Noah Constrictor
@noahdirt.bsky.social
December 6, 2025 at 10:34 PM
December 4, 2025 at 10:41 PM
🎶🎶It’s a cold and it’s a broken rolled up long underweara🎶🎶
December 2, 2025 at 11:42 PM
🎶🎶It’s a cold and it’s a broken rolled up long underweara🎶🎶
What it’s like being an F-250 owner reading my DEVO is antifa bumper sticker while I dust your not-meant-for-highway-speed ass in my AWD Subaru the first snowstorm of the year.
December 1, 2025 at 6:43 PM
What it’s like being an F-250 owner reading my DEVO is antifa bumper sticker while I dust your not-meant-for-highway-speed ass in my AWD Subaru the first snowstorm of the year.
Probably more than a thousand calls to 9-1-1 finding a dead grandma were made on these things.
November 25, 2025 at 7:32 AM
Probably more than a thousand calls to 9-1-1 finding a dead grandma were made on these things.
Midwestern men should have two looks: Ed and Gein.
November 17, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Midwestern men should have two looks: Ed and Gein.
Mamdani’s the first major candidate in years to give people a real way out of the MAGA nightmare through economic populism that actually resonates.
And what do the party’s biggest names do? Fucking hide. They’ve built whole careers on losing politely and mistaking paralysis for principle.
And what do the party’s biggest names do? Fucking hide. They’ve built whole careers on losing politely and mistaking paralysis for principle.
November 1, 2025 at 1:24 AM
Mamdani’s the first major candidate in years to give people a real way out of the MAGA nightmare through economic populism that actually resonates.
And what do the party’s biggest names do? Fucking hide. They’ve built whole careers on losing politely and mistaking paralysis for principle.
And what do the party’s biggest names do? Fucking hide. They’ve built whole careers on losing politely and mistaking paralysis for principle.
October 2, 2025 at 9:51 PM
Only photo I have of my dad.
September 24, 2025 at 2:29 AM
Only photo I have of my dad.
Here’s to winning every game 4-3. Iowa Hawkeye football is proof that offense is a mortal sin and God has a special section of heaven roped off for the abstinent.
August 30, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Here’s to winning every game 4-3. Iowa Hawkeye football is proof that offense is a mortal sin and God has a special section of heaven roped off for the abstinent.
Disrupted Birdie’s 3rd nap of the morning. Pouting.
August 5, 2025 at 11:47 AM
Disrupted Birdie’s 3rd nap of the morning. Pouting.
My greyhound jumps in the Zika puddle every chance she gets.
July 26, 2025 at 8:20 PM
My greyhound jumps in the Zika puddle every chance she gets.
[dog takes giant, mostly-soft shit on new rug because she wouldn’t go outside due to thunderstorms and I had to take shower]
That’s right out of the authoritarian playbook, isn’t it good girl?
That’s right out of the authoritarian playbook, isn’t it good girl?
July 21, 2025 at 11:52 AM
[dog takes giant, mostly-soft shit on new rug because she wouldn’t go outside due to thunderstorms and I had to take shower]
That’s right out of the authoritarian playbook, isn’t it good girl?
That’s right out of the authoritarian playbook, isn’t it good girl?
June 18, 2025 at 3:39 PM
Down 22 pounds. 240 to get to my target weight of 0 pounds. Trying to be 100% soul by sweater season.
June 4, 2025 at 11:44 AM
Down 22 pounds. 240 to get to my target weight of 0 pounds. Trying to be 100% soul by sweater season.
A decade of Trivago using spokesmen who look like they gamble on how long a dog can make it locked in a hot car.
May 26, 2025 at 12:34 PM
A decade of Trivago using spokesmen who look like they gamble on how long a dog can make it locked in a hot car.
2nd year in a row an owlet has shown up at my door. Assuming the one nesting in my tree was the one here last year. I’m a fucking Disney princess.
May 12, 2025 at 12:36 AM
2nd year in a row an owlet has shown up at my door. Assuming the one nesting in my tree was the one here last year. I’m a fucking Disney princess.
He does know how to work with child molestors.
May 3, 2025 at 12:05 PM
He does know how to work with child molestors.
Despite all my brakes, I still smashed through the jasmine and sage.
May 1, 2025 at 11:04 AM
Despite all my brakes, I still smashed through the jasmine and sage.
