:56 PM
“Are you the branch manager?”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
“Yes I am, how can I help you?”
“I would like two branches, please.”
“How would you like that?”
“Two big sticks, four little sticks.”
Reposted by cunt eatswood
eat well
love passionately
fuck aggressively
be gentle
work hard
rest unapologetically
love passionately
fuck aggressively
be gentle
work hard
rest unapologetically
January 10, 2025 at 1:22 AM
eat well
love passionately
fuck aggressively
be gentle
work hard
rest unapologetically
love passionately
fuck aggressively
be gentle
work hard
rest unapologetically
Reposted by cunt eatswood
fuck nudes, show me what you’re listening to.
January 10, 2025 at 9:13 PM
fuck nudes, show me what you’re listening to.
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imaginary friends who spend a lot of time thinking about chokefucking
January 10, 2025 at 5:48 PM
imaginary friends who spend a lot of time thinking about chokefucking
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you are your fantasies.
January 10, 2025 at 1:08 AM
you are your fantasies.
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Alexa, invade Luxembourg.
January 6, 2025 at 6:06 AM
Alexa, invade Luxembourg.
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I was digging in my basement and found a marionette I made of Robert Plant around 2000-2001 for a high school art project.
I poured a Whole Lotta Love into it.
I poured a Whole Lotta Love into it.
December 1, 2024 at 6:31 PM
I was digging in my basement and found a marionette I made of Robert Plant around 2000-2001 for a high school art project.
I poured a Whole Lotta Love into it.
I poured a Whole Lotta Love into it.
Reposted by cunt eatswood
Alexa, hold me and lie to me that everything is going to be ok.
December 20, 2024 at 5:21 AM
Alexa, hold me and lie to me that everything is going to be ok.
Reposted by cunt eatswood
At my funeral there’ll be a 37 minute montage of me trying to find something to watch on Netflix
November 27, 2024 at 11:53 AM
At my funeral there’ll be a 37 minute montage of me trying to find something to watch on Netflix
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Might just fuck around and acknowledge that the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.
December 18, 2024 at 11:06 PM
Might just fuck around and acknowledge that the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.
Reposted by cunt eatswood
Foolishly summoning my familiar and asking my barbarian friend to launch it at a building that we want to find out about just to have him obliterate it.
Guess we'll go up to the building and do a good old-fashioned perception check then.
Guess we'll go up to the building and do a good old-fashioned perception check then.
December 19, 2024 at 9:04 AM
Foolishly summoning my familiar and asking my barbarian friend to launch it at a building that we want to find out about just to have him obliterate it.
Guess we'll go up to the building and do a good old-fashioned perception check then.
Guess we'll go up to the building and do a good old-fashioned perception check then.
Reposted by cunt eatswood
Don’t ask me to make eye contact during sex then call the cops on me just bc I’m outside the window
December 15, 2024 at 8:21 PM
Don’t ask me to make eye contact during sex then call the cops on me just bc I’m outside the window
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Alexa, I want to know what love is, I want you to show me.
December 3, 2024 at 6:12 AM
Alexa, I want to know what love is, I want you to show me.
Reposted by cunt eatswood
At my age when I say I want my guts rearranged it means I'm gonna chase a bran muffin with a probiotic protein shake
December 14, 2024 at 5:31 PM
At my age when I say I want my guts rearranged it means I'm gonna chase a bran muffin with a probiotic protein shake