Noah Garfinkel
@noahgarfinkel.bsky.social
TV Writer: Kroll Show, New Girl, Other Cancelled Sitcoms
Republicans are always so desperate to masculinize the military, but it’s always like “No more trans members” or “Now we’re the department of WAR” and never just the sort of reasonable thing of “What if the navy uniform wasn’t the Shirliest fucking Temple thing on the planet?”
September 14, 2025 at 2:40 AM
Republicans are always so desperate to masculinize the military, but it’s always like “No more trans members” or “Now we’re the department of WAR” and never just the sort of reasonable thing of “What if the navy uniform wasn’t the Shirliest fucking Temple thing on the planet?”
You mean Saturday?
August 3, 2025 at 3:37 PM
You mean Saturday?
It’s a time travel book about stopping the JFK assassination and “Ozzie” is referring to Lee Harvard Oswald. 10/10 so far.
August 1, 2025 at 4:17 PM
It’s a time travel book about stopping the JFK assassination and “Ozzie” is referring to Lee Harvard Oswald. 10/10 so far.
Congratulations! This is your third right? Two girls and now a boy. Nice. That’s a good dynamic. What am *I* up to? Well lately I’ve been singing Gorgui Dieng to the tune of Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen so that’s been keeping me pretty busy.
July 25, 2025 at 7:55 PM
Congratulations! This is your third right? Two girls and now a boy. Nice. That’s a good dynamic. What am *I* up to? Well lately I’ve been singing Gorgui Dieng to the tune of Glory Days by Bruce Springsteen so that’s been keeping me pretty busy.
This is where I like to come to breastfeed Harry Reid.
July 14, 2025 at 6:18 PM
This is where I like to come to breastfeed Harry Reid.
“There’s a guy named Furphy.”
June 17, 2025 at 3:20 AM
“There’s a guy named Furphy.”
Out of nowhere I started laughing to myself about the idea of a group of 12 year olds in 2000 getting caught trying to sneak into The Legend Of Bagger Vance.
June 14, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Out of nowhere I started laughing to myself about the idea of a group of 12 year olds in 2000 getting caught trying to sneak into The Legend Of Bagger Vance.
My mother quit her lucrative job at General Mills because she thought it should be called Chocolate Dracula. Our family never recovered.
June 12, 2025 at 7:15 PM
My mother quit her lucrative job at General Mills because she thought it should be called Chocolate Dracula. Our family never recovered.
Even shake a baby? Smh.
June 4, 2025 at 7:34 AM
Even shake a baby? Smh.
There are 331 episodes of E.R. and this is only episode 15.
June 3, 2025 at 4:17 AM
There are 331 episodes of E.R. and this is only episode 15.
I just went ahead and made it for them.
May 30, 2025 at 12:08 AM
I just went ahead and made it for them.
I have never been able to tell if the joke of the commercial is that she’s bad at acting like she’s sad her son is leaving for college or if the joke is that she’s teasing him by purposefully doing a bad job of acting like she’s sad. Either way I’d rather die than see it again.
May 27, 2025 at 11:59 PM
I have never been able to tell if the joke of the commercial is that she’s bad at acting like she’s sad her son is leaving for college or if the joke is that she’s teasing him by purposefully doing a bad job of acting like she’s sad. Either way I’d rather die than see it again.
I cut off the question, but the interviewer asked him what happened in Little Fockers.
May 27, 2025 at 10:57 PM
I cut off the question, but the interviewer asked him what happened in Little Fockers.
What do you mean “What do you mean?”?
May 27, 2025 at 7:43 PM
What do you mean “What do you mean?”?
His name is Luthen because he’s trying to luthen the Empire’s grip on the galaxy.
May 25, 2025 at 7:44 PM
His name is Luthen because he’s trying to luthen the Empire’s grip on the galaxy.
If you don’t call her Monica Mothman in your head and imagine her as a former camp counselor, we are not watching Star Wars the same way.
May 25, 2025 at 7:40 PM
If you don’t call her Monica Mothman in your head and imagine her as a former camp counselor, we are not watching Star Wars the same way.
When your mom just gave birth to twin baby boys.
May 23, 2025 at 2:52 AM
When your mom just gave birth to twin baby boys.
Gorgui Dieng
You probably think this song is about you
You probably think this song is about you
May 23, 2025 at 12:40 AM
Gorgui Dieng
You probably think this song is about you
You probably think this song is about you
I looked up the plot for M. Night Shyamalan’s The Visit (2015).
May 22, 2025 at 5:45 PM
I looked up the plot for M. Night Shyamalan’s The Visit (2015).
This is what I’ve been working on today.
May 18, 2025 at 3:16 AM
This is what I’ve been working on today.
Safelite repair. Safelite replace.
May 17, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Safelite repair. Safelite replace.
You, a basketball fan: Shai Gilgeous-Alexander
Me, also a basketball fan, but on an edible and suddenly remembering a player for the Houston Oilers who was in a Pizza Hut commercial when I was six: Ray Childress-Alexander
Me, also a basketball fan, but on an edible and suddenly remembering a player for the Houston Oilers who was in a Pizza Hut commercial when I was six: Ray Childress-Alexander
May 16, 2025 at 1:21 AM
You, a basketball fan: Shai Gilgeous-Alexander
Me, also a basketball fan, but on an edible and suddenly remembering a player for the Houston Oilers who was in a Pizza Hut commercial when I was six: Ray Childress-Alexander
Me, also a basketball fan, but on an edible and suddenly remembering a player for the Houston Oilers who was in a Pizza Hut commercial when I was six: Ray Childress-Alexander
Denver’s coach looks like a little boy who won’t clean up his room.
May 10, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Denver’s coach looks like a little boy who won’t clean up his room.
Really enjoying the Let ‘Em Know signs in the background while Tony Brothers lets ‘em know what the call is.
May 7, 2025 at 1:43 AM
Really enjoying the Let ‘Em Know signs in the background while Tony Brothers lets ‘em know what the call is.
For some reason I took the time today to remove the “or alive” part of this song so it sounds like Bon Jovi is just singing about how people want him dead.
April 28, 2025 at 12:09 AM
For some reason I took the time today to remove the “or alive” part of this song so it sounds like Bon Jovi is just singing about how people want him dead.