@nonotjeffallen.bsky.social
I mostly sell beer. I sometimes play music. I always am very tired.
The children yearn for the mines
November 11, 2025 at 11:36 PM
The children yearn for the mines
It's the body builder "here's the thing champ" "well actually king" meme but it's fucking skynet telling some schlub to off himself.
November 7, 2025 at 10:02 PM
It's the body builder "here's the thing champ" "well actually king" meme but it's fucking skynet telling some schlub to off himself.
Listening to them describe Scherzer pregame. Oldest person to ever play baseball. A shambling corpse on a 1 year contract. 41 years old.
November 2, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Listening to them describe Scherzer pregame. Oldest person to ever play baseball. A shambling corpse on a 1 year contract. 41 years old.
Apple Juice is so much worse for you than Miller Lite it's almost unbelievable
November 2, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Apple Juice is so much worse for you than Miller Lite it's almost unbelievable
TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHERFUCKER
November 1, 2025 at 12:39 AM
TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHERFUCKER
If Deckerhoff was still in the booth I'd go radio exclusive. Thank goodness FSU is so bad I take the whole family and watch live for less than the cost of cable!
October 31, 2025 at 4:03 PM
If Deckerhoff was still in the booth I'd go radio exclusive. Thank goodness FSU is so bad I take the whole family and watch live for less than the cost of cable!
Love that Disney is doing its annual shakedown of carriers in the middle of football season. How lucky it is for me that FSU is so bad that this might be the time I walk away and never look back?
October 31, 2025 at 9:22 AM
Love that Disney is doing its annual shakedown of carriers in the middle of football season. How lucky it is for me that FSU is so bad that this might be the time I walk away and never look back?
WHO ELSE TRYNA GET DIARRHEA TONIGHT LEMME HEAR YOU SAY YEEEEEEEEEEAH
October 30, 2025 at 11:14 PM
WHO ELSE TRYNA GET DIARRHEA TONIGHT LEMME HEAR YOU SAY YEEEEEEEEEEAH
You can hear the disappointment in the doctor's voice when the labs all come back perfect after I was honest on the intake form about alcohol and tobacco use.
October 30, 2025 at 1:52 PM
You can hear the disappointment in the doctor's voice when the labs all come back perfect after I was honest on the intake form about alcohol and tobacco use.
7am hotel balcony beers just hit different
October 25, 2025 at 11:37 AM
7am hotel balcony beers just hit different
Where else can you get 3.63lbs of food for $5.99? Costco pumpkin pie is the best value in the game.
October 19, 2025 at 2:35 PM
Where else can you get 3.63lbs of food for $5.99? Costco pumpkin pie is the best value in the game.
"Made with real dairy" isn't as reassuring as they probably meant it to be
October 18, 2025 at 12:54 PM
"Made with real dairy" isn't as reassuring as they probably meant it to be
Petition to reclassify lead from mineral to vegetable
October 14, 2025 at 6:07 PM
Petition to reclassify lead from mineral to vegetable
If you've missed my How To Stop Teen Slang Seminars, the same principles apply to meme culture and I'd like to thank all of you, my imaginary phone friends, for making this magic moment possible. She's 12.
October 11, 2025 at 4:02 PM
If you've missed my How To Stop Teen Slang Seminars, the same principles apply to meme culture and I'd like to thank all of you, my imaginary phone friends, for making this magic moment possible. She's 12.
I won't tell anybody I won the lottery. But there will be signs.
October 10, 2025 at 1:58 AM
I won't tell anybody I won the lottery. But there will be signs.
This is the best advertisement I have ever seen in my life. I will never see the movie.
October 7, 2025 at 10:50 PM
This is the best advertisement I have ever seen in my life. I will never see the movie.
What did I sign up for and how long ago did I do it to also get that last night?
October 7, 2025 at 12:57 PM
What did I sign up for and how long ago did I do it to also get that last night?
Reject modernity
October 3, 2025 at 4:05 PM
Reject modernity
Got to ride the airport train AND watch Paw Patrol on an airplane this is a top 5 day in my man's entire life
October 2, 2025 at 1:21 PM
Got to ride the airport train AND watch Paw Patrol on an airplane this is a top 5 day in my man's entire life
Lord, grant me the serenity of this frog observing the pool vacuum. Amen.
October 1, 2025 at 8:26 PM
Lord, grant me the serenity of this frog observing the pool vacuum. Amen.