accidentally had two packages delivered to my old work address and the post office said they can’t do anything about it

when im in a going home early contest and my opponent is me

lord i’ve seen what you’ve done for others and absolutely do not do that shit to me

(talking really loudly at the gym) yeah man im doing feet today

good morning losers im back on this stupid app for my quarterly post (no longer feel the will to post because covid made my brain normal)

what’s up greeks and losers

so then the barbie movie pr team made an airbnb in malibu that was all pink. then this guy said that the oppenheimer pr team should (the alien im talking to starts beating it’s head against the wall of its cell hard as shit) yo chill dude chill

if i could go back in time i would be the first guy to invent boardwalk shirts that say stuff like “oh shit im italian”. my empire would span asbury park down to cape may & eventually crumble when my refusal to print shirts of cartoons smoking blunts sees me overtaken by new young industry upstarts

what da fuck is a wet bulb temperature im going to kill myself